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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to cancel this holiday?

37 replies

CatthiefKeith · 26/03/2015 12:32

My parents very kindly offered to pay for dd and I to join them on holiday next week. They are also treating my sister and her two children. Dh is not joining us as he has too much work on.

The holiday is to celebrate my sisters 30th and Dm's 65th. Dm has had a long battle with cancer and is currrently cancer free, so lots to celebrate.

However, the holiday is in Tunisia, and a plane has just come down. I keep thinking about what I would do, with dd at 3.9, in that situation (nothing, obviously, that you can do) and now I have got myself in a bit of a state about it.

I don't want to go. Well I do, but not to Tunisia, and not on a plane really. Sad

OP posts:
fearandloathinginambridge · 26/03/2015 12:35

I can totally understand why you would feel nervous but I YABU for wanting to cancel this holiday. The risk really is extremely low.

Do you suffer from anxiety in general?

OhNoNotMyBaby · 26/03/2015 12:36

Sorry but YABU.

Tragically it appears that the crash was a deliberate act - nothing to do with plane safety.

If you don't fly now, when will you fly? next month, next year, never?

Statistically, air travel is safer than any other form of travel. (Horse-riding is the most dangerous I believe!)

Of course we're all going to be feeling a bit more nervous than usual next time we fly, but don't let the bastards get you down.

fairylightsbackintheloft · 26/03/2015 12:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedABumChange · 26/03/2015 12:44

YABU.

NeedABumChange · 26/03/2015 12:45

How many car crashes do you see on the roads? Bet your still happy to put dd in a car.

TheWitTank · 26/03/2015 12:46

YABU but I do understand and sympathise with your fear. As mentioned above, horse riding is MUCH more dangerous -yet I do it all the time (riding an 18hh show jumper) but I get nervy about getting on a plane. Fear is often irrational, flying is very safe.
Go, enjoy your holiday. Read some statistics, avoid the news coverage and live your life.

InfinitySeven · 26/03/2015 12:46

There was 1 fatal plane accident for every 2.8 million flights last year, not including the Ukraine crash, because that was an act of war.

France's crash was horrific, and is raw, but it appears that it was deliberate and it is no reflection on plane safety. It is also INCREDIBLY rare, which is why it is all over the news.

Try to avoid the news for a while, and don't feed the anxiety. Treat boarding the plane the same as you would at any other point. You are going on a lovely holiday with your parents and daughter, and Tunisia is beautiful.

You are at much greater risk in your car than in a plane.

TheFecklessFairy · 26/03/2015 12:47

You take more of a chance every time you cross the road, or walk on a pavement on a busy road with your DD.

LisaD1 · 26/03/2015 12:48

YABU to let this stop your family having a wonderful holiday. The chances of this happening are minute. Imagine the families of the deceased? Many of them have had to board a plane to go to the crash site but they still boarded a plane.

It looks sadly like this was an act of deliberate murder of those passengers and the safety of the plane not in question.

I am a frightened flyer but to not fly would be to let these people dictate our lives, so I still fly and paint a smile on my face for my children.

Enjoy your holiday.

Celticlass2 · 26/03/2015 12:50

I understand completely OP. We are flying at the weekend, and I rarely give a second thought to flying. In fact I actually enjoy flying.
I do feel a bit more nervous this time though because of everything that's happened recently!
I would go if I were you. In real terms the risks are actually very low, although I appreciate that doesn't help many people if they are suffering anxiety.

Original poster
CatthiefKeith · 26/03/2015 12:56

I'm not a nervous person at all usually, honestly!

I too love flying, I just can't shake off the feeling that it's a bad idea. Probably because I will have dd with me.

OP posts:
FenellaFellorick · 26/03/2015 13:03

I do understand that it's difficult and it's human nature to feel anxious and funnily enough the less risky something is, the more worried some of us can get on the rare occasions something does happen.

But to put it into perspective

In an average year, approx 1300 people are killed by plane crashes

in 2013 in the uk there were apparently just over 180,000 road traffic accidents that resulted in injury with over 1700 car crashes with a fatality. Worldwide, 3000 people a day die as a result of rtas. That's 1,095,000 people killed in RTAs (with another 50 million injured) over the same period that 1,300 are killed by plane crashes.

More people in the world are killed each year by being a left handed person using a right handed tool (2,500) than are killed by a plane crash.

SoleSource · 26/03/2015 13:05

My friend is in Sousse, Tunisia ad arrived last night. They're going on trips out tomorrow.

Hoppinggreen · 26/03/2015 13:07

I'm flying next week and feel a bit sick at the thought to be honest but I'm still going.
I probably wouldn't go to Tunisia from choice but as it's booked and given the reason for the holiday I think you need to go

championnibbler · 26/03/2015 13:11

don't go if you don't want to, then.
but if you don't go, you're being a bit daft and selfish really.
tunisia is now on high alert and probably safer than ever since that atrocity.
yeah, i'm sure your plane will go crashing to the ground because it happened in France the other day. or am i being sarcastic?
here - have a biscuit and a lie down. you clearly need it.

SantasFavouriteHo · 26/03/2015 13:13

I'm going to Tunisia too in the next 2weeks and am ridiculously worked up about it, I never used to worry prekids and now I'm having horrible thoughts whilst trying to get to sleep
However the holiday is all booked and paid for and ds1 is so excited about going, I am just going to have to get through it
Massive hand hold from me OP, I'm sure realistically that it'll be fine

slithytove · 26/03/2015 13:15

I've just read about that co pilot crashing the plane intentionally. I feel sick to my stomach at such a callous murder of so many people.

Seriouslyffs · 26/03/2015 13:15

Wow @fenellasfacts
More than twice as many people die in car crashes a day as in plane crashes.
DS is boarding in a minute and DH is flying this evening. I like that fact a lot.

Original poster
CatthiefKeith · 26/03/2015 13:16

Thank you (mostly) for the reassurance. I know, realistically, that it will almost certainly be fine, but am irrationally worried about the whole thing.

I was a concerned when the terror attack happened, but calmed down a bit, and then the plane crashed. Sad

OP posts:
Seriouslyffs · 26/03/2015 13:17

Are you usually such a twat champion?

expatinscotland · 26/03/2015 13:17

YABU

Celticlass2 · 26/03/2015 13:18

OMG, just heard on the news about the deliberate crashing of the German Wings flight. Feel sick..

Original poster
CatthiefKeith · 26/03/2015 13:20

Seriouslyffs you beat me to it! Flowers

OP posts:
KittensOnAPlane · 26/03/2015 13:21

I went to Tunisia in October 2011, now that was fun! queues and queues at the airport.

We thought about whether to still go because of Sept 2011, but went with it in the end

Yes, its ok to be anxious and nervous, but really, you will be fine

BasinHaircut · 26/03/2015 13:22

You have to go.

I understand though, I was thinking about what id do in that situation on the way to work yesterday and got myself into a bit of a state imagining DH, DS and I on that plane.

But you have to put it into perspective. Are you worried about the car journey to the airport? Because that's much more risky in reality.