The breakfast debate in our home.

[justbatteringon]

When dp gets up he makes himself and our ds eggs and porridge every morning. I consider this their thing they do together.

I'm not a big fan of eggs and porridge I think it's a faff to make so when I get up with DS who's 2 btw I give him formula and toast maybe some cereal. Usually his dad is up about an hour later and they have their breakfast anyway.

But dear mners dp thinks I should also make eggs and porridge on my mornings aibu not to do this ? (It usually causes a few shouty words when I haven't)

He insists that ds has porridge and eggs every morning even when dp's parents have ds he makes them give him eggs and porridge.
I'm the worst in the world if I don't.

What happens if ds doesn't feel like it and would rather just have some toast or a banana. I can't imagine if it's hot outside that sometimes a light breakfast might sometimes be more appealing.

I'm not sure ds has never once refused. This has been going on for over a year now.
DP is very into routine he takes care of breakfast and bed time and I do the middle of the day.
But he's also very strict about bed time to the point where while I was putting him to bed he told me off for not following what he does down to the way I was holding ds.
To be fair ds refuses to go yo sleep for me so his way works.
It takes me a long time to get dp to give ds some independence to learn things on his own.

You need to crack down on this OP....Your DH doesn't get to unilaterally decide DS's breakfast and impose it on everyone

Do your PIL's really follow his destructions or do they slip DS some Cheerios's (hope its the latter)

It sounds like he has issues surrounding his diet which he is projecting onto your son. If he thinks that eggs and porridge is the only healthy breakfast then a) he's wrong and b) he needs to acknowledge that it is not necessary for your son to eat exactly the same thing every day and that a balanced diet is more healthy than a rigidly imposed on.

He really needs to learn to deal with a varierty. I mean there will be times or emergencies that mean ds has to stay else where. He needs to learn to let him eat other things. he can't expect people doing you a favour to cook eggs and porridge. they may well have a long drive to work or other kids to deal with which. mean it's not possible.

no one's going to have him if it comes with a ridiculously long impossible list of instructions.

OP's DP is clearly a MNer with his insistence on porridge and eggs for breakfast

Pil follow list of instructions as far as I know they always come home telling me he ate all of it.
DP would very happily live on meat and potatoes.
My partner is so insistent on this even when I went to stay at my mums without him she made ds porridge for breakfast.

He actually sounds quite controlling, It's not his decision alone what to feed YOUR child. You both need to sit down and talk about it - he can't tell you off for feeding your own son toast or cereal for breakfast!

My dad always made me porridge if he was home at the weekend, mum did bacon sandwiches or pancakes. I loved both but no WAY would dad tell mum off for giving me bacon or vice versa. You're both his parents and you both get to decide what to feed him.

Is he this rigid with other things?

That's just ridiculous, if he wants to make porridge and eggs every morning then fine but demanding that you do too is very controlling. Routine is all fine and good but obviously you don't have to feed your toddler the exact same food for each meal that sounds like a terrible idea. Sounds like your DP has some issues around food (which I'd be careful not to pass onto your DS) or is just generally controlling.

I can see how you get to 45 eggs. Just surprised anyone eats that many without being sick of them lol. Personally, I think it sounds he has food issues tbh. I work in the fitness industry and obsession with food is very very common amongst both men and women who are into body building, power lifting etc. I am slightly concerned this could project onto your ds. Just like women who are obsessed with dieting often pass on food issues to their daughters iyswim.

Your thread title framed this as a 'debate', but it doesn't sound like there is much debate involved - if you, your parents or his parents don't do things 'his way', then he shouts. That's just an unacceptably controlling attitude to food, and I'm really surprised that you are even asking if you're unreasonable to feed your son a perfectly healthy breakfast just because your husband has deemed that only one combination of food is acceptable.