FFS, sodding hen nights!!!

[SmilingandWaving]

I'm going to rant so bear with me!!!

Friend is getting married in August.

Has requested a spa day & night out for almost 30 people in London.

I've spent a long time looking for the best deal and have come up with a night in a 5* spa hotel with use of the facilities and breakfast, 3 course meal in a fairly standard restaurant, entry into a bar/nightclub with a reserved space and 2 glasses of wine each. £150 each, and it's all in the Covent Garden area.

Personally I don't think that's unreasonable for everything that's included but that might be where I'm BU??

I appreciate that not everyone has £150 though & have said there is the option to just come to the meal or just for the evening if it's a problem.

Also the date is fixed in stone because of the brides other commitments.

I've just pitched the idea to a small group of the hens and it's been nothing but moaning about the date or the price.

So I looked up staying in a travel lodge and dinner at La Tasca with use of a hotel spa for the day, it's £100. Apparently the travel lodge isn't very nice (I also know the bride would not be happy with this!)

I don't even know where I'm going with this rant to be honest.

AIBU to think if they're not happy with the suggestions made then they can bloody well put together something for themselves & see how much it is.

Sodding hen nights!!!!

Yanbu to tell them to have a go and find better. Personally I would speak to the bride. Tell her what you have found and tell her the rest of the group aren't happy paying that much. Tbh £150 for an overnight spa break is cheap. Did the bride speak to anyone before deciding what she wanted to do? Should she have known it was out of the groups price bracket?

Hen nights are always complete bastards. You have found what the bride wants (which ultimately is what it is all about, whether people like it or not or find it all OTT, which I always do) for what seems like a really reasonable price. Of course the bride gets to pick the day and the activity! And of course it's not going to suit/be possible for everyone. Fuck 'em. You've done your bit well!

Oops, strike through fail.

that seems an amazing deal for covent garden to be honest.
You can't do anything about the date - do a google calendar and show the bride how many people can actually come on the date she suggests.
I agree you need to say to the bride that the cost is prohibitive and could she consider something smaller. e.g. spa treatment for her and bmaids & mum or whoever, then meeting everyone else just for the meal / nightclub? And could people stay with friends - are you based in London and does everyone have to stay in a hotel?

I'd let the bride know the two options and let her decide which to go with then when people moan you can tell them to take it up with her, which they won't as "She'll have enough on her plate already with a wedding to organise."

OP, can I ask which spas?! Am trying to organise the same thing....

oops didn't see you have already offered the option of only coming to the meal. fuck'em then.

Oh yes, meant to add that the first deal sounds great and if lots of the hens decide not to come and you need to 'rent a crowd' I'll come! I think that's a bargain.

I feel for you. Organising hen nights is the biggest ball ache ever, and I will never agree to do it again.

They don't have a leg to stand on about the date if that's when the bride is free.
How far is central london from where most people live? If it's not too far then yanbu. You've given people the cheaper option of meal only. I think having options for hen nights is great. I'd never be able to afford £150.

The bride has said this is the date, this is roughly what I want, please organise it! She just wants to turn up on the day and be fabulous (I know, but she's lovely really)!

The group is so spread out that anything we do is going to require an overnight stay for almost everyone which obviously increases the cost significantly.

I've not had any further responses since my travel lodge suggestion so I hope they're all googling furiously. I would be more than happy for someone else to take over and find something better to be honest. I only took control as there was a danger of it getting to July with nothing organised!

Just seen all the replies, I'm so glad you think it sounds ok.

This is the hotel www.grangehotels.com/hotels-london/grange-st-pauls/about-grange-st-pauls/ It's lovely. The price doesn't actually include treatments just lounging in various humid places!

I've been talking to a package hen night company called Chillisauce and they've been really helpful happy. Just don't bloody book it for the dates I need!!

Also none of us are based in London but it seemed the easiest location for everyone to travel to.

I don't think the price is unreasonable tbh. I get that not everyone could afford it (including me!) but in the scheme of hen parties I think it's on the fair side.

Moaning about the date is just tough shit if that's the only time the bride can do. And if they can't afford it then they don't go. I wouldn't expect someone's hen do to be arranged around my finances - the only exception would be if the bride knows full well that pretty much all the guests would struggle with the cost.

You're never going to please 30 people!

Also if we book this way everyone pays directly to the package company & they can spread the cost as they like as long as the balance is paid 6 weeks before. I really do not want to be booking everything separately and having to handle other people money or chase them up for payment.

Ball ache is exactly what it is!!! It's a good job I love the bride as otherwise I'd tell them all to shove it!

If they can't come to some agreement then I'll have to go ahead and book something. I'm never going to please everyone.

Also I know, I know I shouldn't try to guess people income these are all young, childless professionals. Every other week one of them's in a spa or off to Paris judging by their facebook accounts!

Plan B pub crawl round town, packet of face pack from Boots and club together to get these tools to provide spa experience at home?

www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/4425650.htm

www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/4425650.htm

www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/2147545.htm

I had to organise 3 hen do's last year and it is the hardest thing - ever! You just can't please everyone, so go with what the bride wants and let everyone else get on with it.

What you have planned sounds amazing and very good value for what it is. Appreciate not everyone will be able to afford it, but hopefully the brides closest friends will make the effort and the rest can join for the meal. Good luck!

Oh one extra tip - get the money/deposits in asap. Otherwise you end up with last minute drop outs and you don't want to be covering their costs. If you break it down into 2/3 payments that still get paid up at least a month or 2 before the event, that helps.

^Sorry links not worked. But it was a facial steamer, footspa and nail buffing kit.

Ignore last tip. X post with yours!

Definitely do not pay on behalf of other people! It never ends well for the person who paid, particularly when you don't necessarily know a lot of the people that well.

I think it sounds nice. Re the date, I think you need to state that this is when the bride is free, end of discussion. I think the price is pretty good for what you're getting - speak to the bride, and if she is happy and no one else has come up with an alternative solution by x date then book it. It's all very well moaning, but if you don't come up with an alternative then it's put up or shut up.

I stayed at grange st Pauls a few weeks ago and am there for Easter weekend too. Its a great hotel.

Do you know what Capsium one of the hens owns a beauty salon so we wouldn't even need the trip to Argos!

All I wanted for my hen night was a night in a bar, somehow my friends got a bit carried away & we ended up in Barcelona for a weekend though! I literally only asked for dinner & drinks!

Thanks Rhubarb, that's exactly what I'm trying to avoid and I'm very aware that even though we all think there's loads of time, it runs out very quickly.

I stayed at grange st Pauls a few weeks ago and am there for Easter weekend too. Its a great hotel.

The Grange St Pauls is very nice. You've done well to get that price.

Grange St Paul's is lovely hotel and I've stayed there a lot (and various other Grange properties in London). It has the added bonus of One New Change shopping centre 2 mins walk round the corner too.

I should warn you though that St Paul's is NOT Covent Garden and is about a 15 min tube ride away.

I think "put up or shut up" describes the point I'm at completely.

I don't mind at all if people want to come up with alternatives, but FFS stop poking holes in my ideas and offer up something constructive!!

I'm glad to hear it's nice, the pictures looks a damn sight better than the travel lodge that's for sure!

I thought that Chatty I looked at booking direct with the hotel and it's £200 for a room. So no saving once the meal, nightclub etc are added on.

Just relaised I wasn't very clear Patrician, I know it's a tube ride away. I just meant the restaurant and bars are all in Covent Garden. I'm trying to limit travel time once we're there to cut costs and save feet! I don't think there's a spa hotel any closer to Covent Garden.