FFS, sodding hen nights!!!

[SmilingandWaving]

I'm going to rant so bear with me!!!

Friend is getting married in August.

Has requested a spa day & night out for almost 30 people in London.

I've spent a long time looking for the best deal and have come up with a night in a 5* spa hotel with use of the facilities and breakfast, 3 course meal in a fairly standard restaurant, entry into a bar/nightclub with a reserved space and 2 glasses of wine each. £150 each, and it's all in the Covent Garden area.

Personally I don't think that's unreasonable for everything that's included but that might be where I'm BU??

I appreciate that not everyone has £150 though & have said there is the option to just come to the meal or just for the evening if it's a problem.

Also the date is fixed in stone because of the brides other commitments.

I've just pitched the idea to a small group of the hens and it's been nothing but moaning about the date or the price.

So I looked up staying in a travel lodge and dinner at La Tasca with use of a hotel spa for the day, it's £100. Apparently the travel lodge isn't very nice (I also know the bride would not be happy with this!)

I don't even know where I'm going with this rant to be honest.

AIBU to think if they're not happy with the suggestions made then they can bloody well put together something for themselves & see how much it is.

Sodding hen nights!!!!

Hi OP! I have booked my hen through ChilliSauce for June- sounds like we've been offered a very similar package.

I was 100% set on NOT having a hen because I don't like a fuss and feel awkward about asking people to spend money on me. But I got talked into it- and, like you, because most of the participants are spread out, we basically have to do an overnight stay somewhere. I was adamant that I would organise it myself though- I'd feel awful asking a friend to run around sorting it for me. Horses for courses though.

I invited 14 people, and 13 of them can come (another can't afford it). Most people have said that they think we're getting a total bargain, and one of the participants has recently booked her own hen party through ChilliSauce because of this. Just give people the option and ask them to let you know. Emphasise that there is no pressure to come if the cost or date is an issue, but explain why you can't change them. Obviously everyone's circumstances are different. DP and I will spend up to £200 for a hen/ stag for a close friend or family member, but I appreciate that others may think that this is too much!

No problem Smiling but at least the others looking at it for the same thing know its not in the West End

Its a really good location for spa days at weekends as you don't really want to be paying West End prices if you don't need to particularly as they don't really add much to the experience!

Thanks Daisy.

I felt a bit like I was going mad, they were all really eager for the spa & night out idea, all happy with London. Then as soon as the price was mentioned it went a bit up in the air. I just can't work out what they were expecting it to cost, when it was first mentioned I had £200 in my head as the cost and have spent ages looking around for the best deal. I though £150 was fantastic.

I think I've been a bit fluffy about it all to be honest, I need to just say 'this is the deal, these are the prices, please let me know if you'll be coming'.

Others have agreed that the bride would not be happy with the travel lodge suggestion!

Good price for exactly what the bride wants.

If people can't afford it they won't come but enough will to make it great.

The Travel Lodge sounds shit. Don't do that.

The location was one of the things that sold me on the idea Patrician. Did you go to their bar/terrace while you were there? I imagine the view from there is lovely. I might just spend the afternoon up there drinking while they sweat it out in the sauna. I'm not actually a huge fan of spas!

Just realised the terrace area has to be hired out for use, that might bump up the price a bit!!! Oh well.

You aren't going to find an activity and accommodation for much less than that which doesn't involve meeting at somebody's house and sleeping on floors and doing something DIY and low cost like a treasure hunt (not a pub crawl - that would cost the same) however, that isn't what the bride wants and it isn't the kind of thing that everyone will want to do either.

£150 is a very good price for what's included and where it is, but the problem is that the cost of the whole weekend will end up being more like £3000 once you add in travel to and from London, any spa treatments (unless you just plan to sit about in dressing gowns all day), any additional food (lunches?) plus drinks on the night out. Personally I couldn't afford that for a hen night.
However, I think in this situation you have 2 options.

1. Reply to all the complaining hens saying this is the only date bride can do, this is what bride wants to do and this is the cheapest way I've found, so if you don't like it don't come.
2. Tell the bride that people can afford to do what she wants them to do. It's then up to the bride to go ahead with a smaller group, or choose to do something cheaper so everyone can participate.

That should say £300 not £3000!!

And option 2 should be 'tell the bride that people CAN'T afford 'etc.

Really must learn to preview my posts!

It took us just over 5 mins in a taxi to get from the hotel to the edge of Covent garden. So its not very far. What I would call nearish. I think you have a great price and if they'd expected it to be less Tha £150, they are bonkers.

Nothing helpful to add, just grateful sil just fancies us all just going for an Indian.

I wonder if part of the problem is the hen do for 30 people. As pp said, by the time you include additional travel, food etc you're talking about £300. I would spend that on a very close friend's hen do - but there is no way I know 30 people for whom I'd spend that kind of money iyswim.

So that leaves you with the option of going ahead with smaller numbers, or doing a night out close to where the majority live, putting up any out-of-town folks between you, and sorting out a much cheaper do that more can afford.

I know it's going to be more like £300 once everything is included, but I've tried to get as much as possible.

Lunch isn't included as check in is at 2pm and we check out at 11am the next morning.

There are some drinks included but then people can decide if they want to drink more.

We could add on a Turkish Hammam for £25 each but I want to give people the cheap option of sitting around if they want to. A deal including treatments id £200.

I'm going to go with option 1 for now and if enough people can't make it then we'll try option 2!

Or I might go with option 3 and abdicate all responsibility and then hide in a corner and rock!

I went to the Grange for my honeymoon. It's lovely and the spa area is really nice! From what I recall that's a pretty good price for it too.

I went on a hen do at that hotel last year,the hotel was great but the thing is for that price there are 4 people per room sharing 2 double beds. I hated it! I knew 2 of the girls but not the third and it just felt odd.

There was a travel lodge opposite which would have been better because I'd rather share with one person than 3- the spa was nice for a quick swim in the morning, but I'm not really into treatments- are they all aware that it's about 60 quid for cheapest facial. We also went to watch the dreamboys which had all the makings of a good night but was just dire!!
The best London hen do was a party cruise down the Thames and a minibus home- cost 50 quid each.
Good luck, I don't envy your job at all!

I agree that 30 people is ridiculous. There were 5 people at my hen weekend including me!

I'm not sure how close she is to the other hens, most are old uni friends that she's still in contact with. They're all up & down the country now though which makes a location pretty complicated.

The trouble is we now don't have much time left for organising other things and it's the only date the bride is free on the 2 months up to the wedding!

If you want a terrace/roof to hag out on then there is a nice bar on the roof of One New Change (across the road) that overlooks St Paul's - I think it's called Madison's. It can be a bit pricy to drink up there for a whole night but we have been up for coffee during the day and it was pretty reasonable.

We walked to Covent Garden from there too which isn't too bad if the weather is nice (to be fair I hate the tube!)

Hang, not hag. Obviously.

Eggy Thames Cruise sounds great to me.

I have double checked though & it's definitely 2 to a room.

I will check out that travel lodge opposite though.

There is a wether spoons next door to the hotel so we started with a boozy lunch there, those who had treatments had them in the afternoon and then we went out in the evening. Could you say Spa hotel and package is x amount, if you don't fancy the spa, you can stay at the travelodge opposite and we can have meet for lunch and/or dinner.

Sorry x posted!! In which case u have a great deal!
But not everyone will come and that's fine, like others said you can't please everyone, do what you think the bride will like and as long as not all elements are compulsory it'll be grand! X

Sounds like a great price for what you've got. I organised a hen last year and at some point had to just say enough is enough. Something to be cautious about, will any of the prices change if numbers drop?

That's doodle that's definitely something I'll need to check.

Just had a bit of a breakthrough & other bridesmaids are now happy with this option and we're going to let the rest of the group know.

Apparently we have use of the spa for the full day on the Sunday as well which seems to have changed some people's minds.

I'm just going to add as well, for the extra sympathy the date in question is both my husbands birthday & my first wedding anniversary so I'm not completely unsympathetic to the people complaining about the date!