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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

about my neighbour

55 replies

deliverdaniel · 25/03/2015 03:12

We live in a house converted into two flats- we are on the top and have been there nearly 4 years. Until recently the flat below was rented out on a mixture of short term and longer term leases, so in the time we have been living there there have been five different sets of people below, one for two years and the other four on short term contracts for the rest of hte time. We have never had any problems with any of these other people and have always got on well with them.

We have two DSs age 4 and 18 months. They are probably averagely noisy for kids that age - ie they sometimes cry/ run around etc. I have banned noisy toys/ music makers etc to be considerate to downstairs neighbours and try as much as possilbe to stop any particularly noisy games.

A woman has moved in downstairs- she is in her sixties. She has set up in business as an alternative healer and seems to require complete silence for this. UNDer the terms of the lease and also city by-laws she is not allowed to be running a business there, although honestly I don't care what she does in her own apartment. But she is constantly comign up and shouting at us to be quiet when the kids are playing. She yelled at my mum for talking on the stairs (normal volume.) She came up and shouted at our nanny for tenderising a chicken in the middle of the day which must have been 30 seconds max of hammering because she had a client with her.

I pick up the kids from childcare and we are home around 3.30-4pm ish and she has come up to tell me that the noise of them playing is too much for her and can they just watch television in the afternoons instead. She has also asked me to change their bedtime so they wake up later so she can have a lie in, and also to keep them in their bedrooms when they do wake up (6- 6.30am) until she wakes up. This is very hard for various reasons, they don't want to stay in their bedrooms, they are hungry and don't want to wait an hour for breakfast etc etc. AIBU to a) be annoyed about this and b) challenge her on the fact that she shouldnt' be running this business anyway from home and can't really expect me to curtail my kids normal activities so she can see do this? or am I being entitled and not understanding enough of her point of view? Would genuinely appreciate thoughts. Thank you!

OP posts:
Adarajames · 25/03/2015 13:26

If you have carpets and do try to keep noise to a reasonable level / time, then yanbu. If however you have hard floor coverings / laminate etc, then yabu as the sound echoes horribly and you need to be more considerate.

ChiwetelFan · 25/03/2015 13:44

Seriously, having had the 'joy' of a neighbour who constantly complained that we were noisy; we weren't. We event went to the length of contacting the previous tenant to triple check.

She even came and complained about the noise we'd made one Saturday night, we'd been out of the country for the weekend.....Jump on this now!

She sounds like the type that if you give an inch, she be 10 miles down the road with it.

Ours used to wait till I'd gone out to complain, because I would point out that it was normal level of noise or that it may actually be coming from one of the other neighbours, and close the door where as OH (bless him) would apologise, watch TV with the subtitles/ switch off the washing machine etc.

We ended up reporting her to her LL as a nuisance, and having had environmental health in to confirm that the noise level was normal said that the next time she did this we were reporting her to the police for harassment.

Thankfully that did it till her lease ran out.

FatherHenderson · 25/03/2015 13:47

We had a young policewoman living underneath us who gave us a list of her shifts so we knew when we were allowed to use the washin machine.

To be fair, we did try to take it into consideration as she was miles better than the drug addicts who lived downstairs before her. Love and let live and all that.

However, YANBU. Your neighbour sounds like an entitled loon.

ThingummyJigg · 25/03/2015 14:18

Take up Morris dancing. The whole family. Or tap dance. Or begin practising for your Stomp audition.

When she complains (for I sense she might) tell her "As you have banned my children from playing, we have, as a family, returned to our original love, Morris/tap/stomp. Though I'm considering ditching that in favour of reviving my career as a death metal drum teacher, with sidelines in Shit Guitar and Guttural Hoarse Bawling - whaddaya think?"

She will BEG you to get the children up at 6am and play.

PS If she is contravening laws by running a business from her flat, it might invalidate her business insurance. If you were one of her clients, how woo would you feel about that? I agree with PP - return the favour and report her. If I were having her wave crystals over me, burn incense and tell me my chakras were unaligned and I am in dire need of homeopathy, I'd want to know the loon was at least was insured in case she was ripping me off.

expatinscotland · 25/03/2015 20:26

'We had a young policewoman living underneath us who gave us a list of her shifts so we knew when we were allowed to use the washin machine.'

What if you were out working whilst she was away? Were you supposed to put your washing on hold?

It's a flat, not a library.

Had she not heard of silicon earplugs and a fan to drown out noise?

Seriously, I would pay this lunatic no mind and report her to the LL and to the council for running a business in an unlicensed location.

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