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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is taking the piss somewhat? (hen do)

76 replies

hellomylittlefishies · 24/03/2015 21:30

So my friend is having 3 hen dos. Fine, if that's what you want. I agreed to go to all 3.

The maid of honour (who is a friend of mine) has just text me saying that they are organising another surprise hen do and it will be drinks and food at the brides house.

But can we bring our own drinks and we must text her what food we are planning to bring.

Now any party I went to I would bring drinks/food or both but I kind of feel this is taking the piss now. Aibu?

OP posts:
FarFromAnyRoad · 24/03/2015 21:58

I agree with everyone and wonder what would happen if you all stopped pandering to this self-obsessed nonsense?

tarashill · 24/03/2015 21:59

What is it with these brides to be that they think they're worthy of such a big fuss. Three hen do's is just beyond ridiculous. Her demands will keep growing as long as long as everyone keeps indulging her.

Aeroflotgirl · 24/03/2015 22:00

Just say thanks but no thanks, they can plan 50 hen dos, you don't have to go to them.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 24/03/2015 22:03

My friend _ is going to be a bride.
To get me through I will need a lot of wine.

Hen do are coming in three's
Bride to be why the need

We have be friends for a while.
How could I have been in denial.

Hope your marriage will last
So I can put these hen do in the past

glittertits · 24/03/2015 22:03

I had a friend who did things like this. She didn't understand that when people turned down the invite to her birthday, it was because they didn't want to go.

She thought they were just busy, so would schedule another birthday event so that they could go. She had 6 last year. Like a mug, I went to all of them. I felt sorry for her.

Never again. I had to go no contact earlier this year for similar demands and a host of other reasons.

I wish people would learn that the only one who actually cares about the social events you are hosting is you. To anybody else it is just another night out.

Original poster
hellomylittlefishies · 24/03/2015 22:03

Any request for me to attend a hen do with a poem and a photo montage of the bride, would be met with incredulous laughter

I'm joking about the poem and photo montage! haha, though I'm sure she'd love it Grin

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 24/03/2015 22:05

Does she have room for a husband and her huge ego? Grin

Original poster
hellomylittlefishies · 24/03/2015 22:06

I also should have mentioned there was an engagement party too. But that was quite a while ago now.

Oh god she's going to be one of those people that invite me over to her after the wedding - for drinks and viewing of the professional photos.

Think I'll schedule in my smear test for then instead.

OP posts:
Original poster
hellomylittlefishies · 24/03/2015 22:07

Yanbu but it sounds like you're just going to go along with it.

I probably was for the first 3 but I honestly think I'll just decline this one.

OP posts:
cariadlet · 24/03/2015 22:13

4!!!!! I've never heard of anyone having more than 1 before. tbh I think it's bad enough when people expect their friends to pay for a weekend away as well as forking out a fortune to go to the wedding.

Weddings are a big deal for the couple getting married, but why should it cost your friends so much time and money to celebrate with you?

What happened to just going out to your local/going on a pub crawl with your mates. I'm sure that was what everybody did when I was growing up (back in the dark ages - 70s and 80s)

atonofwashing · 24/03/2015 22:14

Hello, is she having the day taped/ videos/ iPaded?
You may also be invited round to sit thru the entire event all over again, watching it on TV!

At the very least emailed with links to a YouTube upload!?

We have several CDs with weddings on them. Yawn. Who honestly cares?

I'm teasing now, best stop it. Grin

serin · 24/03/2015 22:15

God help you if she gets pregnant!

ThatCuckingFat · 24/03/2015 22:17

How is she justifying having 4 hen dos? I know she only knows about 3 but how is she even justifying 3?
I really don't get the hen do thing other than seemingly to out-do everyone who's ever had a hen do. They seem to be getting more and more extravagant and expensive.
I can understand having one but surely you can cater for everyone in just one?
E.g, go for a meal with everybody and then straight on a night out with those that are up for a night out.
YANBU. I wouldn't go to this one at all.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 24/03/2015 22:27

Oh please go to all of them and give us a running commentary. I love a bonkers wedding thread.

CunningCat · 24/03/2015 23:37

Christ on a bike! How utterly fucking tedious. One is too many imoGrin

FuckingLiability · 24/03/2015 23:40

One hen party is bad enough, Three is ludicrous.

ARoomWithoutAView · 24/03/2015 23:42

Fuck that.

GlitteryLipgloss1 · 24/03/2015 23:58

I didn't even want to go on my own hen do. But then I am a miserable bitch. Smile

emwithme · 25/03/2015 00:30

I had a "hen don't"...went out for all you can eat chinese food with half a dozen mates.

BFF is getting married this year, she's having two - one very drunken weekend away with friends, one sedate afternoon tea with MIL.

Pyjamasandwine · 25/03/2015 00:39

Didn't have a hen do, ver common.

Me and dh just got married.

I suspect the bigger the hen do and the bigger and more showy the wedding the shorter the marriage lasts.

Huge egos and a happy marriage don't mix.

Original poster
hellomylittlefishies · 25/03/2015 00:59

I suspect the bigger the hen do and the bigger and more showy the wedding the shorter the marriage lasts.

I suspect this is true too BUT .. even despite him being an absolute cock they seem like the sort of couple that as long as they're married and with someone they don't care how miserable they are.

OP posts:
CunningCat · 25/03/2015 01:08

Sounds like a match made in heaven, notGrin
Are they having a wedding wishing well Confused like on another wedding thread?

UnderTheDeepBlueSea · 25/03/2015 01:15

Dear god no. Whatever happened going down to the local pub and getting pissed with mates?! Surely there are only so many times you can talk about exes and celebrity crushes.

She'll feel empty after the wedding Grin

chrome100 · 25/03/2015 07:35

The White Road - that's not very nice. Weddings are not a bore. I care about my friends' happiness and have always enjoyed every hen do or wedding I have been to because it means something to them. And I say this as someone who has never had their own wedding or hen do and probably never will!

AlternativeTentacles · 25/03/2015 07:39

This seems very much like a 'You're not from New York City, you're from Rotherham' moment.

Is she royalty/does she think she is? 4 Hen dos indeed.

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