I have a very well-paid job that I hate. AIBU to take a less well-paid job that I might like? Trouble is, I am main breadwinner

[NotSoFortunate]

I loathe my job and my boss. I loathe the field I work in. I have no interest in what I do.
Unfortunately / fortunately I am very well paid. I am also the only salaried person in the family. DP is SAHP.
I know I am lucky to have a good salary (£100k + bonus + car).

I feel desperate but our lives have grown around the salary. AIBU to jack it in and try and find I job I might like on 50-60% of my current salary?

Jack it in. Be happy. Life is too short. Move somewhere cheaper, live differently, do it soon.

Yes. A job in the hand is worth more than a job in the bush.

Find the new job first! Do the sums, work out the changes that a drop in salary will mean, and then decide.

In principle though, you are NBU, a job you hate is soul destroying

What would the salary reduction actually mean in terms of impact? Sell up? DP has to work? Forego third foreign holiday a year?

What does DP think?

Impact would mean being careful rather than comfortable. Fewer holidays. Would not mean penury.

Yanbu. You probably spend too long at work to stay in a role that you really hate. Also, 50-60% of your current salary is still enough to live quite a comfortable life. What does your DH think?

Have not discussed it with DP yet. He isvery happy with status quo.

I'd put a timescale on it and plan for say 12m time going on the lower wage. In the meantime your dh coukd find something part or full time to make up the shortfall if you are all used to the money.
Id say the same if it was you the sahp and your dh who was unhappy at work.

Could you both work & therefore lighten the load ?
Would your job be tolerable part time ?

You need to talk with him. He may alsowant you to be happy y'know :)

I gave up a management position that i hated and was making me depressed to become a childminder.

In the process i was declared bankrupt.

Five years on I have my own CM business and am the happiest I have ever been. I feel I wasted my life in that job.

Absolutely leave. Unless you're a total fraud, to earn £100k+, you must be pretty nifty, so you should be employable! Plus, a £50k salary is still a comfortable amount to live on. Life is short - do not waste it loathing what you do for the majority of your waking time.

Well, he may be happy but does he know that you're not?

Do you know what you would like to do instead? Do you know what it would really be like, or can you find out? You don't want to leap to a new role on half the salary, only to find that you don't enjoy it any more than your current role! What is it that you dislike about your current job, exactly?

I think it's fair enough for you to consider a switch to something that will genuinely make you happier. FWIW, imagine you'll get more sympathy as a female breadwinner than a male breadwinner would in similar circumstances.

Talk to DH. Would he be prepared to work? What else could you do? Would you be happier- what about if you find you hated that job AND were hard up financially? Think of all eventualities.

Done it. Never go back

While you're deciding, trim your spending and start putting money aside. We did this when we moved out of London (we moved abroad) - for 18 months we lived on one salary and saved the other. Gave us practice at living on a lower income and a decent safety net.

Talk to your partner and start making plans.

Depends.

What would be the impact on your DP and children? Would it involve moving away from current schools/friends?

Would DP have to work and if so, would he be able to get a job that he wouldn't hate?

Do you know what you want to do instead, are you sure you'd enjoy it more, and would you be able to get that job?

It doesn't make sense for you to move to be happier at work if you would also be unhappy in the new job, or if your increased happiness is at the price of your DP or DC being made unhappy... so it depends on these questions...

DH quit his 125k job to take one paying 50 (still good in the grand scheme of things I know).

We were able to do this as we sold our London home and moved up to village in Nodthamptonshire, our mortgage is now minimal so the drop in salary is fine.

He now works 9-5, full hour for lunch, in a much more rewarding role. Our family life has changed dramatically for the better!

I am in an almost identical situation to you and similarly would love to find a new career. I'm hoping my DH can start earning some money to take the pressure off and I can then reassess in a few years. Life is short and working long hours in a job, however well paid isn't good for the soul. I do worry though about how potential employers would view someone wanting an 'easier' role. I need to think how I'd pitch that successfully.

I know a few career changers who have found the new job equally shit for less money. The grass isn't always greener! I'm in a similar position but this has made me very wary about changing direction.

Start sticking 50% of your salary on a direct debit into savings, like another poster suggested. Then talk to dh and look into what sort of life you want to have, maybe with a career advisor or something.

Do it, but make a plan first, it might take a year or two.

Absolutely not being unreasonable. Am looking to do the same.

How old are your children? How long is your dp planning to SAH? And what is your dp's earning potential?

I'd make the most of earning that kind of money and save (I'm sure you already have) just so you can enjoy life in a new job at a later stage with out having to stress about money until your dh returns to work.
But life's too short so definitely speak to dh and plan!