To get so annoyed by MIL intrusions

[trulyscrumptious33]

I am 40 weeks + 5 days and have no idea if IABU and my hormones are making me into a b*h or if I genuinely have a point.

This was probably the last weekend that DH and I could enjoy a bit of peaceful time together before our first DC arrives, so we both agreed to have a bit of a pre-babymoon from home, doing things we love to do together.

MIL has a holiday home very close to where we live and had decided to come up about 10 days ago should we need any help before or after the arrival of DC. She said she wouldn't get in the way and would let us spend quality time together whilst we await the inevitable.

So, this weekend she asked DH if he would view a house with her on Saturday as she is thinking of moving closer to us permanently, to which DH kindly obliged and was gone for most of Saturday afternoon. He comes back and said that MIL had reminded him that we had agreed to take her out for lunch the following day (we absolutely hadn't as we had planned nothing, half expecting potentially to be parents already).

In the meantime, I had come down with a horrible cold and chest/throat infection and could really have done with relaxing and trying to get over this as quickly as possible before going into labour...

I said that I would really prefer not to take her out to lunch to as I would much rather spend some quality time with DC, and as my energy levels are running rather low due to illness and late-pregnancy, I can only really do something for a few hours everyday before getting tired and didn't want to use this time entertaining said MIL. In the end he compromised by inviting her over just for a coffee at 11am.

She was here until nearly 3pm!!!! Argh!!!! Who stays for four hours after only being invited round for a coffee?! She could see I was really poorly and just needed to rest, and DH was doing a terrible job of trying to drop hints and shepherd her out. I was so pissed off for the rest of the day that I totally allowed it to spoil what I hoped would be a lovely and relaxing day with DH. We tried after she left to do a few of the things we had originally planned, which left me completely exhausted.

I am now worrying that when the baby comes along she will consistently outstay her welcome. I moaned to DH that he needs to step up and protect our precious time more. Particularly, in the days after childbirth when we will be recovering and getting used to being a family together.

AIBU to let this get to me so much?! Anyone had similar? Feeling slightly at my wits end but I realise that I may be overreacting somewhat!! Ranting about it feels like quite a relief though...

It really is up to your DH to deal with his own mother. He is worried about hurting her feelings? Then he needs to find a way to do it tactfully. If that's not possible he needs to be blunt. Your feelings come before hers at this time. He should be able to see that.

When you are a parent you have to step up and do and say lots of things to other people for the sake of your child, which, when it was just you, you may have avoided doing. It's called being grown up and responsible. He can practice on his DM ;)

By the way, it's NOT just MILs who get a bit over excited. Last year, when DD4 was 5 days old, DH had had to go back to work, i was still bleeding heavily, trying to establish BF, trying to get into a routine alone in the mornings and suffering from lack of sleep - my mum rang up and tried to insist on coming over at 9 the next morning. I told her ''no, please mum leave it till the afternoon, i'm still faffing about with trying to get clean bleeding everywhere every time i move, trying to breast feed, letting the baby nap back in her basket, maybe me nap at the same time. I don't get out of the bedroom till 10am!'' I should add - we do NOT have the sort of relationship where i would be comfortable with her in my room while all that is going on, and never have. She again demanded asked to be allowed to just come and ''sit on the bed'' When i said ''no, please leave it till after lunch'' she slammed the phone down on me! That was great for my postpartum hormonal state.

Op, have you heard of a babymoon period? Effectively, you and your partner 'go to ground' with your new baby and have a period of however long you want, with no interruptions and no hassles, purely to bond and rest... Here's a link, Babymoon with a suggested message to send out to explain gently to family and friends to stay away for a while, but google babymoon and there's plenty of info on it...

Truly you sound like one of the least bitchy DILs ever and pls don't take to heart people being mean, have some un MN ((hugs)) hope you and your LO are going ok. I definitely advise avoiding those you can on day 3, I shouted at my DH, my DM, my MIL and the midwife! Good luck, enjoy your bambino, I barely let anyone else near my now 6 month old, everyone had about a 5 minute cuddle and then I couldn't cope any longer and took him back! I am a slightly strong willed 32 yr old mind

Ignore some of the Pp. You do sound lovely!

Argh I had this with my MIL and an aunt. My dd was born on the day of my nans funeral & my aunt argued with my sister whilst there because my sister was coming to see her first. I find it disrespectful to intrude & like you, spent most my time planning on how to keep family at arms length! It stressed me out & looking back I wish i would have just chilled! Get your Dp to be firm!

Yanbu

Think you'll need to ignore the phone and not answer the door once the baby is here and if you see her, you visit her perhaps so you dictate how long the stay is.