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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

dh and gifts

32 replies

countrymusic · 23/03/2015 01:00

Dh is very keen on giving jewellery. I have so many small pendant sets that I don't want yet another one. I can just tell that on any occasion, he goes to the same shop, buys a set and gifts me. I struggle to pretend how excited I am to receive the same gift with a different design. I started hinting that I have enough variety now and may want something different next time.

After getting 2-3 more pendants, I told him things I really want to buy next. I want to buy a dog scooter, I know it doesn't have the wow factor. Better than wasting more money on teeny tiny pendants each time. His reason is that nobody gifts things that are on my list because how could he tell others what he has gifted his wife. I don't think he goes to someone and tells what he has gifted me but his reasoning is beyond me. I should be thankful for the gifts but Goldsmiths only do a limited range Grin

Would dog scooters a big no as gifts??

I can buy the scooter myself but thought my birthday is coming up, I had showed him which model I wanted to buy. But no, I got another pendant Angry

OP posts:
cariadlet · 23/03/2015 01:04

I think he is BU to keep giving the same gift as you've told him unequivocally that you don't want any more pendants.

But what on earth is a dog scooter?

nancy75 · 23/03/2015 01:08

I have to know what a dog scooter is?

Bearsinmotion · 23/03/2015 01:15

I want it to be this. Grin

nancy75 · 23/03/2015 01:19

Omg! If it's that I want one for my birthdayGrin

Original poster
countrymusic · 23/03/2015 01:20

its a kick scooter which your dog pulls. My dog will love it as I can't run fast enough with him...

www.pawtrekker.com/

OP posts:
nancy75 · 23/03/2015 01:21

Op, how big is your dog Shock

catsofa · 23/03/2015 01:23

Just give him all the pendants back and insist he gets you a dog scooter instead, it's awesome!

Paintedpinksapphires · 23/03/2015 01:24

My DH is brilliant with presents, but in over 20 years together I'm fairly sure he has never had anyone ask what he had got me for a present. Why on earth would anyone else even care?

You may need to be blunt with your DH. No pendants, clearly he isn't buying then for your benefit.

cariadlet · 23/03/2015 01:28

its a kick scooter which your dog pulls. My dog will love it as I can't run fast enough with him...
www.pawtrekker.com/

That looks such fun - for you and the dog (I'm assuming you've got a big, strong dog). Way better than a pendant.

Original poster
countrymusic · 23/03/2015 01:34

nancy, my dog is medium size but is strong enough to pull my weight.

Yes it pisses me off, its a false argument, I don't know what other people gift their spouses. My husband seems to have his own list of what qualifies as a gift in his stupid head. I don't think I can be more clear than I have already been. Not like I'm asking for a toilet brush! Grin

OP posts:
softlysoftly · 23/03/2015 01:40

He's actually being very thoughtless and selfish. If you've stated clearly enough now and he continued then it's no longer a gift.

Tell him straight!

Original poster
countrymusic · 23/03/2015 01:54

I know, can't moan about it in RL. Its such a silly thing, I'm trying to take it lightly but it kills the joy of receiving a present.

I'll buy the scooter myself for now to save some dignity! I have a big list of random stuff that I'll try next time.

OP posts:
Redcliff · 23/03/2015 01:56

That is a frigging great dog scooter - I didn't even know they were a thing.

textfan · 23/03/2015 01:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

butterfliesinmytummy · 23/03/2015 02:03

I want a dog scooter now Grin

Annabannbobanna · 23/03/2015 03:14

That is the most amazing thing ever! I need one and I only have cats.

purplemurple1 · 23/03/2015 03:43

Yanbu in fact i think you are being to resonable id return or sell the pendents and as pp said buy him something like cuffllinks for every prrsent

Enjoy the scoter we have an ice version with a toddler seat its great fun.

Qwebec · 23/03/2015 03:54

Hmmmm, I was told dogs should not carry more than 10% of it's weight even if it is string enough to do it bc it can cause long term damage to it's body. How about riding a bike with the dong running beside?

Ask your DH for the bill and return the pendant? Or how about a gift that he would like giving and you recieving? New coat, shoes, dress, undies?

Recieving unwanted gifts is unpleasant.

icclemunchy · 23/03/2015 04:28

It's much much easier to pull weight than carry it. A quick google suggests two-three times the dogs body weight isn't unreasonable once he's conditioned to it.

I think you need to be more blunt with him OP. Tell him you love the sets you've got bit you can only wear one at a time and you'd like this for your next gift

textfan · 23/03/2015 07:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
countrymusic · 23/03/2015 09:04

Brilliant! Never occurred to me to return the favour. He would not tire of adding new cufflinks to his collection. Need to pick something that usually people don't keep changing every so often and is slightly expensive to be sitting in drawers. Im thinking I'll buy him a watch each time as it qualifies as a lovely gift. And lets see how many watches before he doesn't want a watch on every occasion Bwahahahahaha [oh wait what if he is watch hoarder]

Qwebec - with correct harness, proper/slow training and lots of water, it should be fine. I'll be kicking the scooter in between too, not just stand on it to be pulled.

OP posts:
Ragwort · 23/03/2015 09:09

I just think you've got to be really blunt - my DH & I no longer buy each other gifts because we never get it quite right - we prefer to buy something for the house or have a 'treat' like theatre tickets/dinner out.

Can't you say something like 'thank you, it's very nice but I've already got X pedants (and show him) - I will be taking this back for an exchange'.

Not sure if you can exchange jewellery but if you can take it back and exchange it for something for him Grin.

GoooRooo · 23/03/2015 09:15

I would like your DH please.

Mine is the worst gift giver ever.

Previous gifts have included microwaveable slippers and a Jim'll Fix It soap on a rope (pre-abuse allegations, but still).

Give me a Goldsmith's pendant any day.

I know I am an ungrateful wife. I now do a massive wish list and email it to him and hope he sticks to something on the list.

Original poster
countrymusic · 23/03/2015 09:25

I know its a pointless battle but I want him to get the message of buying gift for me, not his false sense of feeling good about the gift.

If I return his pendants, he feels bad as he chose this new piece of jewellery after spending 30mins looking for a new design. Also, there is the surprised look on why I would refuse diamond gifts, they are sold with 'girls best friend' promise.

I would consider gifts as the senders' choice ultimately and not command what gifts I want - where is the charm in getting it this way. I don't want to exchange/return on his behalf.

OP posts:
Original poster
countrymusic · 23/03/2015 09:36

At least you get some variety GoooRooo. You don't know if he will get you Lakeland microwave splatter guard next so there is an element of surprise in his gifts.

OP posts:
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