Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I've just found out my husband is on steroids!!!

66 replies

Goingoutofmymindddd · 22/03/2015 19:51

Have name changed as so humiliated and people in RL know my username.
I don't know what to do?!
He has always been a fitness fanatic and gym bunny, fad diets, healthy eating etc. in the past I have known he has taken certain things, testosterone boosters etc. and whilst I might not have agreed, it was all legitimate and above board (bought on Amazon).
We have had arguments in the past about steroids, I have questioned if he was taking anything else, he always denied it, said he would tell me! I always told him, it's his body, his decision... I would definitely disapprove of him taking steroids, but would keep my mouth shut so long as it didn't affect me or our family. He promised he would tell me.
Well today, I was washing his work clothes and an empty pill packet fell out of his pocket. I can't remember the name but I googled it and it was a post-cycle drug that bodybuilders use when they're finishing a steroid cycle & something to do with testosterone and oestrogen levels. I questioned him.. He told me he had no idea what it was. Then he said it was from a long time ago, had no idea why it was in his pocket, but he didn't ever remember taking it and that it must have been after he took those testosterone boosters.
Well it didn't sit right with me, I got upset. Argument ensued but he was very apologetic, cuddly, loving, told me he would always tell me.
I feel so stupid, I believed him!!!!!
I put the baby to bed, and prepped dinner, things going round in my head. The more I thought about it, the less sense it made. If it had been from ages ago, then why was it in his pocket now? Also, how on earth can he not remember taking it?
I told him after dinner that I was going out of my mind and couldn't just drop it, something wasn't right and I knew it. He got defensive, I told him there wouldn't be an issue if he had taken anything just tell me so I can stop feeling like a psychotic idiot!
he swore on our 18month old sons life that he had never taken any steroids. I told him that I wanted to go and look in his work van, everything in my body was telling me to go and look, but I said I didn't want to because I wanted to believe him and I was scared of what I might find.
He could have told me then!
But no, he said go look.
So I did!
I feel like such an idiot!!!!! When I came back inside, his face said it all. I am so angry that I didn't even get angry. I asked why, he said he didn't want to feel like a disappointment to his wife. I said but you'd rather feel like a lying c*nt?! I'm upstairs in the spare room, couldn't bare to look at him or hear another lie come come out of his mouth.
please tell me I'm not being unreasonable to be beyond livid, I'm so angry I can't breathe properly, hyperventilating, feel like I'm going to explode.
Somebody please, tell me what to do?!

OP posts:
Goingoutofmymindddd · 23/03/2015 09:37

To those of you who believe it is available on Amazon, it is not! Products on Amazon called Anavar may be available, but they aren't oxandrolone they are simply using the nickname name of a well known steroid. Anavar is oxandrolone, an anabolic steroid, which is not available to buy in the U.K., only via prescription.

Thank you to everyone who has posted, sorry I didn't read them yesterday as I went downstairs to have a talk with him.
Basically he has said that I put him on a pedestal, and he loved that I was so proud of him and looked up to him. So that is the reason why he didn't tell me, because he couldn't bare for me to be disappointed in him. When he said it last night, I sucked it up and believed him, but having slept on it, I suspect that may also be a lie, and agree with pp that if he was worried about my disappointment then he wouldn't have done it... And the truth being that he couldn't be bothered with the ball ache of telling me.
He also confessed that 6 months ago he took a course of Dianabol, another anabolic steroid. They're both oral, and have no doubts that he's lying when he says he'd never inject, as I know he hates needles. To be honest, I'm not really that fussed about the steroid taking. It's the lies. And looking back, things have been slotting into place... We went through a rough patch 6 months ago, constantly arguing. He's short tempered at the best of times, but it makes sense to me now knowing that this would have been when he was taking Dianabol.
We did kiss and make up last night, he apologised profusely and said he would never lie to me again. But how am I supposed to believe that? I really want to move on from this but I'm shattered by it, and can't get past him lying on my sons life.

OP posts:
Goingoutofmymindddd · 23/03/2015 09:41

He has always been fascinated by steroids, the capability of the human body and amazed by their effects. I asked why he wanted to do it, and that was his reason. I'm not sure about body dysmorphia or bigorexia. He only started taking them a week ago so not concerned with long term usage. My worry, which I voiced to him, is where does it end?

OP posts:
ahbollocks · 23/03/2015 09:43

My ex took them too, I find its a culture of the gym they go to their friends etc.
Google 'roid rage' that affected my ex and it was fucking scary, I would never have a child around soonone on steroids because they can lose it like a wild animal.
Not to mention the eventual impotence too.

GingerCuddleMonster · 23/03/2015 09:53

going I don't think this will fix itself overnight, really sorry to hear you also believe this to be true. Think your just going to have to try to work through it and possibly inform him more, more information of tinternet, discuss it at length.
With regards to the lies I don't really know what you can do here, if your never going to believe him again it's going to cause a massive issue Sad.

AnyFucker · 23/03/2015 09:58

has he agreed to never take steroids again ?

kriegar · 27/10/2016 23:33

This may get me a bit of flak however it angers me when narrow minded people like this over react about something they know nothing.

Steroids get a bad rap, however if they are taken in moderation they actually have more positive effects than negative, the same drugs are prescribed to men with naturally low testosterone when they get older.

Obviously he shouldn't have lied to you however he will have known you would have reacted in this way and will have thought it would be easier for everyone if you just didn't know. Some may see this as immortal and wrong however he is doing this to his own body.

The fact you caught him with PCT pills also points to the fact that he will probably be doing a proper cycle and has thought it through. Anavar is also a very safe steroid which he will more than likely be taking with a testosterone base, which again is a relatively safe steroid considering it's exactly what your body already produces naturally.

The reason steroids get a bad reputation is because of competing athletes taking massive amounts of harsh steroids like tren and HGH. However I would argue that anything taken in excess is bad for you. If you were to do the equivalent with alcohol it could result in death...

I think you need to focus on why he lied to you rather than the thing he lied about as I think that's the real problem here. If he feels he can't talk to you then there may be a deeper routed issue there.

maras2 · 28/10/2016 01:17

ODFOD with your ZOMBIE post.Why resurrect this when it could only upset OP.Go to another site where roid abusers lurk you weirdo Angry

justilou · 28/10/2016 11:00

My husband works in professional sport and has been repeatedly warning everyone about the crap that is available on amazon. It is not necessarily legal, there is no quality control and one of the reasons you need to see a doctor for legal steroid prescriptions is because you need to rule out medical and pharmaceutical contraindications and continue medical monitoring for side-effects. (Including sexual dysfunction, aggression, personality changes and heart function among other things).
The lying is one (really, really big) issue - and could also be a medical side-effect (as steroid abusers tend to lose empathy). Putting his physical and mental health at risk is another.
Btw - could this gym/body obsession be a symptom of another mental health issue?
I'd be booking him into a clinic as soon as possible to get this looked at from a medical point or view.

Mynestisfullofempty · 28/10/2016 11:07

justilou look at the date of the OP, or the post before yours.

KaitB · 20/08/2020 06:12

So I know I’m super late to this post, 5 years to be exact but I’m in the exact same situation and need help. What did you do? He just keeps denying and the way I found the vials I can’t confront him because I’m wrong and I’m not proud of it. when I’ve asked in the past he denies and gets sooooo defensive saying he’s worked so hard for where he is and he’s upset if even think to accuse him of using. I had to do what I did because I saw no other way to get to the truth. Please help , I’m at my wits end

Jazzybeats · 20/08/2020 06:52

PP’s have already made the point on the lies. There’s more to the underlying reasons and challenges of steroid use, though. For most folks most of the time - it results in a “rented physique”. If you don’t keep up the cycles, you don’t keep the results in the long run.

It’s also very expensive. A few hundred quid a day? Not sure in the UK but in the US a course of anabolics plus all the ancillary drugs can cost in the thousands for one cycle. Where is he getting the cash from?

Jazzybeats · 20/08/2020 06:52

Ah fuck zombie thread.

aToadOnTheWhole · 20/08/2020 07:26

@KaitB

So I know I’m super late to this post, 5 years to be exact but I’m in the exact same situation and need help. What did you do? He just keeps denying and the way I found the vials I can’t confront him because I’m wrong and I’m not proud of it. when I’ve asked in the past he denies and gets sooooo defensive saying he’s worked so hard for where he is and he’s upset if even think to accuse him of using. I had to do what I did because I saw no other way to get to the truth. Please help , I’m at my wits end
You need to start a thread of your own in order to get some answers specific to you and your situation.
FippertyGibbett · 20/08/2020 07:46

I despise lies, I’d be out of that relationship now.

FippertyGibbett · 20/08/2020 07:47

Well, I hope she is by now 🤣🤣

Lastdayofsummer · 20/08/2020 08:05

Yanbu

I have a prescription for steroid drops due to having problems with my chest. IMO these should only be taken for health problems not recreationally, my husband is into fitness and has protein shakes etc, but if I found him taking steroids I would be worried and have words to that effect.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page