To think I should have known World War 3 would have broken out!

[WomenVsbarbie]

This relates to this thread earlier. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2337778-To-buy-my-child-an-e-cigarette

Anyway I spoke to my dss ad dd and they have admitted to smoking on a regular basis. . They are know going to receive no pocket money from us and we will be paying and taking control of their finances from now on. They will be put on nicquitine gum if they want help quiting.

Anyway world war 3 broke out as it was ds (twin to dd) that told be about smoking. They have ganged up on ds because they realised it was him who told me. Anyway after teenage abuse has been thrown about and tantrums and strops by all people. Dss who already clashes with ds, has been quite nasty to ds (who I have told not to respond). Dd has been just as nasty and a bit of a brat.

The nail in the coffin was Dp coming back home (from day out with younger dc) backing dss up. Like seriously he's verbally abused my son, who did the right thing telling me about a health damaging addiction.

I need . So their are many people being unreasonable. Dd, dss and dh.

My partner never verbally abused my son dss did though. I feel really lonely. Dh has been shit and not supported me

Ahhhh - I misread it as your partner had also abused your son.

I guess it just being dss (and dd) is slightly better. But you and your partner need to agree what is done now. If your partner won't agree and implement a sanction for the abuse then you need to accept that he thinks your ds being abused is acceptable. And decide if that is ok. How are you punishing your dd for verbally abusing your ds?

Dh said to me he will punish dss. But he never follows through with it. He can punish all the other kids but not dss.

I'm not eating or cooking for Dss until he apologises to me and ds

Would you care to rephrase that?

I read I am not eating or cooking DSS until he apologises....

Now that really is well into Wicked Stepmother territory - a delayed threat and a no win situation, all in one

I hope you get this sorted. Your DH needs to step up, good luck.

Noamama Yes and no it's not being evil to demand an apology for being called a "fucking bitch" and for my son being verbally abused far worse than me. I don't think I am being unreasonable to not cook for someone who calls me a "fucking bitch".

I think you may have misread my misreading of your post....

I am not eating or cooking DSS until he apologises...

There is a missing word... for... and now I am sorry I posted at all, as I have inadvertently made you more naggled than you were.

Sorry!

Oh sorry silly me

Shades of Hansel and Gretel!

Op I don't blame you for refusing to cook for him until he apologises. What's your oh doing about this?

Dh is useless at punishing dss. Why do dads never punish their dc. It happens time and time again on mums net

Tell them that nobody needed to tell on them at all, they stink, smokers smell of smoke.

Your DS has done nothing wrong, there are some things that shouldn't be kept quiet and if your smoker children were so sure of their right in smoking your money, they would not have hidden it from you.

Totally agree with not doing anything for anybody who calls you names like that, it's disgusting.

Thanks lying

Are twins also your DH's? If yes, he needs to start treating them equally. If not, LTB. You're better off without him.
My first LTB... Unbelievable.

The twins are not dh and leave dh over this no way.

But isn't this just one in a long line of similar incidents where dss wants are placed above your DTs or even younger dc.

Not placed over just not dealt with by dh

Sorry if it's being mentioned but how old are the teens? 14 would be totally different to 19?

Also I don't like the concept of one family member almost shit stirring for another.

Smoking isn't great but most teens try it and then grow past it.

It's not worth WW3 really is it.

That aside definatly don't fund it, definatly don't put up with swearing or abuse.

However it seems to me here that the smoking is a secondary issue to try one of family trust/support and respect for each other.

Their 15

Oh for gods sake of course she's not going to leave her family unit over this. Ffs. Some people.

Op yes don't cook until he apologises no way.

Thanks pyjamas

I saw this thread earlier and forgot to post.

Do not let your child suffer because your dh needs to grow some.

I'm seriously hoping that if you haven't had an apology ypu did not make your dss dinner.

Sounds like your ganging up on dss with your Ds. In my opinion you have previous at excluding dss this is probably the same.

It's always dss fault. What has your Ds done?

Thanks queen I'm not responding to choc

I haven't read TFT but read the first one. I still don't understand why you felt the need to go in all guns blazing and trying to get them to vape. I also think you said you would tell dss mum not to give him any money but it didn't seem that you had discussed this first.

Seems that you went ahead without discussing your actions with anyone except mumsnet and gave your kids an ultimatum - what did you think would happen? It was pretty obvious.

Of course it's not OK to call you names but if i were your dh I'd be pretty annoyed at all this hassle because you went off half cocked.