to worry that this isn't normal for a nearly three year old

[deeedeee]

I can't leave my nearly three year old on her own at any point as she will

• spill any drink on any surface
• put anything she finds in her mouth
• take the soil out of plant pots and throw all over floor

She won't eat without smearing food all over herself and all over everything around her

I can wear necklaces, any jewellery as she trys to eat it, rips it off me

If I give her pens, paints, she just eats them.

Constantly refuses to walk or runs away.

bites me and other children.

Her brother has disabilities and at nearly six has the motor skills of a 2 year old. I think she has been affected too :-(

or am I over reacting and these things are normal?

What does the health visitor say? She'd be my first port of call if I had concerns

have you been to the doctors about the possibility of pica? i have no experience of children with SN but my neighbour's daughter has pica and the behaviour sounds similar x

Health visitor has referred her to physic and SLT. Didn't mention pica. That's an interesting avenue to think of :-(

My just turned 4 year old is yet to be allowed anything small left in her room as she puts everything in her mouth. She's only just stopping....but has put fluff off the floor, candles, pencils, blu Tak, stones in her mouth. She's also been the one that if I left her alone for two minutes would draw on a wall or tip something over. I don't think she's being naughty she just seems to take longer to learn.

On the other hand my other daughter never did any of this so I also wondered if there was an underlying cause.

But she has just turned 4 and does seem to be calming down. I do know she is a lot worse if she is even slightly tired.

I think you need to see a GP or HV to get her assessed.

This doesn't sound typical for a child this age. I would go to your gp or mention it to your ds's consultant to ask if she needs to be assessed for the same or a similar condition.

Are your sons disabilities genetic?

Tbh my ds did alot of that at 3. Totally different to my older dd who had table manners so great, she could make the queen look like a slob. Brought up the same, but ds seems further behind in these things. But further ahead in other things.

Yanbu to be worried, especially because your ds has disabilities. I would speak to your doctor and see what they say. If its nothing, at least your mind will be at rest.

how is her speech? and her fine motor skills? Was she late walking?

Other than the spilling drink, I don't think the other things are typical behaviour of a nearly 3yo. A 1yr old, yes, but not 3. I would also be seeking the advice of an Hv like other posters.

she's managing 2 or 3 word sentences. Her fine motor skills aren't great

not massively late walking, 18 months. not as late as my son at 22 months

yes my son;s disabilities are thought to be genetic, but are largely undiagnosed. We have a working diagnosis of Developmental Coordination Disorder and he gets full time one to one at school and full DLA etc

Tiredness has a huge effect on them both.

Sounds like some input could really help with her speech and motor skills.

Sentences are great :)

I would ask for referral to a paediatrician not just physio and SLT

och i'm just so fed up of it all

had years of therapies with her brothers and it's made no difference

I'm so tired of all this.

I feel like I have a baby and a toddler when I have a 3 year old and a xix year old and life should be starting to be a bit easier

I know it's hard.

But it probably has helped her brother . It is worth the slog.

I do hear you though. People say on here the toddler stage is hardest. We have been in it for 6 years and probably always will be in it.

Yes it does sound like you should push to have her assessed as the behaviours you listed aren't developmentally expected at her age. I would ask for an assessment for autism from what you have listed (sorry it sounds awful writing that and not ...I'm sure it's all fine). Take a look at the literature for the Verbal Behaviour Approach or Pivitol Response Treatment (the evidence for improvement of skills and language is strong). There are also a couple of charities that fund. Very best of luck xxxxx

I wouldn't necessarily assume ASD from that list.

*not assumed but worth asking about during visit to your paediatrician. X

Yes. A general developmental assessment needed

are her behaviours similar to that of your ds? if so, could she be mimicking him? in a learning and copying way opposed to on a nasty way?

yes get her assesed but, my 7 year old has issues with cups and spillages still, my 2 year old is more careful! Mine also tipped soil out and ripped flower heads off until 3/4, smeared paint all over, and anything else she could get hands on, and was a nightare to walk anywhere, but no issues.

its always better as I am sure you know to find out issues as soon as you can.

no i don't think she's copying him.

they hate each other, constantly fighting, screaming and hurting each other

I wouldn't have thought ASD from what you've said.. Sensory issues spring to mind and she sounds impulsive? Neither of these would immediately flag ASD to me.

How is her language?

(My DS is diagnosed with ASD.)

Does any of this ring bells?
www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processing-disorder-checklist.html

This might be worth going through too:
www.whatdotheyknow.com/request/202724/response/508346/attach/html/3/IAELD%20interactive%20final.pdf.html