People accused of sex crimes shouldn't be given anonymity

[GallicGarlic]

I am positively astonished that, as they face sex crime allegations, MPs say sex crime suspects deserve anonymity.

This will mean no e-fit pictures of suspects, no CCTV releases, no calls for other victims to come forward. AIBU to think this is jolly convenient for serial perpetrators? And to ask you to sign a petition?

Yeah I wouldn't have stopped under those circs, I'd have got somewhere there were other people around if poss.

I think that sort of thing is highly intimidating personally and while many women and girls wouldn't report it (don't make a fuss) that sort of thing is illegal and if you tell the police they should listen and record it. IMO.

We have had police on here as well though saying women shouldn't report stuff as if they did the police wouldn't have time to deal with anything else.

Nomama, i'll clarify. I have a fantastic dad (and mum) who taught me not to be 'ladylike' to fight back and shout and whatever.

That did bugger all when i was at a house party and three men i kind of knew got me alone and raped me. knowing that you should be fighting and shouting and screaming doesnt help when you freeze, it just makes you feel worse for not fighting.

So yes, i will protest when someone says "i've never put up and shut up, my dad taught me better"

Pilchard, when I told me mum she said "well you shouldn't walk around late at night". So curbing my ability to walk to the shop to get wine is fine, but actually stopping the people who commit these crimes is a problem!

YY that's exactly it Jessica.

Beyond, so sorry that happened to you. Just ignore people like Nomama who are happy to blame anyone (be it victim, victim's parents) whilst protecting the rights of those accused of rape. They live in a nice little world where "that'll never happen to me". They have no idea how lucky they are.

Thanks jessica, im okay

Just wanted to explain to nomama why i thought it was an inappropriate thing to say.

I know the Met has many corrupt officers

But by blaming the police and talking about police cover ups it distracts from where these orders came from

I am sure a few ex officers are going to be charged are they then hoping this will stop further investigations they are an easy scapegoat and I am sure much emphasis will be put on reports that were not followed due to police failings to deal with such matters (which at times is certainly true) rather then things being taken out of their hands or pressure to drop cases

And children.

Remember the circs here, it is male children who are the main victim group in the investigations that are underway (as far as I know).

I don't know if that makes any difference to the people who mainly support this because they think that older girls and women are frequently vindictive liars.

I was sexually assaulted as a child, by a family member a few months before said family member turned 18. I was 13 years old. I was wearing tracksuit bottoms, trainers and an XL mens hoodie. Seriously? Has shit all to do with how well your dad, mum or next door neighbors cat teaches you,fuck off with victim blaming

Ah! Yes. Nomama the misogynist. That has been thrown at me here a lot.

Lots of assumptions have been made about me. I made the mistake a while ago of explaining here how I had been raped in my teens, by a friend. And how I had gone to the police, named him, pointed him out in a line up, stood up and explained how it had happened, in court. My then bf is now my DH of almost 30 years.

Apparently explaining that then meant that I have spent the last 30 some odd years in denial! Not that I was brought up to be a strong independent woman - by my dad - and whilst a terrible thing had happened I refused then (as I do now) to allow that one terrifying incident to shape my whole life.

Quite the opposite. I have some really good news for rape victims. If you choose to you can get over it, you can put it into a perspective that allows you to live without being constantly in fear of all men. You have to want to, to work at it, to have a good support group. But it is possible.

But don't expect anyone to believe you! Apparently such recovery is impossible!

That's fine, Ugh... you just carry on the trend of not actually reading what was posted, go with the edited highlights instead!

I'm as 'over' it as im going to get, im glad you are. But that doesnt respond to what i (or others) said. In fact, your dad didnt stop it for you, which is what your first post implied.

I don't understand, Nomama. Are you saying you married your rapist?

If you choose to you can get over it, you can put it into a perspective that allows you to live without being constantly in fear of all men.

It's slightly idiotic to assume that no other rape survivors do this. Of course we do, how else do you think 20% of women get on with their days?

A teacher friend was accused of inappropriate behavior by an underage girl. Police were involved, he was suspended from work. Months later the girl had done it to get revenge on him for giving her detention.

The other parents signed petitions to the head along the lines of "no smoke without fire" and he was made redundant. Ended up having a nervous breakdown.

*it turned out

I've not read the thread, so am going back to the original question, but I have very strong views on this - NOBODY should be named until they are convicted.

You could even go as far to say until appeal procedures have been exhausted, but they can take years.

But if you name someone when they have only been arrested, they could be innocent. It doesn't matter what the crime is. Imagine being arrested wrongly for something like shoplifting and being named in the press. You are then either not charged or not found guilty. Yet your name is still all over the internet if someone does a search on you. I am nosy, if I am recruiting, I google the candidates. Will people be bright enough to work you that you were not found guilty? Not all the time. There are loads of people who believe the no smoke without fire argument.

In Germany they manage quite well just saying something like Peter H or Lucy W before conviction.

I'm a bit confused as well. I said that sex crimes were common, and that many of my friends had been assaulted. You said that in no way bore any resemblance to your life, which led me to believe that you were saying that you didn't think these things were particularly common.

If you have been assaulted yourself then surely you know that this stuff happens, so I'm not sure what your original point was.

Is it that you say yes this stuff goes on all the time but it should always be reported? But when people have tried that the police have told them to sod off. They would have laughed at my friend, they weren't interested in what happened to Jessica. It is well known that the police for years have failed victims of sex crimes, in vast numbers. So I'm not sure what you're saying? That victims should fight to be heard? That's great if you feel up to it but not everybody does, and disenfranchised young people often have real trouble getting anyone to listen to them. It's not their fault people don't listen, it's the fault of the authorities fault for not behaving as they should.

Fickle, I know I'm on a repeat loop here, but hundreds of times MORE people have their lives turned upside-down by being sexually abused, than by being wrongly accused.

Now, the one thing doesn't make the other right. If sexual abuse was wiped out, neither thing would happen.

But criminal investigations can severely disrupt lives, even the lives of the innocent. There's no sensible way to conduct an investigation without that risk.

Do you mean that he taught you not to trust any man in the family, incl himself? Or your bf? Did he taught you not to trust friends either?

That was in response to this stupid comment.

And no, I didn't marry my rapist. Why can't people here read?

I was raped by a friend. My bf of the time never once doubted me, blamed me or questioned the fact that I had not 'asked for it'. And now, 30 years on, we are happily married and none of what happened then has any impact on who we are/ I am now!

I say that as I am sick to death of the negative threads with the consensus being that women cannot be strong individuals, all the bemoaning that men are such bastards. None of that is ever questioned or qualified. No, don't question that 'truism', rather find a woman who does not agree that it is right to constantly reinforce the weak woman myth by writing such posts.... have at the woman who quite simply does not follow the script.

A woman who has had as shit a start as many others and has chosen to say fuck that! It will not define me!

Go on... keep going.... for example ...20%???

And in this case of course the police were almost certainly actively involved in the cover-up. Some of the children ended up dead, although whether it was murder / who knew about it is yet to be investigated.

It's not a case of being "negative". This is all stuff that has actually happened, we know it's the tip of the iceberg and due to the way powerful people protect each other I doubt we will ever know everything that went on.