To wonder if i'm from a different planet

[cleanmyhouse]

Just that really. I think i might be in the wrong place.

• am a (happily) single mum
•have no grief with my ex
•live on the 7th floor of a council high rise so don't need to build a 6 foot fence or get bamboo
•earn £21k a year and have no chance of buying a house because a mortgage in this city is way out of my league
•no car so no parking issues
•can't afford a holiday
•have a distant, but friendly enough relationship with my MIL
•sent the ds's to a local state school
•never hired a tutor
•no guest room to decorate
•drink full sugar fizzy pop and don't eat enough fruit
•can't feed my family of 3 on £30 a week •have no weddings to attend this year

Should i just fuck of dear?

I can't wear regular jeans with zips and buttons due to CS scar discomfort so I am one of the tunic and legging outcasts.

buzzard Don't say the M word! They will come a flocking with tales of disappointment and disaster. Nobody has fun on that day don't you know!

Oh yes, I had blanked the tragedy of Mother's Day from my memory.

Why this morning?!

and who are you?

Dear Mumsnet

I don't care.

Love Lois

This morning when I posted!

(I can't believe you forgotten me. I'll never forget the waffles done in the toaster in the bedroom conversation. It's one of the few that really made sense to me).

Loo brushes; Satan's germ infested swizzle stick or useful household item?

Showers; twice a day or fuck knows what the alternative is, death? Banishment?

Are your kids called Kasie-Mae & Kristofur-Barri? They don't take kindly to you people around here.

I don't even have children. Or want them.>

You must be irritated or annoyed about something. Like do you reserve a table when in a cafe before you get your food.

My mum gave me a loo brush. A nice teal to match the bathmat she gave me. I dutifully use it. I religiously refil the container with detol. It's probably the cleanest thing in my house.

Showers; every second day unless I have a gentleman caller.

My kids have pretty normal names, the kind that don't sound like your eccentric uncle.

The only thing I'm particularly irritated about today is that theres a massive pile of clean laundry in my bedroom and it's still there every time I go and look.

Oh I know now

Memory is appalling!

Oh yes and I wash my underwear with the rest of my clothes

Doesn't everybody?

Except for that guy with the massive sock collection, was that in Relationships? That was definitely an LTB situation.

you said "fuck of dear" instead of "fuck off
you seem ok to me

I don't smoke, don't drink and don't have a tattoo. but I'm staying!

Well obviously that's because I was asking whether you thought I should fuck someone called 'of dear'. Do you know him? Lovely chap.

Or maybe I meant should I fuck someone who was of dear. I'm not sure what that means.

Or maybe I made a massive faux pas and should be banished from MN FOREVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Barbarian It's spaghetti Bolognaise. If two scrappy bits of meat are on the plate, call it Bulked up with Veg spaghetti.

You don't need half a cow on your plate per sitting

I eat, buy and do a lot of things I don't need to eat, buy or do. How miserable would life be if we just did what was needed.

I don't conform to Planet MN laws.

I have two of the dreaded toilet brushes, one upstairs in the bathroom and one beside my downstairs toilet.

I am comfortable in M & S clothes and don't care what others think.

I don't flounce off on a spa weekend at every disagreement with hubby.

I think that the "MN Magic Chicken" is a special and particularly rare breed of bird. I think this must be the case because I have never come across one I could feed 20 or so people for at least a week with.

I walk through m&s every day on my way to work. i find myself quite fancying some of the dresses.

i need to know about the man with the massive sock collection.

I didn't see the one about the massive sock collection either.

Told you that I am not from Planet MN.

Proof if ever it was needed.

The massive sock collection - is it a really extension collection of normal sized socks, or a collection of very large socks?