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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To resent prep school taking credit for tutored children?

55 replies

Bazelle · 21/03/2015 16:47

just saying. It was my choice to hire an excellent tutor and I don't regret it but now I know that our prep school will add this new super selective on their leavers destination, and it annoys me. I feel bad about feeling annoyed though IYSWIM!

OP posts:
LIZS · 21/03/2015 17:15

More fool you ! Your choice to do so , but if the school were dong what you paid them to it wouldn't be necessary . Having said that dc prep turned a blind eye to tutoring and extracurricular support for cocurricular awards but still claimed the credit.

TeenAndTween · 21/03/2015 17:15

YANBU

(Mind you if I paid for a prep school I'd be pretty cross at also having to shell out for a tutor!)

JemimaPuddlePop · 21/03/2015 17:16

What the pp's said...i'd be more annoyed at paying for education and them still needing a tutor tbh.

niceandwarm · 21/03/2015 17:20

YABVU. Children in all sorts of schools are tutored and obtain places in super selective schools. Most schools will also name the leavers destination and so 'take credit'.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 21/03/2015 17:21

Says a lot about a prep school that you had to shell out yet more money for a tutor.

CruCru · 21/03/2015 17:22

Aren't loads of kids at prep schools tutored? I went to one where the headmistress said that 23 out of 26 were tutored.

Tanith · 21/03/2015 17:41

Did you need to hire a tutor?
With a good prep, you don't need one and it can even prejudice your chances at some schools.

I think YABU. Of course the prep will give leavers destinations in the same way as a state school will revel in their Outstanding status and SATS results even though many of the kids have been tutored.

threegoingonthirty · 21/03/2015 17:46

Everyone assumes that most kids ay most prep schools are tutored for the 11+ so I wouldn't stress about it.

niceandwarm · 21/03/2015 17:50

Many state school kids I know have also been tutored to get into grammar schools or selective private schools of their choice.

Nolim · 21/03/2015 17:50

The school is reporting factual information. They cannot remove from the leavers destinstion those kids who were tutored, how would that work?

funnyossity · 21/03/2015 17:53

It's the same with some state schools too, if that's any consolation.

ILovePud · 21/03/2015 18:17

I get what you mean, my DC go to a high performing state primary but I'd say a majority of kids have tutors or do Kumon, it does make it harder to judge how much added value comes from the school and how much comes from the top ups.

ApocalypseThen · 21/03/2015 18:32

What if the tutor takes credit for the work of the school? It'll be impossible to work out what bit of credit is due where.

Nolim · 21/03/2015 18:40

It is impossible to work out credit due. Yo cannot say that someone got a place at x school 40% because of the tutor, 40% because of the school and 20% because of the pupil.

ShouldIworryornothelp · 21/03/2015 18:41

Yabvu you do realise overly tutored children struggle at grammar schools don't you?

Cantbelievethisishappening · 21/03/2015 18:44

Why pay for prep school if you also need to pay for a tutor. Defeats the whole purpose surely. So much for selective education Hmm

ThroughThickandThin · 21/03/2015 18:47

Yabu.

Prep schools post leavers destination schools. They shouldn't have to leave out your child.

Original poster
Bazelle · 21/03/2015 19:12

I think parents should know earlier on when they chose a school that 60% of children are tutored in London, prep school or state school alike. But the child has to be bright to be able to absorb the extra content provided by the tutor that is not covered at school.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bazelle · 21/03/2015 19:12

I think parents should know earlier on when they chose a school that 60% of children are tutored in London, prep school or state school alike. But the child has to be bright to be able to absorb the extra content provided by the tutor that is not covered at school.

OP posts:
buildalegohouse · 21/03/2015 19:15

How do you know that the 'credit' belongs to the tutor and not the school? How many hours a week did the tutoring take place? Surely some of the progress they have made should be 'credited' to the school, rather than one tutor that they probably spent less than 10% of their time with.

If you think your child would have been unable to succeed without the help of the tutor, then you (and your little one) are going to get a very rude awakening when they move on to their 'super selective' school.

Original poster
Bazelle · 21/03/2015 19:25

Yes in maths credit goes to school no doubt, but not for English. I am more at peace with the whole concept now. It was a team effort :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Bazelle · 21/03/2015 19:25

Yes in maths credit goes to school no doubt, but not for English. I am more at peace with the whole concept now. It was a team effort :)

OP posts:
niceandwarm · 21/03/2015 19:29

Parents don't normally let on that their child is being tutored. I was really surprised to hear that many of my dcs contemporaries had been tutored. My sil tutors young children and I have had a very shortlived career tutoring struggling undergraduates - yes it's more common than you might think. (I gave up very quickly when I realised they wanted me to write their essays for them). There are actually websites where undergrads can pay for essay writing. Highly unethical.

fredfredgeorgejnr · 21/03/2015 19:37

"But the child has to be bright to be able to absorb the extra content provided by the tutor that is not covered at school."

So the school doesn't even cover sufficient material, and you paid them? And then instead of moving them somewhere else you just paid someone else to make up the slack?

I'm not surprised you're annoyed, but I think you need to look a bit harder at who you should be annoyed with. It's not the school.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 21/03/2015 20:37

Instead of paying twice I would employ a teacher and do a home school approach.

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