Is there anyone else out there who has just found out they are expecting their third DS and coping with OTHER PEOPLE'S OBVIOUS disappointment?

[spad]

I am delighted to be expecting our third DS. We have two utterly delightful boys and I am very lucky to be pregnant again with another healthy baby. We found out that it is a boy and today I started telling people.

Perhaps it is because we have had our family in quite a short space of time, our oldest is only 2, or perhaps I am full of hormones but the obvious disappointment that other people experience supposedly on our behalf has really brought me down.

If I wasn't so upset in other people's lack of excitement I would be angry.

Anyone else out there experiencing something similar?

AIBU to feel disappointed in the reaction of others?

Three boys sounds fabulous to me!

Yanbu - I have 3 Ds and have sadly had that said to me.I always reply that I really wanted a BABY,not a gender.I always tried to be polite and smile though as so many people said it, it was easier to stay calm than get riled every time.

Sounds amazing. 3 boys under 3. Hopefully they will be great friends. Very exciting. Congratulations. Boys rock!

I can relate. I had plenty of silly comments when I told people I was having my third son. People can be bloody rude. I just used to raise an eyebrow & tell them I was really happy to be having another boy, which I was.

Many congrats, OP

YABU Why broadcast what you're having? Why not stay quiet about it until you announce the birth of the baby?

If you go out of your way to tell people, they will likely form an opinion and not be slow to tell you about it.

I have two boys and pregnant with third child, no idea if it's a girl or boy as I don't care. I don't talk about it with people in general and change the subject if they talk about pregnancy as I find it boring discussing it with people IRL.

I look after a family of 5 girls and whenever people hear that for the first time they say "ooh they were obviously hoping for a boy then!"

I feel offended on behalf of the parents. Maybe they did want a boy or maybe they wanted a big family and were happy they were blessed with 5 healthy babies! YANBU.

And congratulations by the way

People are arses. I had this, my boys are now 4, 3 and 2 ( all jan/feb births) and reactions drove me potty. I was seriously ill after having number 2 and the constant drivel about having a girl was infuriating.

I have one of each. When expecting DS, I got people asking "are you hoping for a boy this time?" to which I replied "no, I'm hoping for a puppy". It quickly shut them up.

Then when DS was born, I'd get comments like "congratulations, you have the perfect family now, one of each", which really irritated me. I didn't care what sex they were, I just wanted 2 children. DP and I are happy with our DCs, but it's more to do with personality, not gender.

I think what's happening, is that people are commenting based on their own ideas of what a family should be, projecting, if you like. A lot of people seem to subscribe to the idea that a perfect family is one of each, and assume that's what everyone wants.

{thanks] OP, congratulations. I'm not sure I'd have had the stamina for 3, whatever their sex. Especially not 3 under 3!

rather

I think if you are having them close together it is almost a bonus having them the same sex. Not that I would be disappointed if I had two close together and they weren't.

I have a big gap so haven't been in your shoes, but they might really love having two brothers each who are nearly there age.

And I'm pretty sure everyone with any sense knows boys are easier!

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Three is great and yes close together can be demanding but the rewards are massive. Huge privilege for your boys to grow up with brothers, not everyone gets that.

People say stupid things. I got these comments. I think I used to make the comment that I was hoping for a baby. Fairly non specific!

Marking my place. 2 boys already and 20 week scan with DC3 tomorrow .......

Congratulations op.
When we were asked what we were expecting with dc3, most seemed relieved for us that it was a boy as we have 2 DDs. A few even cheered.

I hear you OP.

I still remember the paediatrician who came to do DS2's new baby check the day after he was born. DS2 is an IVF baby, born after 3 years secondary infertility and much heartache. We chatted briefly about that history whilst she did the baby check; she made several lovely comments about how extra special he must be, that it was so nice to hear positive IVF stories, that it was such a difficult gruelling thing to have to go through with such low chances of success and so much associated heartbreak. That close friends of hers were currently going through IVF and she just hoped they'd get the happy ending we'd had. Etc etc.

And then she smiled at me kind of sympathetically and said 'so d'you think you'll try again for a girl?'

You know when you just think, wtaf? Wtaf is the point?!!

(For the record we did go ahead and have another, not to try for a girl but to complete our family - we'd always hoped for three - and DS3 arrived a few years later. Three boys is fab.)

DC3 is now DS3! We have so far had no negative reactions though. Looking for inspirations for names now. Something unusual but not OTT.

OP began this thread 2 months ago. Hope she has had DS3 safely and/or has found a suitable response to those rude comments.

FWIW when my XMIL was phoned from the hospital to be told that DD3 had arrived safely and was a girl her words were ''... oh - never mind'' She had 3 sons and no daughters and continually pressed the point home to me that she would have NEVER wanted a daughter. Why would you say that? Me thinks she protested too much.

Three under three eek ! Yeah I understand when I had my second son I got loads of when are you trying for a girl then ? Um never very happy with my two lovely boys thank you !

I think the looks of are probably having 3 under 3....never mind the sex....

Good luck Op

It'd be exactly the same with 2 DD's- everyone just (stupidly) assumes its all you care about is at least 1 of "each" etc. and base it on this.

DH is one of 4 boys. MIL always said she was more than happy and wouldn't have known what to do with a girl.

Their first 4 grandchildren were girls.

It all evens out in the end.

I've got 3 boys and baby DS3 is the cutest most placid baby ever I didn't actually get any negative comments but then I didnt find out the sex until he was born so maybe that's why. Funny I would have liked a girl when I was pregnant but from the moment I first saw his little face it's just felt so right. Congrats on your baby!

Congratulations on your wonderful news, spad - I have three boys (albeit with slightly larger gaps than you), and it is lovely being mum to three boys.

Don't let the negativity get you down - enjoy your lovely family!!

People are ignorant and rude, enjoy your lovely boys x

3DSs here, sympathetic looks each time because I MUST want a girl. My own DM said "I will try not to be disappointed it's another boy" - DB & DS also have all boys.

Just ignore them and enjoy your babies.