First AIBU - please be gentle.
I have been with my BF for 18 months and living together for a year. I thought we knew each other very well but apparently not...
We were both brought up Catholics. I have a strong faith and I go to church and pray. He goes to church for major festivals and plays music in church from time to time. He has also come to church with me several times - note, I never asked him to come as he said at the beginning of the relationship that he believes but doesn't have a deep faith and so doesn't attend regularly. I said to him that I go every week and that if he wants to come then that's fine but that I would not ask nor expect him to attend if he doesn't want to.
I am the type of person who has a personal faith which helps me in my life. I am accepting of other people and their faiths and beliefs or non-beliefs. I have never ever forced my beliefs on anyone else. BF knows this and we have discussed religion a lot.
So in the 18 months we have been together he has always talked as if he has a belief in God. He has said that he does not believe all of the doctrine of the Catholic church - fair enough. He has also said how helpful he finds the sermons in his own life and that going to church makes him feel positive.
Suddenly on Monday night he pipes up (and he had been out and had 3 beers with his friends) "I believe in guardian angels but I don't believe in God. Never have".
I said "You don't believe in God?" He said, "Nope, never had".
I asked him how he could spend 18 months with me talking about God and religion as if he believed in God and suddenly he says he doesn't.
He had no answer for that and said he was tired and was going to sleep and we would talk about it in the morning.
In the morning he wasn't very forthcoming and I told him that it didn't matter whether he believed or not because I love him no matter what and that his personal beliefs are his own business. He said "Thank you", gave me a kiss and that was that.
So as far as I am concerned I won't be bringing up the subject with him again but since this happened I have felt very upset. I know this probably a bit U but I can't help thinking if he has been "lying"/"covering up"/"hiding" his lack of belief what else that he has been saying isn't true? Also I don't know why he would pretend to believe in God when he doesn't. I have absolutely never pushed my belief on him nor on anyone else. I don't know whether he thought I wouldn't like him if he was a non-believer. I just don't know why he has been saying one thing for 18 months and believing something completely different.