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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming at Mr f'king Scissorhands....

29 replies

Only1scoop · 19/03/2015 09:17

Dd is 4.5 recently had her hair cut into a lovely Bob.

The front requires a slide or band to keep it tidy.

I was away at work and have returned to dd with a homemade fringe. This was apparently styled at the breakfast table apparently he got all stressed out as her hair was in her cereal....so chopped a chunk out....

I text him last night 'I'm so angry.... why on earth did you cut dd hair?'

The reply I got was 'I'm sick of it falling in her food'

We aren't in a great place right now in our relationship and I've been told I'm 'ridiculous' to react angrily....just want MN honesty ....

I guess in the great scheme of life this is not that important but....

Would this incident annoy you?

AIBU to be angry?

OP posts:
GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 19/03/2015 09:19

My son did this when he was 4. He had beautiful golden curls leftover from our summer holiday and he cut them off for no particular reason. I was terribly upset, my husband thought it was hilarious.

Flowers
KittensOnAPlane · 19/03/2015 09:22

i dont have girls, but why get a cut for a 4.5yr old that needs some help with slides/bands?

(but in answer to your q yes it would piss me off!!)

brainfidget · 19/03/2015 09:22

I'd be very annoyed; you paid for a nice haircut, and now it's spoilt. He could have got a slide or hair grip for her. I just can't imagine someone doing this unless angry with either the child, or you.

Original poster
Only1scoop · 19/03/2015 09:25

Kitten....I don't think there are many hair styles to give a dd that don't require some form of slide or band unless it's really short.

I had It cut from long as it was such a faff and always looked a mess as its fine.... and it's been great in a short bob ....until now Hmm

It looks awful I'm taking her to hairdressers tmrw.

OP posts:
passthewineplz · 19/03/2015 09:26

YANBU! I'd be very peed off! Does he have anger issues?

DancingDinosaur · 19/03/2015 09:27

I would be really annoyed.

TheJiminyConjecture · 19/03/2015 09:31

I would be annoyed, but more importantly I know DD would be gutted if her dad just chopped off part of her hair.

How does DD feel about it? Did she get any say in the matter?

Hakluyt · 19/03/2015 09:34

Daft having a style for a 4 year old that needs a slide or a band. But unless he knew what he was doing and made a decent job of it, also daft to cut her hair himself.

Original poster
Only1scoop · 19/03/2015 09:35

I've asked her what happened....she has basically said that he was cross that she wouldn't have two slides in as 'mummy only puts one in' and snipped off the offending piece.

She didn't seem very bothered by it if I'm totally honest. He seems less than patient these days and I'm so angry about it.

OP posts:
FirstWeTakeManhattan · 19/03/2015 09:36

Yes I'd be peeved at the hair, but I would get over it as hair grows, basically (DD1 recently hacked herself a fringe with paper scissors, we're learning to be cool with this kind of thing).

What would trouble me more is that your husband sounds like he lost control a bit, or stressed out, as you say. Chopping at your little girl's hair in the middle of breakfast is not very measured, to put it mildly. I'd try to get over being angry, forget the hair thing (it probably looks cute anyway Wink)and try to have a conversation about his anger management.

I'd be concerned about my DH acting like that, to be honest.

calmexterior · 19/03/2015 09:37

Awful behaviour from your 'D'P

Original poster
Only1scoop · 19/03/2015 09:37

Thanks First

I think you've just summed up how I'm feeling there Hmm

It's the whole scenario of it I find very upsetting.

OP posts:
Littlef00t · 19/03/2015 09:41

The act is indicative of his attitude. Your response is partly about the hair and partly because it shows a lack of concern from him about your preferences and feelings, and a shortsighted frame of mind which is not attractive.

TwinkieTwinkle · 19/03/2015 09:45

When I was little I had lovely blonde ringlets. One day my nanny phoned my mum at work, absolutely hysterical. My mum honestly thought something terrible had happened. Turned out my dad had come home early from work and taken me to the hairdressers barbers and got them to cut all my blonde curls off because he hated trying to sort my hair in the morning. 22 years on and it is still a sore spot for my mum if anyone ever brings it up.

feministdog · 19/03/2015 09:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dowser · 19/03/2015 10:05

I'd be furious.

Sounds like he had a temper tantrum instead of discussing it with you.

If my husband had tried that with our daughter he would have found himself wearing the frying pan!

We weren't politically correct then in the 70 s.

I'm very touchy about hair. When my mum was a youngish girl with long blonde hair in a plait, her mother for no known reason just came up behind her and hacked it off.

That story upset me then and upsets me now.

I'd have his bags packed and waiting in the hall!

passthewineplz · 19/03/2015 10:16

Can't actually believe some of the comments, saying the OP DD hairstyle is in appropriate for a 4 year old Confused my DD can't have a fringe as it doesn't fall properly so we're having to grow it out - and having a 'style' as such is better than having it looking a mess or having to shave it off.

The point is the OP DP cut it out of anger/frustration

FenellaFellorick · 19/03/2015 10:27

a father getting his child's hair cut - absolutely fine.
a father having an attack of the mardies and hacking at his child's fringe - out of order.

I don't have the monopoly on deciding when our children get their hair cut and if my husband wants them to have a trim, fair enough. But if he lost his temper with them and hacked at their hair because they were arguing about something hair related with him - I'd hit the bloody roof.

It's not what he did, it's why he did it.

Original poster
Only1scoop · 19/03/2015 10:28

Thanks pass ....yes style wasn't in question and we were pleased with it.

Yes her hair was just great....Dp had been shown how to put in the one slide or a band ....30 second job requires no skills or further styling.

It's a good job he's away as I'd indeed be wanting to bash his head with a frying pan....can't cut his hair he's completely bald.

OP posts:
Original poster
Only1scoop · 19/03/2015 10:31

Thanks for all your responses ....

Sorry to hear some awful 'home styled hair' stories.

OP posts:
ElsaShmelsa · 19/03/2015 10:44

I'm also really confused about some of the 'styling' comments OP. Unless a girl has a really short style (like a boy) surely all hair styles have to have bands or slides?? Don't they have to wear their hair up for school?

Headlice is doing the rounds again at DD's school so all the girls have their hair up but I would never think of sending her to school without her hair tied back anyway!!

What your DH did was plain wrong.

tabulahrasa · 19/03/2015 10:53

Getting her hair cut because it's impractical is one thing, he has as much right to decide on a hairstyle as you do...

It's doing it in a fit of pique during breakfast that's not ok.

Original poster
Only1scoop · 19/03/2015 10:57

Tab DP takes dd to hairdressers regularly. It's nothing to do with him 'having a say'.

He came from a family of 5 siblings who used to stand in a line for identical bowl cuts.

The family pictures are scary Blush

OP posts:
meowth · 19/03/2015 10:57

I feel you. When I was little I had lovely, shiny light mousy brown hair and it was really long. My sister had really long, curly, bouncy blonde hair, it was so lovely. One day, my dad decided we needed a haircut. we tied our hair in ponytails and chopped them at the top. it was awful.
I always remember my mum coming in, seeing the hair on the mantlepiece and hysterically crying. I think they broke up because of that, but got back together in a week. No one hurts my mama's babies! not even one hair on their heads!

PickledLilly · 19/03/2015 11:13

I'd have gone bloody mental, you don't just hack your child's hair off because you're cross.