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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Spelling Bee

39 replies

RedButtonhole · 18/03/2015 20:18

DS, who is 5 and in primary one, has a spelling bee at school tomorrow.

I realise I don't have much room to moan about this since we were told last week and I've done nothing about it and have practiced his words with him but I really fucking hate the idea of a spelling bee.

I don't think its right at all to stand young children up in front of the whole school and an audience of parents and have them judged on their academic ability in this manner. I have considered keeping DS off and am also wondering whether to tell the school what I think but at the same time I don't think they'll be interested since I've kept quiet until now.

Children who don't do well are "knocked out" and others will get prizes if they get far enough.

I just think its unecessary and don't see how it helps really.

AIBU? What would you do?

OP posts:
wheresthelight · 18/03/2015 20:20

yabu to have waited til the night before to suddenly decide that you are against it and it will look like you are worried that he will do badly and are holding him out because of that.

it's no worse that playing a football match in terms of competition so why does it bother you so much?

shakemysilliesout · 18/03/2015 20:32

I get your point but I think it's a chance for non sporty children to be competitive. A bit like university challenge or something. It's a good goal for spelling. Opportunity also to learn where words come from and how this affects spelling.

Original poster
RedButtonhole · 18/03/2015 20:36

I haven't waited till the night before to decide I am against it, I was against it when we were first informed about it, and as I said in my post I admit I should have said something before now and thats my own fault.

I'm confident DS will manage ok with his words, it has nothing to do with me thinking he will do "badly" as you so nicely put it. That is my point, someone who is able to spell with ease will be applauded and given a prize, someone who is less able will be seen to have performed badly and made to sit out.

I haven't thought of it in terms of sporting competitions, it doesn't seem as bad in that situation though I'm not sure why.

OP posts:
Moanranger · 18/03/2015 20:37

Not against them in principle (was rather good at them myself as a child) but 5 too young IMO

Original poster
RedButtonhole · 18/03/2015 20:37

DS hasn't learned anything about where words come from, he has simply been given a list to memorise.

OP posts:
flora717 · 18/03/2015 20:38

It's not for everyone. But it is great for those kids who can, just like sports day, maths challenge, design a new backdrop for the stage, grow a sunflower, poetry competitions and all the other bumf.
Put it into context. He doesn't have to win!

MrsFlannel · 18/03/2015 20:38

Shake you posted exactly what I thought! To be honest OP I do sympathise as I have one DD who would excell at this and one who would be mortified by it. I think it is VERY important that academic kids have a chance to be competitive though. So yabu really...perhaps at 5 though they should all have a prize ....at sports day all the little ones get stickers for instance.

Andrewofgg · 18/03/2015 20:46

Yes, why is it all right for the sporty types to shine but not the academic types?

Why are keen readers said to have their noses in a book?

Why are such pools as councils still run open on Sunday while such libraries as they still run are not and never have been? (Apologies and congratulations if your council is different: if it is it is unusual).

I hope the words are at the right level of difficulty. Not indict, phlegm, diaphragm, or supersede!

Original poster
RedButtonhole · 18/03/2015 21:51

I'm unaware of any sporting event that takes place in primary school which involves telling children not to bother continuing if they are not as good as everyone else.

OP posts:
GCCPrimary1 · 18/03/2015 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JeanneTheRabidFeminist · 18/03/2015 22:03

I don't like that idea of that at all.

I think it's even worse that some people think this is about 'academic' versus 'non-academic' types. Aged 5? Really?!

Aged 5 you cannot possibly tell who's academic and who's not, based on spelling. And funnily enough i don't imagine anyone is playing knockout tournaments in sport at this age either.

Original poster
RedButtonhole · 18/03/2015 22:06

Yip, primary 1. None of them are older than 5 and have only been attending school for six months.

The words are well within DS' ability, I'm not worried about that, I just think its wrong to make such young children prove themselves to an audience like this.

I seem to be in the minority though.

OP posts:
GCCPrimary1 · 18/03/2015 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JeanneTheRabidFeminist · 18/03/2015 22:12

red, I think you are absolutely right.

I think this has absolutely nothing to do with 'academia' (not that it would be ok for non-academic children to feel humiliated anyway!).

Original poster
RedButtonhole · 18/03/2015 22:19

Relieved to hear a couple of people agree with me. Other mums have implied that I'm just worried that DS wont win, and have given the argument about sports day as well but its just not the same IMO.

I couldn't care less how far along DS gets with the words, he may well end up winning or he could get fed up and fidgety or nervous and be "knocked out" early, either way I don't think its a pleasant way to assess a five year old.

OP posts:
Original poster
RedButtonhole · 18/03/2015 22:21

Someone has just said children are mollycoddled and need to learn how to speak in front of an audience and face rejection and be judged.... at five.

OP posts:
Icimoi · 18/03/2015 22:25

Do they make all the children do it? I would be heavily against it if that is the case, it will simply add a whole level of horror to the lives of dyslexic children.

JeanneTheRabidFeminist · 18/03/2015 22:27

red, that's appalling.

ici -yes, that, 100%. And cards on the table, at 5 I couldn't read much less spell. Nor can I spell well now. I'm an academic at Cambridge University, in English Lit. I am really shocked and upset at the idea that it'd be ok to judge 5 year olds as 'academic' based on spellings performed in a stressful situation like this.

Original poster
RedButtonhole · 18/03/2015 22:35

Thankyou, I honestly was beginning to think I was just being precious.

I don't think anyone has ever objected to it before now, I don't think they could do much about it if I wanted to pick him up at lunch time (spelling bee is right after lunch). I just went along with it because I didn't want to cause a fuss but now I'm not sure I'm happy to do that.

OP posts:
JeanneTheRabidFeminist · 18/03/2015 22:45

I really don't see how you could be being precious.

Original poster
RedButtonhole · 18/03/2015 23:02

I'm not sure whether to pull DS out and tell school why

OP posts:
Original poster
RedButtonhole · 18/03/2015 23:03

Or to just let him carry on as I've left it so late

OP posts:
JeanneTheRabidFeminist · 18/03/2015 23:12

I'm sorry - I don't have anything helpful to say (I'm sure others will), but I'm sure he will know from you that this is not anything that matters.

Original poster
RedButtonhole · 19/03/2015 06:23

As far as I know, all children are expected to take part, there is at least one who is dyslexic and another parent has said last night that her child was in tears because she is so wound up about getting her words right and not being made a fool of. Its a whole school thing (small school) and even the older children are upset.

I have been brought down to size by another parent on facebook who says that because her son is shy and didn't want to do it but surprised her by winning, that it's ok because my son might surprise me by "doing well".

I wont be at all surprised if DS spells alot of his words correctly, I also wont be surprised if he gets fed up and gives up or makes a mistake- he's human, and five years old! I am not at all concerned about how far along he gets in this, my objection is to standing young children up and having a room full of strange adults judge them in this way.

OP posts:
ScathingContempt · 19/03/2015 13:12

it will simply add a whole level of horror to the lives of dyslexic children.

And sports days add a whole level of horror to the lives of dyspraxic children. I've worked with a few, ones who would rather skive school than take part in sports events because they're so thoroughly bad at them.

Fwiw I've worked with plenty of dyslexic children and yes it would be hard and embarrassing for them, I just don't like the assumption that they get to opt out of things when other children with problems don't.

I'm hard of hearing but was still expected to sing up the front in assembly performances. I hated it because I knew my singing was awful because I can't hear and replicate notes well.

What is the solution though? Only good singers do performances, only good spellers do spelling bees, only sporty kids do sports days? Or should the schools and parents foster an environment where the children who are good at something don't make the children who aren't feel bad? If everyone was more tolerant if each others' strengths and shortcomings we'd all be a lot more confident.

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