AIBU about 6yr old DS on farm

[wombatcheese]

My 6yr old DS went to play at a new school friend's farm this w end. I just know the parents to say hello to.
when my DH picked her up it took him and the other Dad over 10 mins to find the kids in a barn. the Dad "hadn't seen them for a couple of hours". My kid is sensible (-ish), but not used to farms. AIBU to be pretty surprised the parents didn't keep more of an eye on a kid they'd invited round and were responsible for? the kids were fine, having lots of fun. can't decide if I'm being PFB here or not.

I grew up on a farm, this is normal childhood for me. I love taking DD to friends farm where we turn children out after breakfast and don't expect to see them till lunch.

Is that not essentially just having a really big garden and not seeing them for a couple of hours?

I'm assuming their child knows where to avoid going and would have told his parents if DS did anything he shouldn't.

I live in a city but we sometimes holiday on DH's parent's farm abroad, I'd think its pretty standard when theres lots of land/places to play in.

It depends on the farm but YANBU - they can be dangerous.

I live on a farm, though not a working one, and while I'm happy for DS to wander in the big garden the fields and barn - no.

I'm quite a laid back parent but if I had a 6yr old and his friend to play (on a farm or not), I would have checked on them without letting a couple of hours go by.

Please be careful with this..here in lreland there has been horrific accidents on farms and sad to say it is sometimes the visitor who is injured or worse. I too was brought up on a farm but they are not the romantic places of our youth as machinery etc so big...my kids visited my parents on a farm constantly when young and my late dad was paranoid about danger..it's one of my pet hates.. Kids unsupervised on farms and if you lived in this country you would be the same

It's pretty normal behaviour for farming parents.

There were probably some rules given before they went off. It sounds normal to me, but I was encouraged to bugger off out of my parents' way go exploring at that age, and I do the same with my children.

Interesting to hear all views. Their kid, who's obviously used to the farm, seems sensible and has got to 6 years with all digits and limbs intact. From what age would u not expect to see them all day? six seems quite young.

comedancing- this is why I was surprised. they knew my DS is new to the area, he's not familiar with farms or aware of their dangers.

I'd have expected them to check on them.

It doesn't really matter if their DC knows how to keep safe. Accidents can happen and ultimately it's like letting a child loose in a factory. There's machinery, chemicals, vehicles, etc. As well as the added unpredictability of livestock if they have any.

I was on and off a lot of farms growing up and although I was very sensible, I didn't have the best spatial awareness or balance as a child so there's no way my parents would have left me on my own for a few hours.

I grew up on a farm but that was 50 years ago when there were a lot more people and and less massive machinery. What kind of farm is it?

Just to add, the dad said he hadn't seen them for a couple of hours, but it doesn't mean nobody had. They were probably checking in, telling tales, looking for drinks and checking they were allowed to do certain things. DH keeps a low profile on the odd occasion he's here when we have children round to play, I'm the one that gets pestered.

Was the mum there? Just because dad hadn't seen them doesn't necessarily mean no one had checked on them. I'd have thought they'd have been in begging for food at some point.

The Mum had been off riding. she may have seen the kids while she was riding, Dad might have exaggerated with the 'couple of hours' - seems an unusual thing to exaggerate to another parent though. it's a smallish hobby type farm, I think, with a range of livestock.

Depends on the other child and how savvy they are but personally I wouldn't allow a 6 year old off unsupervised for that length of time.
I grew up on my parents farm and now live here and run it myself, my two 2 year olds are being brought up in the same way that I was.

My non farming friends often gasped at the stuff I was allowed to do unsupervised - I could drive (on our land ) aged 14 , go out with a gun at 15, and finally got trusted with a tractor at 15 too!
I was allowed off fishing all day on my own at 8 but no, I think 6 is a bit young especially for a child not used to farms.

I don't see why different rules apply just because it's a farm. If I'm responsible for someone's kids - especially at only 6 years - then I need to know where they are and what they're doing (and I don't mean micro-managing the play, just knowing roughly what's going on).

I think 'normal for farming parents' is a bit . Yes, they almost certainly let their kids freely roam the farm - it's their home. Most farmers I know don't take that approach with visitors, especially visiting little ones. The opposite, really.

I thought I was fairly relaxed with our kids doing their own thing, but good to know most people (even farm people) agreed this lack of supervision was surprising.
DS had a great time & gets on well with the boy, so not sure how I'll handle a repeat invite. could make it a shorter time, I suppose. don't think there is a non-rude way of saying, 'please look after my child this time.'

Current HSE and NFU guidance states very clearly that children should NEVER ne left to play on farms unsuperivsed. They are workplaces that have a myriad of highly dangerous machinery, chemicals, vehicles, livestock. Farming families are often lax on it and underestimate the risks untila child is killed on seriously injured:

From NFU web site - 'Over the last 10 years, 31 children and young people, under the age of 16, have died in work-related incidents on farm, as well as a further 12 fatalities between the ages of 16 and 18.The most common causes of death and major injury are falling from or coming into contact with
vehicles and machinery, falls, drowning and asphyxiation'.

Farms are death traps

www.hse.gov.uk/campaigns/farmsafe/

This will list for you all the ways that children are injured and killed. The HSE runs events constantly to educate farmers to look after children on farms

I grew up on a farm and there is no way we would be allowed to disappear for 2 hours at age 6. We had mammoth stacks of hay and silos and no end of lethal equipment. We would have been allowed to play in the gardens and woods but even then not for 2 hours because of the streams. By 8 we probably would. We learned how to shoot and drive as young teens but 6 is very young.

From Current HSE stats - Forty-five children and young people have died and more than 400 have been seriously injured on farms in
the last ten years.

I would not let any child of mine roam free on a farm.

YANBU. I Would not be happy about that at all. Farm or no farm, 6 is too young to be left unsupervised.

My happiest childhood memory is visiting my best friend age 11 at her family farm and we (huge group of children from age 4 to 11) exploring, making dens in long grass, seeing the kittens in the barn, looking under chickens fir eggs etc until lunch. I know i saw no adults. My friends mum rang a bell at lunch tine. We disappeared then after lunch till 5pm too. It was amazing!!! I still reminder it as one of my best childhood memories. You ds was so luckily to have that freedom. However farms are dangerous! Im sure my friends mum were aware where we were but we just didnt see her.

I'm a pretty laid back parent but I would expect pretty much constant supervision of a visiting 6 year old on a farm. I'm in rural N Ireland and children (and adults) dying in farm accidents here occurs with horrifying regularity.