To Sell My Teen To The Highest Bidder?

[queeneileen]

He comes with a PS3, numerous games, a laptop, mobile phone, lots of clothes and a lifetime's supply of attitude.

He's incredibly difficult recently. He's argued with everybody, is totally apathetic, won't listen, and is surly. I've tried reasoning, I've tried telling him off and I'm out of ideas. Today's blinder was that he's lost his school shoes (he took them off for basketball after school) and has categorically refused to believe they're not here. No holes in the bag, NO FECKING SHOES. Does he care that they're missing? NO. Coz I'm just a giant sodding cash machine with legs.

I've told him he goes to school in trainers, puts up with detention, and finds the bloody things. I don't care. He's in an adult size 9/10 and they're £50 a pair. I'm a single bloody parent. You feck up, you deal with it.

I can't even talk to him, I'm that miffed.

I'm hugely cross and close to selling him or swapping him for a bottle of gin.

Who on earth would buy the buggers??

He's 13, comes with a range of languages (English, basic begrudging French, Spanish, conversational German, and Youth), makes flapjacks from scratch, has sound knowledge of Minecraft. I also have a skateboard and scooter I can parcel up with him.

Will accept SC and returns are acceptable once item is over 18yrs.

He'll go if nudged but don't expect him to wash his face properly.

Oh and he smells of teen and Lynx Apollo.

OH and he likes to go to gaming conventions. One of which I formally threatened non-payment of unless he finds those sodding shoes.

Can he lift heavy objects and hoover. If so I'll have him.

I've never seen him hoover here and he refuses to believe that kitchen floors can be hoovered as his Stepmum brushes hers and she invented cleaning (surely that's the only reason her word is gospel) but he regularly hoovers at his dads.

This is nothing to do with the fact I'm super-precious about my cordless dyson. oh no.

I've never seen him hoover here and he refuses to believe that kitchen floors can be hoovered as his Stepmum brushes hers and she invented cleaning (surely that's the only reason her word is gospel) but he regularly hoovers at his dads.

This is nothing to do with the fact I'm super-precious about my cordless dyson. oh no.

With teens you have to offer a dowry with them

Groovee

I have £1.37 and two 1euro coins.

What's the going rate?

Would you swap him for a 3 year old who won't sleep past 4am and consequently has horrendous tantrums all day due to tiredness?

If he sleeps I'll do an exchange?

These flapjacks, are they the squidgy ones and do they stay in one piece when you lift them up?

How long is his hair? I live in Australia so it will need to be at least shoulder length or he will stand out a mile.

Ah, I had one of these, at 13 they tend to malfunction unfortunately. I found unplugging the ps3 and putting the lead in a concealed place for a couple of hours tended to reboot into more acceptable behaviour. If that doesn't work, I the internet magically stops working until the teens attitude has changed from 'piss take mode' to 'remembered who pays the bills mode'.

Story and

No swapsies for Smalls, I'm afraid, I've already mentally planned turning his room into a walk-in wardrobe

Hope he finds the shoes!

I have just one issue.
Looking at the market generally, its flooded with these things. Back in the 1960's they were quite novel, but since then they have updated little and unfortunately the market is very, very small.
I can't see the attraction with this venture. There would just be storage costs.

So, I'm out. But thank you for the pitch.

Savoy they are the squidgy ones, but he's got short hair. However, he'd be on the plane before I'd finished the sentence if I told him of your kind offer.

itsnotme a total reboot? I think the PS3 lead would work, but he has the password for next doors (The Mothership) internet. Though I could turn hers off and all, she'd be all for it.

I've said he's not going to Insomnia54 unless he comes home with shoes. Suddenly he's very aware of The Importance of Finding Footwear.

I'm not convinced and am still offering him out.

I have half of bottle of Stolichnaya vodka. Will that do? Can also offer batch of best pancakes you've ever tried or maybe even a blueberry cheesecake on top of that if he finds his school shoes before coming here.

Hmm. could deal with sweeping. Can he make a cup of tea or poor wine? tempting.

ARoom I appreciate your honesty.

I wish I'd had the same forethought in 2001 when the unit was exciting and new.

queeneileen you don't have an au pair do you?
May I suggest the option, preferably foreign with a lush accent.
I find that a gorgeous eastern european with high cheek bones and an elegant face has an almost tangible effect on the male adolescent. Water shall flow, rooms shall be tidied, personal grooming will increase - exponentially.

I have had 4 13 year olds! Worse age ever ever.

Op wine is your friend.

It gets better.

And sorry you can fuck right off with that kid. No no way.

and

You can change the password from your own internet using device. If you google how for your specific provider, I'm sure it will give you step by step guide on how to do it. In all seriousness, I feel for you, he has to appricate his things. Why do teens think money grows on trees? I seriously suggested my young sibling changed their name to Google, they have an answer to everything at that age

EstRus if you can throw in all three, I'll have him at the post office tomorrow. Will you be needing the accessories?

msgrinch He can pour wine. In fact, he'll eagerly encourage your wine visits to friends so he can play on his PS3 unhindered. He's an Enabler.

Teen Swap. Your son for my daughter.
She is nocturnal, won't be separated from her kindle, is a moody bugger, allergic to water, will set you impossible tasks like 'buy me an outfit in spring colours' with no indication of what, chocaholic, bad pmt and a tendency not to give a damn where her sanitary products end up