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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get my doctor a present?

56 replies

brilliantlybew1ldered · 16/03/2015 20:07

My GP has been a massive support to me for the last year. I have been (and still am) quite hard work (MH stuff, including going missing and doing unsafe stuff with medication). She has had to put a lot of time into supporting me and doing stuff like writing letters to work/ crisis team/ psych team.

I know it's her job, but people can do their jobs well or not. I work in a public sector job (when I'm not signed off) that involves difficult people (teenagers!) and I know that some people do their jobs well/ less well, but everyone appreciates being thanked when they've gone the extra mile.

Ironically, I have a massive mistrust of almost all professionals except those in my profession, as very dysfunctional family had lots of social workers and MH people involved, and my child's disability has led to various medical/ council professionals' involvement, and it's all been kind of incompetent or budget-led. I am not great at pouring out my life story to strangers either.

All of that meant it has taken me a long time to trust/ talk to my doctor, but I have finally got there and she has helped loads. She is about to go on mat leave and I wanted to get her something to say thank you. Is that weird or nice?!

OP posts:

smileyhappymummy · 16/03/2015 20:09

I'm a GP. That's not weird, that's lovely (depending of course on the present!)
Like you say, it means a huge amount to know that someone has appreciated what you've done and it's made a difference. A small present - or a card saying so - means the world.

Brummiegirl15 · 16/03/2015 20:10

I think something small like maybe a box of roses and a thank you card would suffice.

When I was in hospital I gave the nurses a box - as a thank you gesture. A little thought goes a long way. Maybe just drop into surgery to be passed on.

It's a nice thought. A family member is a GP and everyone expects so much from them when they aren't specialists so it's a gesture that would be appreciated I'm sure

Sheitgeist · 16/03/2015 20:10

I think its a nice gesture, but keep it small; card and/or tiny gift. Larger gift would be inappropriate and may even get your doctor into trouble.

I hope you get better soon

AnyoneforTurps · 16/03/2015 20:18

Another GP here - yes, small gifts or just cards are the best and much appreciated. Larger gifts are awkward.

I have never met a GP who couldn't murder some chocolate mid-surgery

thewavesofthesea · 16/03/2015 20:26

And another here; I have really appreciated cards the most, and biscuits/choc lovely too! Keep it small and it will be very appreciated

spidey66 · 16/03/2015 20:27

I'm a nurse. Our policy is we can accept small gifts of low monetary value. Even better is if said gift can be shared within the team. So a box of chocolates, tin of biscuits etc. If you want to keep it personal to the GP, a bunch of flowers/plant is a good idea.

WRT alcohol, it's a grey area...a bottle of supermarket wine would probably be OK but nothing more than that. But like I said, it's a grey area, so tbh best avoided.

But generally it's a nice idea, it's good to hear we're appreciated.

letsplayscrabble · 16/03/2015 20:29

I'm a GP - presents are lovely (not valuable though, there are rules about that) - but a card expressing what she has meant to you would be even nicer. I still remember a patient of mine, who I knew was really struggling financially, buying me a pack of Winnie the Pooh muslins and a couple of vests when I went off on maternity leave - from a supermarket and didn't cost much - but significant money to her - but such a nice thought.

GlitterBelle · 16/03/2015 20:29

I had a lovely, lovely GP who did a lot for me and she moved to another surgery. I bought her an ornament and wrote her a letter telling her how much her compassion meant to me.

We have a mutual friend in common, and a year later my friend was at a dinner at my old GPs and mentioned she knew me, and my doctor pointed out the ornament on her shelf. It was one of those Willow ones saying thank you, so nothing posh I just meant the sentiment behind it. Didn't expect her to keep it.

spidey66 · 16/03/2015 20:31

Oh I've just noticed the GPs going on maternity leave so alcohol's even less of a good idea! Maybe get her something small for the baby? One place I worked in a colleague became a granny and one of the patient's mum's knitted a cardigan for the baby which she was well touched by.

gingerbubs · 16/03/2015 20:32

A small token present sounds like a lovely idea. You could also write a short letter expressing how you feel. Doctors need to do appraisal, and feedback from patients is a great thing for them to be able to include.

lougle · 16/03/2015 20:34

Be aware that there may be rules. For instance, the NMC Code of Practice (applying to Nurses) says that "all but the most trivial gifts must be refused".

guiltynetter · 16/03/2015 20:34

to the GP's on this thread, my grandma insisted on buying her doctor who she's been going to for years a £20 gift voucher for a posh tearoom last month. she said the gp was always lovely to her and she wanted to thank her. would the GP have got in trouble for accepting it?

parallax80 · 16/03/2015 20:35

Small is better and to be honest, now that doctors have to provide evidence of good practice for revalidation, a thank you card saying just what you've said above would probably be very much appreciated - I'm sure lots of people do value good doctors but it's unusual for someone to take the time to out that into writing.

PavlovtheCat · 16/03/2015 20:37

Nice idea. One of my GPs is moving on to another area and will be sadly missed as she has been hugely supportive of some difficult times in my health over the years. I am going to send her a good luck card. Not chocolates though, as they will be eaten by me before they get to the doctors surgery.

BlackNoSugar · 16/03/2015 20:38

I gave my GP receptionists a little box of chocolates because they've always been fab, gone out of their way to help, and stayed polite with incredibly rude patients. I thought they were going to cry so I legged it

Chocolates and a card would be lovely, and very well appreciated I'm sure. I don't think anything bigger/more expensive/more personal is appropriate, good doctors don't get enough recognition.

Fiddlerontheroof · 16/03/2015 20:45

I have a fabulous GP, I told her once....she completely disagreed, and said that she's very average. I still don't agreed she's been amazing over the last 11 years....you've spurred me on to write this in a card to her now :) x

psyandsoc · 16/03/2015 20:45

I had a gp who was invaluable and Christmas was coming. I wanted to give something that she would want and use so gave Amazon gift vouchers. She was over the moon as she could choose what she wanted at her convenience. I also gave her a card thanking her for all her help etc. When I saw her again she told me how grateful she was to have a gift with thought and what delight she had spending the voucher.

LottieMumofWilfJenkins · 16/03/2015 20:50

One of our GPs retired. He used to give the children chocolate buttons so Wilf gave him a bag of giant choc buttons and i gave him a bottle of whisky.
Another GP emigrated, he had been an amazing support so i had my friend do a pencil drawing of the surgery and got a Dr Bear for Wilf to give him.
He asked Wilf's permission to give me a hug and Wilf joined in a group hug!!!

FurbysMakeSexNoises · 16/03/2015 21:01

Another GP here - presents under £25 are fine - we have to keep a register of presents of note so it doesn't look like we are being bribed or coercing patients into giving us anything value through our position of "power"!

I received a thank you card recently and it absolutely made my month, not joking, just to know the effort is noticed sometimes. And it's the cards you look at after a long day or when you're feeling like what you can do in certain situations isn't nearly good enough.

Pishedorf · 16/03/2015 21:06

GP here too. I've always been very touched whenever a patient has brought me a gift but what has meant more to me than anything are the lovely words they write in the cards that have accompanied any gift I've had. I love my patients and love being able to help them and knowing that they have appreciated what I have done for them, big or small, is amazing. I keep all my cards to read when I'm having a bad day in work, it helps to remind me that I've helped people and made a difference to their lives just like they have made a difference to mine as I learn so much from my amazing patients every day.

katiegeee · 16/03/2015 21:06

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windchime · 16/03/2015 21:14

I work for a consultant who still has Christmas presents from patients he hasn't opened yet. If someone is on £100k a year they can buy their own stuff imo.

Carambar · 16/03/2015 21:22

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letsplayscrabble · 16/03/2015 21:24

If someone is on £100k a year

That's very much the "Daily Mail" view of what GPs earn......

Carambar · 16/03/2015 21:26

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