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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get my doctor a present?

56 replies

brilliantlybew1ldered · 16/03/2015 20:07

My GP has been a massive support to me for the last year. I have been (and still am) quite hard work (MH stuff, including going missing and doing unsafe stuff with medication). She has had to put a lot of time into supporting me and doing stuff like writing letters to work/ crisis team/ psych team.

I know it's her job, but people can do their jobs well or not. I work in a public sector job (when I'm not signed off) that involves difficult people (teenagers!) and I know that some people do their jobs well/ less well, but everyone appreciates being thanked when they've gone the extra mile.

Ironically, I have a massive mistrust of almost all professionals except those in my profession, as very dysfunctional family had lots of social workers and MH people involved, and my child's disability has led to various medical/ council professionals' involvement, and it's all been kind of incompetent or budget-led. I am not great at pouring out my life story to strangers either.

All of that meant it has taken me a long time to trust/ talk to my doctor, but I have finally got there and she has helped loads. She is about to go on mat leave and I wanted to get her something to say thank you. Is that weird or nice?!

OP posts:
Ginormarse · 16/03/2015 21:27

Another GP here. A heartfelt card or note of thanks means so much to me. I have kept every single one of mine since I graduated 15 years ago.
When we moved house and relocated to another part of the country a patient wrote me a letter and gave me a picture he had painted for me which now hangs in my living room.

Cherriesandapples · 16/03/2015 21:32

I work in Social Services- I have a thank you letter from over 10 years ago. I keep it and think about that person and still appreciate her writing it all those years ago :-)

letsplayscrabble · 16/03/2015 21:38

I still have a thank you letter and drawing that was written to my Dad (a surgeon) in the 1950's! It's framed and is a family heirloom.

indyandlara · 16/03/2015 21:43

I met my consultant after our son died at the meeting to go through his postmortem. She was fabulous and made a lot of promises. 17 months later we took our baby daughter to meet her after her clinic and took her a huge bunch of flowers from the local florist. She kept every promise and my care was outstanding. She went so far beyond her role and she kept me calm when quite frankly I was at the end of my rope with worry. It wS such a lovely morning and she went skipping off down the corridor to show our daughter off to the medical staff. I'm a strong believer in letting people know when their actions have impacted on your life for the better.

Carambar · 16/03/2015 21:47

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ARoomWithoutAView · 16/03/2015 21:49

A card. A letter. If you can cook, why not bake a cake. If you have a garden give her some flowers you grew. Something that involves 'doing' on your part to echo the 'giving' that your GP gave would be far better than a shop bought thing. I have a huge amount of respect for our medical professionals.

shouldnthavesaid · 16/03/2015 21:54

I gave my GP a present a couple.of years ago, cost no more than £5 and was no bigger than 3 inches but the next time I saw her she explained it was in a place that meant she would see it every day. She still mentions it occasionally - says she still keeps it in the same place :)

I got given a bottle of smelly stuff.from a patients wife when I first started work - I was shocked, touched and couldn't believe she'd thought of me when her husband was poorly. Still have the wrapping paper in my.jewellery box!!

Postchildrenpregranny · 16/03/2015 22:04

DD2 has been given a couple of Thank You cards while in training as a midwife ,and a lovely email with a photo of her 40th delivery (they have to do 40 to qualify) .They mean the world to her .

Original poster
brilliantlybew1ldered · 16/03/2015 22:05

Thanks for all the responses - really helpful. I was thinking a voucher, but I suppose she probably doesn't need the money. I was alternatively thinking of a plant or nice bath stuff, Molton Brown or Philosophy or something. I wondered if baby stuff was too personal. I don't want it to be awkward.

I'm glad that the opinion is 'nice' rather than 'weird'! I also know that the card and thankfulness is the main bit, not the present.

The likelihood is that I'll end up throwing the card and present at her and running off crying. I'm really going to struggle when she goes. She has been the one constant in a sea of shite: crap, unreliable professionals, fairweather friends, shitty unsympathetic boss, bewildered family. I really really don't want her to go :( [needy, self-centred face]

Thanks for all responses!

OP posts:
Apatite1 · 16/03/2015 22:10

It will be much appreciated, and nothing to do with how much you spend. I keep all my thank you cards/letters in my appraisal folder, and remember all the patients.

Carambar · 16/03/2015 23:12

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DoctorShoe · 16/03/2015 23:18

Lovely idea.

I have a grateful patient currently knitting me a scarf - really made my week when she told me. :)

GlitterBelle · 16/03/2015 23:24

Carambar - I believe complaints and compliments are registered as part of the appraisal.

Original poster
brilliantlybew1ldered · 16/03/2015 23:31

This has got me thinking - I think that teachers are also supposed to declare gifts over a certain value. I mostly work with older students and am fairly senior so have no form group, so I don't tend to get lots of the Christmas chocolate boxes, but I do get lovely things when GCSE students leave, including jewellery and posh pens. Never thought about asking how much they cost or what I should be declaring - I'm usually too busy getting emotional that they're going and reading the beautiful cards. Oops.

OP posts:
tygtygtyg · 16/03/2015 23:35

I don't want to be uber controversial - at all - but doesn't this mean we would all be well advised to give our GPs cards and letters for their appraisal files? And the receptionists?

Carambar · 16/03/2015 23:46

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nocoolnamesleft · 17/03/2015 00:10

I was incredibly touched a few months ago to receive a little present and card from the parents of one of my little patients. The ornament is proudly displayed. The card...I feel slightly dirty that I put it in my appraisal folder...but compliments and complaints are a mandatory component.

I also have a small collection of children's drawings, and a couple of gifted photos, from over the years. Some have come with me through 10 moves. These little treasures help remind me, on the bad weeks, of why it's worth sticking with the job.

julker · 17/03/2015 00:37

My physiotherapist went on maternity leave last year and I gave her one of those little teddy/tiny blanket things, was Winnie the pooh. I think it made it easier for her to accept because it wasn't actually for her, and it showed thought because it was linked to why she was leaving

NanaNina · 17/03/2015 01:08

How good to know that so many of us have lovely GPs. Mine is competent, caring, sensitive, everything a GP should be and she never rushes me and actually listens to what I say! Just before Christmas I collapsed in her surgery (had a very bad chest infection) and we joke abut it now, saying it was a good place to collapse. I wish I'd sent her a card or given her a little something. I do tell her how much I appreciate her though, so I hope that helps. I have to wait a long time because she spends as much time with every patient as she needs to, but I don't mind that because she's well worth the wait.

Don't know if anyone watches that doc about GPs (think it's a practice in Bristol) and I did see one old lady give her GP something - jam I think it was that she'd made.

Original poster
brilliantlybew1ldered · 17/03/2015 01:25

As well as being nice, she is also quite harsh at times, but I really need that. Some people who've worked with me over the last year have been very nice but also very sympathetic, and it's meant I've managed to avoid talking about anything uncomfortable as I've basically manipulated them into avoiding it or distracted them. My GP knows exactly what I'm doing and won't let me, and also tells me when I'm being a twat or irrational. I am an incredibly difficult person to work with as I hate being patronised or pitied, and she's managed me perfectly.

As well as the people skills bit though, I just know she does stupidly long hours and I've probably not helped with that.

I don't know, I've never really had much to do with GPs since my son was tiny and they get a bad press, so I just want to let her know she's helped.

OP posts:
Original poster
brilliantlybew1ldered · 17/03/2015 13:55

OK, getting a nice card, little plant and bath stuff. Thanks for all the advice. Wish me luck not being crazy(crazier than normal, anyway).

OP posts:
NurseRoscoe · 17/03/2015 15:34

I'm a nurse and every card a patient or patients relative has given me I've kept forever. It's a lovely idea

Totality22 · 17/03/2015 15:46

I got told to go to A&E with DS by one of the GP's at my old practice, an ambulance wasn't required but she did tell me to get a cab and go asap. I had zero money and was understandably in a bit of shock (had no idea DS was that ill) so she kindly lent me some cash and called us a cab.

I popped in a week later with a card, the money she had lent me and a mini Christmas tree it was a week before xmas by then to thank her. It was just a little something she could keep on her desk and a note to say I appreciated her kindness.

expatinscotland · 17/03/2015 16:07

Card, box of biccies and a cool babygro.

Dancingqueen17 · 17/03/2015 20:37

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