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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

wibu to never let this woman anywere near my family again

54 replies

madandconfused · 16/03/2015 18:30

Got into an argument with DH's step sister yesterday about something she said about our 3yr old son, it went from a telephone argument to her turning up at my house swearing and shouting in the street which scared my DS and then she grabbed me by hair n tried to drag me off my own doorstep , I should point out I am 32wks pregnant so my instant reaction is if she can attack me whilst my son is within sight and while im pregnant she should not be let anywere near him again , he is now afraid her and was up late sayin "aunty x is scary she hurt mummy" so clearly he saw what she did , DH wants me to speak to police but she has 3 kids n I don't want them seein there mum hauled off in cuffs I really don't know what to do.

OP posts:
DowntownFunk · 16/03/2015 20:18

Report her.

I didn't report a family member who violently assaulted me and I regret that now.

Handsoffmysweets · 16/03/2015 20:21

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

TattyDevine · 16/03/2015 20:31

I'd be pretty tempted to report her actually.

I find with people like this they actually don't tend to show remorse and they actually think its the right thing to do behaving like this, or at the very least manage to convince themselves that you somehow deserve it or needed teaching a lesson and see it as justice. It is pretty satisfying when an officer of the law manages to give them an attitude readjustment on the matter, and ultimately it might do them and any dependants a favour.

flora717 · 16/03/2015 20:41

Report this. The chances are, with no visible injury they'll have a word. Hopefully that will be the end of it. But, should she continue or repeat in this (when you're more pregnant or with a small baby a lot of attention will come her way). This behaviour is completely unhinged. She's dangerous (and by that, placing her own children at risk of being hauled off. Not by your actions). It needs stopping, you need to use the right channels.

CupidStuntSurvivor · 16/03/2015 20:53

And if you'd fallen OP? The consequences could have been unbearable for you. Report her. Anyone who's temper is so out of control that they put an unborn baby at risk needs a sharp snap back to reality.

miniavenger · 16/03/2015 21:04

Report her. It's lucky neither you or the baby were hurt. Next time you might not be. If she's that volatile to adults, I'd worry more about leaving her with the children then her begin carted away.

ARoomWithoutAView · 16/03/2015 21:14

Zero tolerance, for your sake others.
Call the police, ask them to warn her.

FryOneFatManic · 16/03/2015 21:22

OP, you said your DH wants you to call the police. I think you should, or she might take it further another time.

BerylStreep · 16/03/2015 21:27

Another one saying to report.

I would also take out a non molestation order against her.

WhereYouLeftIt · 16/03/2015 21:29

" she has 3 kids n I don't want them seein there mum hauled off in cuffs I really don't know what to do."
I think you have to ask yourself - how safe are her three children? I think you should call the police Sad.

IfMaybeBut · 16/03/2015 21:31

Exactly what whereyouleftit said

AlbertSpanglersConscience · 16/03/2015 21:48

So what have you decided to do OP?

Icimoi · 16/03/2015 21:53

Good grief. Does she have form for this sort of behaviour? Had she been drinking?

TRexingInAsda · 16/03/2015 21:56

Yanbu, do not see her again, or let your family/kids see her again, and definitely report this to the police. She assaulted you, not to mention your unborn child too. Even the scummiest bastards would think twice about attacking a pregnant woman, wtf is wrong with her! Hope you are ok now. x

PoppyFleur · 16/03/2015 22:02

WTF? Absolutely disgraceful behaviour, did she have a history of anger issues or substance abuse? Please report this woman.

Heebiejeebie · 16/03/2015 22:14

Report her to Jeremy Kyle immediately

TheMaddHugger · 16/03/2015 22:17

call the police Hun

((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))

Cookiesallforme · 16/03/2015 22:20

Agree with others. You must report her.

Really hope that you are ok OP

Original poster
madandconfused · 16/03/2015 22:27

Thank you for the replies everyone I am ok apart from a sore neck n shoulder , DS has been very quiet and cuddly today so clearly still bothered by what happened , I did decide to call 101 and spoke to an officer who told me I should make a formal complaint at my local station as it is assault at the least and possibly a battery charge too due to the circumstances which i did earlier made my statement and left I can only assume she had a visit because I got a message earlier tonite basically threatening to come and finish what she started last night I have ignored the message and spoken to the police again who are going to investigate further, she does have form for mouthy behaviour and getting into scuffles so they will be taking my complaint seriously my DH is absolutely fuming and so is his brother, they have disowned her for this and told her to never contact them again my family are livid that this has happened to me

OP posts:
Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 16/03/2015 22:35

Call the police. Yes okay so she has children but as previously been stated she should have thought of that before she attacked you, plus who's to say she doesn't treat her children the way she treAted you. Also she gave no thought to your ds or indeed the child you're carrying. If she'll do that to an expectant mother God alone knows what she'd do to anyone else.

DoJo · 16/03/2015 22:40

I'm so glad you called the police and her reaction has just confirmed that you did the right thing - if she can't wind her neck in when she knows that the police are investigating her behaviour, then she really does have no self control and needs a serious wake-up call. Well done - it can't have been easy, but I imagine her children's lives aren't exactly a picnic anyway living with someone so volatile, so maybe this will prompt her to get some help.

lem73 · 16/03/2015 22:52

You poor thing. This is a really shocking story. Have some Flowers and hope you and your little boy feel better tomorrow.

AntiHop · 17/03/2015 01:21

What awful behaviour from her. Well done for reporting it. Make sure you save a copy of her threatening text.

textfan · 17/03/2015 01:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
madandconfused · 20/03/2015 08:25

Just a quick update no charges are being brought against her because she is denying the attack and her mother is backing her up, so its mine hubbies word against theirs, no evidence apart from threatening messages which she has had a warning about :/ feel so frustrated with the legal system I ended spending Wednesday night in hospital because I went into early labour during the days after her attack and still the police won't do a thing , thankfully the hospital managed to stop the labour progressing , hubby is now utterly irate and so is the rest of our family. Feeling so let down by the law and upset that my baby almost came too early because of this woman. I'm currently on bedrest for a minimum of two weeks which means my DS is missing out.

OP posts: