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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really upset that I didn't receive a Mother's Day card

51 replies

Unappreciatedandfat · 16/03/2015 11:14

My DD is 20 months and I haven a 5 YO DSD so organising a card falls on DPs shoulders.

DP made up some shit excuse as to why he hadn't bothered to get me a card - his sister was meant to be sorting one out for him but she's got a sickness bug. You have an fucking. Re there is a shop 2 miles down the fucking road which sells them for about £1!!!!

I do the lion share of everything!! I cook, clean, look after the 2 kids 3 kids he does NOTHING whatsoever around the house, he's not even tidy he leaves a shitty mess wherever he goes and expects me to run around like his effing slave!! I cooked a lovely dinner yesterday which included washing up. Am I really asking too much to just have a fucking day off!? I think it's fair to say that I don ore than most to help him out and I do more than most for him!

OP posts:
Original poster
Unappreciatedandfat · 16/03/2015 11:14

You have a fucking car - stupid iPad!

OP posts:
SunnyBaudelaire · 16/03/2015 11:17

you have to put your foot down unappreciated; do not wait for him to offer to cook and wash up - say OI you are cooking today!
Besides mothers day cards were invented by Hallmark to make more money.

Fanfeckintastic · 16/03/2015 11:17

YANBU, but wait for the flurry of people complaining about another MD thread and telling you to be grateful you have children etc!

squoosh · 16/03/2015 11:19

You've made his life far too easy. Tell him that his laziness ends here.

Wigglebummunch · 16/03/2015 11:19

Yanbu shit isn't it? Luckily DD2 made one at school and then yesterday morning DD1 wrote me a poem from her and DD3. As it was my first Mother's Day with DS1 I thought DH would have got me a card from him.

I don't expect a present but a card means so much to me.
I got my DMIL a card and made a present from our DC. Ruined my day as I knew DD1&2 were upset.

Tapwater · 16/03/2015 11:23

This isn't about a card or one day off, OP, this about feeling criminally underappreciated by your husband. You need to stop meeting his expectations that you run around cleaning up after him. Sit down and make a fairer division of labour in the household. Make it plain that his tasks are his alone, and you will not be picking up the slack.

He doesn't sound like much of a catch, I have to say. Quite apart from the fact he seems to think housework is nothing to do with him, his excuse that his sister was supposed to be 'sorting out' a card suggests he thinks that that kind of thing - emotions, relationships, 'occasions' - is also women's work. Just how much 'sorting out' does a card take? My husband supervised our toddler going mad with markers on a piece of folded-over card. Job done.

icedgem30 · 16/03/2015 11:23

I think yabu about the card. I'm sure I will be in the minority though.

Yanbu about his utter laziness, that's the real problem that needs to be dealt with.

Original poster
Unappreciatedandfat · 16/03/2015 11:23

I'm very grateful for my children and I'm very lucky but I thought I deserved a Mother's Day card!!

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Squitten · 16/03/2015 11:25

I think Mother's Day is not your problem. Your unappreciative, inconsiderate lazy DH is your problem. I'd be more concerned about how it is that you have become the household servant...

Original poster
Unappreciatedandfat · 16/03/2015 11:31

I don't mind doing the lions share I just want to be shown some appreciation. He could've put DDs to bed last night instead of expecting me to do it again but he was too tired . . . He'd been sat on the sofa most of the day watching telly while I cooked, cleaned, kept the kids occupied and did all of the washing

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AnyFucker · 16/03/2015 11:33

Your husband sounds horrible in more ways than one

ilovesooty · 16/03/2015 11:35

The Mothers Day card is not the problem. Your problem is your selfish lazy husband and that sounds like a problem every day of the year.
If you'd got your card the problem would still be there.

icedgem30 · 16/03/2015 11:36

But this isn't about mothers day. He should pull his finger out throughout the year and you should feel appreciated more than once in 365 days because society says that is the day to do it.

I don't see the point in cards from children who are too young to do something supervised. A somewhat unpopular opinion though which is fine.

Original poster
Unappreciatedandfat · 16/03/2015 11:39

icedgem that's your opinion and I get where you're coming from. I've had to quit my job due to childcare arrangements and I'm now a SAHM. It's driving me mad and I feel as though I have no purpose any more

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Tapwater · 16/03/2015 11:47

Unappreciated, I can hear your understandable frustration in every line. But you are letting him behave the way he does - why? Why not actually say 'What are we having for dinner?' and 'You're on bedtime duty tonight'? What would happen if you did?

Original poster
Unappreciatedandfat · 16/03/2015 11:47

Just opened the fridge to find this . . .

To be really upset that I didn't receive a Mother's Day card
OP posts:
AnyFucker · 16/03/2015 11:50

does that make everything ok ?

squoosh · 16/03/2015 11:51

No offence but don't let some hastily scrawled note make you go all misty eyed and distract you from the fact that he's not pulling his weight.

Sounds like he has a lot to be happy about, doesn't sound like you do though.

Original poster
Unappreciatedandfat · 16/03/2015 11:53

No it doesn't make it all ok. It's insulting if not patronising

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SunnyBaudelaire · 16/03/2015 11:54

'cheep your chin up'?
wtf?
What happened to DSD's mum then?

AnyFucker · 16/03/2015 11:56

that shitty piece of paper would make it's way to the dustbin

Original poster
Unappreciatedandfat · 16/03/2015 11:57

He's dyslexic. She has her EOW now. She has behavioural issues and after moving her 100 miles away From us last year he has since decided that her and her BF couldn't cope with her

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Tapwater · 16/03/2015 11:57

It is insulting. As Squoosh says, it sounds as if he has things to be happy about, but you don't. Do you want this relationship to continue, or are you considering ending it? Is it salvageable?

LauraMipsum · 16/03/2015 11:57

He puts love notes in a kitchen appliance? That says quite a lot about his expectations of you.

Original poster
Unappreciatedandfat · 16/03/2015 11:57

She has - typos Angry

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