Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to wish my dog wouldn't think of her bloody stomach when I'm having sex?

40 replies

MatriarchalDreams · 15/03/2015 21:44

Living room this evening, fire lit, lights low, few drinks, DH and I move from three seater sofa (where dogs are) to two seater sofa, losing clothes on the way. Well on my way to a very nice orgasm thank-you-very-much when I hear Stupid Brown Dog get off the sofa and start rummaging through the pocket of my trousers to get the dog biscuits in my pocket. So now I'm thinking about whether she's ripping the pocket open to get them or daintily picking them out, listening carefully to see whether I can hear the ripping of fabric, AIBU to just want her to give us a few mins in peace without thinking of her stomach?!

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 15/03/2015 21:47

Well, if your DH will get his sausage out in front of a hungry dog...it could have been a lot worse.

Grin
corgiology · 15/03/2015 21:47

Feed her first :D

Also it's the same chemical released when you have an orgasm as the chemical that is released when you have some tasty food so maybe she just wanted the pleasurable sensation too? :P

BlueBananas · 15/03/2015 21:50

Oh I couldn't have sex with our dog in the room
She would 100% be jumping all over us Hmm

Koalafications · 15/03/2015 21:50

Did she make eye contact? Did she start licking herself? That's much worse than going to get food. Oh the noise... What a mood killer

Charlotte3333 · 15/03/2015 21:53

We tried to have sex in the lounge once. Dog (female) put her wet nose on DH's testicles. DH has never been able to look her in the eye since.

First rule of romance; don't shag where the canines are.

Original poster
MatriarchalDreams · 15/03/2015 21:54

She did start doing a bit of sniffing after she'd emptied my pocket - DH pushed her away and I think she got the message, she does have history of somewhat killing the mood, it's been ages since we've thought 'fuck it' and carried on with her in the room! Noisy Black and Tan Dog is fine, she ignores everything going on around her unless she thinks it's cats or food falling from the heavens.

OP posts:
GoofyIsACow · 15/03/2015 21:57

'Put her wet nose on DH's testicles'

Honestly I love MN for things like this! Laughter after a shit day!

WorthMoreThanThat · 15/03/2015 21:57

Charlotte that's really made me laugh Grin

rebelfor · 15/03/2015 21:59

Agree the dog licking its bollocks noise is the most off putting noise.

StormBraver · 15/03/2015 21:59

I am Shock at all of you lot who think it is acceptable to shag with the DDogs in the room. Wink

WorraLiberty · 15/03/2015 22:00

Oh I couldn't have sex with our dog in the room

I'd like to think you couldn't have sex with your dog anywhere else either! Shock Grin

BlueBananas · 15/03/2015 22:02

Grin Worra

butterfly2015 · 15/03/2015 22:02

How unreasonable of the dog!

Our cat gets very put out when we have sex in the bed when he's trying to sleep there. He doesn't move, just hangs on to the duvet and treats us to a dirty look once we are done.

This is probably why I didn't get anything from him for mothers day.

Charlotte3333 · 15/03/2015 22:03

Storm I am in full agreement with you. She is a stealth dog and was in her basket in the dining room when we took our clothes off, and commando-rolled into the lounge silently.

She also does it when she hears the opening of a packet of party rings. She's easily pleased by a bit of sex and a biscuit. Not unlike me.

clam · 15/03/2015 22:04

I could never have sex when the dog is in the room, but we've noticed that whenever dh leans in for a kiss/quick cuddle, the dog leaps up from wherever he is and tries to get inbetween us.

Is this a "thing" for dogs? Why?

Charlotte3333 · 15/03/2015 22:06

On the topic of animals in the room, we had a new pair of cats a couple of summers ago. Both tiny female kittens, one was a bouffy ginger thing. DH and I were having lazy missionary sex one morning when over his shoulder I could see a very happy-looking ginger cat sat on top of the duvet, bobbing up and down on his bottom. I have never laughed so hard in my life.

Cats are barred from bedrooms now.

Original poster
MatriarchalDreams · 15/03/2015 22:07

Jealousy. They're all fucking jealous.

OP posts:
BigRedBall · 15/03/2015 22:07

How can you have sex with your dogs watching you? Surely that's some kind of animal abuse. It's not right!

bluelamp · 15/03/2015 22:17

I have never had sex with a pet in the room but you lot are all mad and making me laugh a lot.

Original poster
MatriarchalDreams · 15/03/2015 22:19

They just become, part of the furniture after a while.

OP posts:
FretYeNotAllIsShiny · 15/03/2015 22:21

DH and I were having lazy missionary sex one morning when over his shoulder I could see a very happy-looking ginger cat sat on top of the duvet, bobbing up and down on his bottom. I have never laughed so hard in my life.

This...this is glorious. That's my evening made.

itsnotmeitsyou1 · 15/03/2015 22:26

Once had sex, the dog got a bit annoyed, jumped on my partner who shooed her away. Dog didn't appricate it, as we were reaching a 'good motion' had to stop, she had done an angry fart and the smell could have knocked out a small animal. There goes sexy times!

fattymcfatfat · 15/03/2015 22:29

thank you so much. just what I needed Grin

AWholeLottaNosy · 15/03/2015 22:37

Really hilarious thread, thank you all so much for sharing! Grin

StormBraver · 15/03/2015 22:38

Grin at the bouncing ginger cat!