Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or is it normal for your MIL to send you a mother's day card/gift

49 replies

Schmoop · 15/03/2015 19:59

so pfb is just turned 1 and it's my second mothers day. Last year MIL bought me a card and a gift which I thought was nice and she was perhaps thinking Dh may forget with having a newborn. This year again I've received a card and a plant.
AIBU to think it's all abit unnecessary.
Does anybody else's MIL buy them a mothers day card??

OP posts:
RussellHowardsWonkyEye · 15/03/2015 20:00

how dare she, the bitch!

AlPacinosHooHaa · 15/03/2015 20:06

In the early years my DF used to send me flowers on behalf of DC it was really sweet, he doesnt now, but it was lovely, I think its a really lovely gesture...to me its her appreciation showing to you.

i assume your DH gives her something!

mynewpassion · 15/03/2015 20:06

Can't you just accept that it was a thoughtful thing to do instead of looking at it negatively, especially if she's nice?

dangerrabbit · 15/03/2015 20:06

That's nice of her

Passmethecrisps · 15/03/2015 20:07

It is a lovely thing to do. She is acknowledging your role as mum.

Very sweet I think

GrouchyKiwi · 15/03/2015 20:07

My MIL did for the first couple of years. I thought it was very kind of her and really appreciated her thoughtfulness.

liveloveluggage · 15/03/2015 20:08

Not normal, she's being extra nice! Probably someone who likes giving gifts.

Passmethecrisps · 15/03/2015 20:09

And perps ally I find the whole thing unnecessary but it would stop me appreciating that mil doesn't and get the kindness behind it

This is 100% the sort of thing my mil would do. She is kindness personified

pictish · 15/03/2015 20:09

Yes sometimes. It's just a nice gesture. Don't over think it.

CarolaStorms · 15/03/2015 20:10

My MIL does, she's lovely. My sil does too! My side of the family don't though.

Passmethecrisps · 15/03/2015 20:10

^personally

^wouldn't

ManicPixieDream · 15/03/2015 20:11

My MIL always gets me something "for being a lovely Mum".

She's such a sweetie Flowers

I'll probably do the same if and when my DSs have kids.

Not necessary but a nice thought.

DramaAlpaca · 15/03/2015 20:12

That's a lovely thing for your MIL to do.

I'd take that as a sign that she thinks you are doing a great job.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 15/03/2015 20:13

Thats a lovely thing to do imo.

notsolovely · 15/03/2015 20:13

Not normal as in something everyone does. But a lovely gesture to say 'thank you for being a good mum to my grandchild' maybe. Definitely not weird. My mum bought me flowers this year. Doesn't normally, but she knows it been a stressful year and she adores my kids. Sometimes she thanks me for letting her be so involved with them, no reason I wouldn't. She just gets alot of joy out of them.

WayfaringStranger · 15/03/2015 20:14

YANBU, being kind 'just because' is incredibly unnecessary.

Original poster
Schmoop · 15/03/2015 20:15

No I didn't want it to come across as negatively. I appreciate that she's acknowledging me as a mother and we have a good relationship. It just didn't seem like the done thing to me. Little bit awkward for my mum when she saw the card and thought she should have got me one too.
I'll shut up and appreciate my considerate MIL. perhaps it will phase out over the years

OP posts:
slithytove · 15/03/2015 20:16

Unusual but nice. My mum did this my first Mother's Day

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 15/03/2015 20:17

My late MIL often got me a card especially in the early years. I really liked it!

She always said I was the daughter she never had! (and claims she only got birthday cards once I arrived on the scene! )

AlPacinosHooHaa · 15/03/2015 20:19

Op I dont know how new or old you are to MN but usually its littered with tales of great woe and sorrow where MILS are concerned.

Your mum shouldn't feel insecure because she saw the gesture your MIL sent you, you and your mum - usually are going to be far closer. Your mum should be thankful you have a nice mil who seems to appreciate you and isn't making her daughters life HELL.

I would fall on the floor if my MIL did this for me, I would deeply appreciate it, and who knows, the frost on our icy relationship might start to thaw. I would be deeply moved.

All I get from my MIL is bitterness, disapproval and criticism, in lorry loads.

Be grafetul.

happy2bhomely · 15/03/2015 20:19

I made my MIL a cake and she got me a candle. It's nice to be nice!

GrannyGoggles · 15/03/2015 20:20

Do you find her overbearing? Does she over involve herself at key moments?

Today was my first Mothering Sunday as a grandmother and I texted DiL and DD, mothers of the darling DGCs, to wish them all a happy, special day.

My own DCs have, highly unusually, as we all regard this as a bit of a Hallmark Hoilday, sent cards with tear inducing notes.

If she's not generally over the top, I'd say take the win, she's being nice and caring. Enjoy.

SaucyJack · 15/03/2015 20:20

It's quite sweet. I would assume she was the sort who enjoys having reasons to pop to the shop. Don't stress about it.

Bakeoffcake · 15/03/2015 20:21

My MIL always gives me flowers- a little poise she's made from her garden.

I must admit I'd never heard of it before, but I do think it's lovely.

happy2bhomely · 15/03/2015 20:22

I also got my Mum a card and I got flowers and cards and poems from my children, with a little help from DH.

I also text my sisters and told them that they are wonderful mums to their small children.

Some people like to share the love, that's all.