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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

or is it normal for your MIL to send you a mother's day card/gift

49 replies

Schmoop · 15/03/2015 19:59

so pfb is just turned 1 and it's my second mothers day. Last year MIL bought me a card and a gift which I thought was nice and she was perhaps thinking Dh may forget with having a newborn. This year again I've received a card and a plant.
AIBU to think it's all abit unnecessary.
Does anybody else's MIL buy them a mothers day card??

OP posts:

Bakeoffcake · 15/03/2015 20:23

Sorry *posie

Passmethecrisps · 15/03/2015 20:23

See my mum is the polar opposite of my mil so we have all just had to adapt to the overwhelming public displays of love from my mil in comparison to the genuine but thin smiles of my mum.

My mum loves me fiercely I know this and I reciprocate with a similar quiet, thin smile but there are times when I revel in the gush from mil.

GrannyGoggles · 15/03/2015 20:24

Sorry, x post, and read your response.

You've taken the win!

starfishmummy · 15/03/2015 20:25

Mine used to. I thought it was a bit odd but knew it was kindly meant.

MaryWestmacott · 15/03/2015 20:27

It's unusual but nice. Perhaps FIL didn't arrange stuff before your DH/his siblings were old enough to make things at school and she wanted to make sure you get something.

She clearly thinks you are doing a good job with her DGC and wants to make sure that's acknowledged. I hope Im that lovely when I'm a MIL.

Original poster

Schmoop · 15/03/2015 20:28

So the concensus is it's not the norm it's above and beyond. It has made me see it in a much lovelier light reading these posts. It felt odd to me because it was a day for us to be treating her not the other way round I thought it was an upward cycle. But saying that I did text mum friends to wish them a good day

OP posts:

Passmethecrisps · 15/03/2015 20:32

It is lovely that you felt it should be upwards.

Next year just embrace the love all round

pippitysqueakity · 15/03/2015 20:35

My MIL does this. It's odd, but I love her for it. (M and B toiletries this year.)

londonrach · 15/03/2015 20:35

What a lovely mil you have. Look after her. They very special!

nifaitniafaire · 15/03/2015 20:36

How lovely, she's acknowledging your role as a mum and basically telling you you're a good mum. It's unusual and totally unnecessary but that's what makes it lovely.

43percentburnt · 15/03/2015 20:37

My mum used to send me a card on my first few mothers days. It's a nice thing to do. She sounds kind and thoughtful.

HicDraconis · 15/03/2015 20:39

Mine doesn't send me anything but to be fair her son (DH) doesn't send her anything either. She's his mother not mine so I refuse to nag him about it.

Doesn't help that Mother's Day is a different date where we live though.

CPtart · 15/03/2015 20:40

Mine doesn't, I wouldn't expect her to. However I don't put DH name on my mums card yet he puts mine to MIL from him. I always tell him
"She's not my mum" but he does it anyway.

FlyingPirate · 15/03/2015 20:50

My MIL got me a beautiful scarf this year. She's never done it before but I really appreciated it. It showed me that she cares and appreciates the job I do of raising her grandchildren. I wasn't expecting it and it was very kind. I was quite choked up when she got the DC to give it to me

Minisoksmakehardwork · 15/03/2015 20:56

My mil sends me a card years for Mother's Day. Not this year but was my birthday yesterday.

I see it as She's thanking me for being mum to her grandkids (they get dh a Father's Day card too), and letting them be as much a part of our family as anyone else.

oldandcrabby · 15/03/2015 21:52

Oops, I sent my daughter 'outlaw' flowers today, she is expecting my granddaughter in a couple of months. She lost her mother when she was quite young. I await being rubbished....

Charlotte3333 · 15/03/2015 21:54

oldandcrabby what a wonderful thing to do, you're absolutely not being rubbished from here.

HicDraconis · 15/03/2015 22:34

oldandcrabby that may have been a lovely thing for you to do. Or it may not have been - I lost my mother some time back and would have hated this from my MiL (as she isn't my mother and it reminds me that mine is no longer here). Only you know whether your son's partner would have appreciated it or been upset by it, nobody here knows her so can't judge either way.

No rubbishing from me either, but having been the daughter in law ... the birth of my first child with my own mother not there to see it and be part of it was incredibly difficult. My MiL handled it badly, which has affected our relationship years later.

SASASI · 15/03/2015 22:35

I think that's a lovely gesture.

We took MIL out this afternoon & not once did she acknowledge it was my first mothers days after having difficulty conceiving.

I know what MIL I would rather have!

CalleighDoodle · 15/03/2015 22:38

Mine doesnt even acknowledge my birthday!

Scrumbled · 15/03/2015 22:48

Not a social norm but nice..

Twinklestar2 · 15/03/2015 22:54

My mil sent me one this year, so lovely of her.

primarywannabe · 15/03/2015 23:02

Mine did one year. It was SILs first mothers day, and BIL is a bit useless, so MIL got her a framed photo of her baby and some tulips. She got me some too, because she didn't want to be unfair!

A nice gesture, I think. My own mum got me some daffodils today...just because. I think it's just a nice day to celebrate motherhood.

DustyMaiden · 15/03/2015 23:10

My Mil bought me a gold watch, with help from my DD. I change her nappies so guess I qualify.

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