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AIBU?

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Original poster

to be shocked my friend brought her kids round riddled with head lice again!

74 replies

mummytowillow · 15/03/2015 19:28

A few weeks ago I spent five hours in total helping my friend get rid of her kids head lice.

They were riddled and it took forever to comb them through. Hmm

She is a bit clueless and I advised her to comb every few days to ensure everything had gone.

I've got them for a sleepover tonight, she's just dropped them off and said 'oh they've got lice again and I've not treated them yet' WTF!

My DD hasn't had them yet but it's odds on she will now. She has very long hair and I know it will be a nightmare.

What I should have done is grown a pair and told her to take them home. But as she's going out I just bit my lip!

I'm such a mug am I not?

OP posts:
steff13 · 15/03/2015 19:32

Oh my goodness! Yes, you should have told her to take them home. My kids are 16, 13, and 4, only one of them has ever had lice, and it was about 10 years ago. It's a nightmare to deal with, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Did she know that she had to wash all the sheets, spray the furniture, etc.

Original poster
mummytowillow · 15/03/2015 19:35

She only washed sheets because I insisted she did it.

She actually stood them in shower, put treatment on and rinsed it out immediately. Then wondered why it hadn't worked.

This is why I spent five hours treating and combing their hair out. I have never seen so many eggs and now she's back to square one!

OP posts:
MartinRohdesBellybuttonFluff · 15/03/2015 19:36

YANBU, she has a bloody cheek. You are being far too nice and accommodating OP.

PeppermintCrayon · 15/03/2015 19:38

This is neglect. If it continues please report it.

I speak as a child who was neglected and wish the people who knew about things like being left with nits had reported them.

Floggingmolly · 15/03/2015 19:38

Why did you let them in???? Shock

steff13 · 15/03/2015 19:38

Wow, when I treated my son, I vacuumed, sprayed, and washed everything. My house has never been so clean. Smile And my car, too.

Notrevealingmyidentity · 15/03/2015 19:39

I'd call her back and have her collect them.

Aeroflotgirl · 15/03/2015 19:39

I would have told her,well in that case take them back again.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 15/03/2015 19:40

She should not have done that to you, OP.

Two of my DC got head lice for the first time last year. I used Hedrin Once which works in 10 minutes. It's a bugger to wash out but totalled the lice straight away.

I then sprayed tea tree oil (diluted) on for a few days, and that seemed to sort it.

Just in case, like...

Fleecyleesy · 15/03/2015 19:41

A 'sleepover' on a Sunday night? Who is this for exactly?
Surely you're the free nanny service who also denits her charges.
Don't let her continue to take the piss, it will only get worse.

blackcats73 · 15/03/2015 19:44

I'm not sure you need the extra hygiene. , that's worms.

Just blitz them with hedrin

ArcheryAnnie · 15/03/2015 19:55

Hedrin is your friend, but bill her for the cost of treating both her kids and yours.

(Hedrin really does work in one treatment. It's a bugger to wash out, and it is expensive, but the secret is to add the shampoo to the Hedrin-covered hair before making the hair wet.)

And no, you are absolutely not being unreasonable to be shocked that she would do this. Her poor kids. She's behaved appallingly (as has the kids' father - presumably he doesn't have a comb allergy, either).

Plan of action:

  • denit her kids and prevent-treat yours using Hedrin. Save the receipts and ask her for the money back.
  • tell her that you won't look after her kids when they have nits, and stick to it.
  • inform the school (in confidence) if you think there's a neglect problem.
Madeyemoodysmum · 15/03/2015 20:09

I don't think you need to wash sheets. They can't live off a head for long.

My dad has them now. I'm combing with a nitty gritty comb every night and doing the rest of us as a precaution but we are clear.

Madeyemoodysmum · 15/03/2015 20:10

Dd not dad

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 15/03/2015 20:19

If the DC are at your house and the Mum has gone out.

Do you want to treat them (it's not your job to and I'm sure people will say you cannot apply a treatment to another child without the parents consent)

If you do use Hedrin / any other treatment, you'll have two very greasy children tomorrow (I've used it, I'd have been as well pouring baby oil on them Hmm )

Mayonnaise generously lathered on them clingfilm.
Or cheapie conditioner.

Get the DC to comb their hair to get rid of the tangles first then you can use your Nitty Gritty and it shouldn't take too long.

With your own DD, plait her hair tightly and spray with hairspray. It'll brush out tomorrow,

And next time they visit, forewarned is forearmed.

SharkCat · 15/03/2015 20:19

just put some olive oil or teatree oil on her head

justforonceanonymous · 15/03/2015 20:20

You dont need to wash sheets or spray the furniture. The lice can't live off the head for long. Although I do wash pillow cases but thats more to make myself feel better.

Also hedrin does not always work. It didnt with my 4. I nitty gritty with conditioner every time I wash their hair now and touch wood they've all been clear for a xouple of months now. I couldnt afford the hedrin every five minutes.

Your friend has a cheek though

EatDessertFirst · 15/03/2015 20:21

Get her to pick them up NOW! Its not your responsibility to de-nit her DC! Who gives a stuff if she is going out and leaving her DC with you on a school night which in itself is bizarre? Definately treat your DC just in case.

The brass neck on her is astounding!

Original poster
mummytowillow · 15/03/2015 20:22

It's a favour as she had a night out planned, that's why it's a school night sleepover.

I'm not doing them, it's too late, it will take too long. I'll just change bedding etc tomorrow and comb my daughter through tomorrow night and hope for the best. Wink

We've had letters home from school so I imagine she will get called aside if she doesn't sort it once and for all.

I know one thing she's not getting me for five hours again, she can do it herself.

OP posts:
DinoSnores · 15/03/2015 20:24

"Did she know that she had to wash all the sheets, spray the furniture, etc."

You don't need to do this with head lice:

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Head-lice/Pages/Treatment.aspx

The one time we've had lice, I just used the Nitty Gritty comb every couple of days, which worked nicely but that does require some dedication, which it doesn't sound like this mother has. Now I go through the children's hair every weekend to make sure that we are starting the week lice-free.

SquinkiesRule · 15/03/2015 20:26

What a horrible thing to do to you and her kids they must be mortified that they have them again and need you to treat them if they are old enough to know whats happening.
I'd get tea tree oil in some water in a spray bottle and give your Dd's hair a quick spritz and tie it up in tight plats.
Spray the pillows too.
mean that you now get to spend the evening treating her kids again. She should be ashamed of herself.

ArcheryAnnie · 15/03/2015 20:32

70isaLimit they don't need to be greasy with Hedrin - they only stay like that if you wet the hair before putting on the shampoo afterwards. You do need to use a lot of shampoo, true - but we haven't had gready hair at all afterwards.

And we've never had a recurrence with Hedrin. I think those that do are just getting reinfested from wherever they got the nits in the first place.

Mrsderekshepard · 15/03/2015 21:39

I don't pay for Hedrin it's available on pharmacy first. Unless it's changed?

Only1scoop · 15/03/2015 21:41

Yabu

To be such a mug yes....

I wouldn't have had them to sleep
Over until treated.

Your friend needs to sort it.

ArcheryAnnie · 15/03/2015 21:44

What's "pharmacy first", Mrsderek?