Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How much notice do you take of other women's shape/stomach/muffin top?

45 replies

GlitteringJasper · 15/03/2015 17:17

I'm 14 week post partum with dc2 and I've had 2 sections.

I think it took me a good 9 months after my last child to feel me and slim again but with this baby I just don't feel it'll happen. I've got a roll of stomach that's very squishy that just wasn't there before having children or after having my first.

Now, I fit my clothes again and most of them don't feel tight (some do).

So dc2 is 14 weeks and I fit my clothes mostly all again but I don't feel slim. I have to remind myself to sit up straight so that my muffin top isn't sitting out.

AIBU to ask if you notice other woman and whether or not they have a bit of a tummy or a roll of fat that wasn't there previously.

I don't know why I'm asking really I guess I'm just finding it slightly hard that I'm not the slim, all clothes look well type of person that I was pre dc.

I just need to get over this don't I? I do exercise walking 5 x 40 mins a week, I've no time for anything else but I just get the feeling the roll is here to stay.

Before anyone says it, I'm totally aware this is not a major problem, I'm not ill, my children are healthy etc but I'd like some views on it.

OP posts:
amothersplaceisinthewrong · 15/03/2015 17:20

Do some sit ups and practice holding your stomach in. That will strengthen the muscles.

I am sure the stomach does not look as bad as you think....

tartyflette · 15/03/2015 17:20

Couldn't give a bugger about anyone else's muffin top/baby weight gain. More than enough of my own to worry about. That said, if a friend was upset and struggling about weight gain I hope I'd be supportive.

Galvanized · 15/03/2015 17:23

No I really really don't notice this kind of thing. I notice if someone has lost/gained a lot of weight if I haven't seen them for ages but then I still wouldn't bring it up unless they did. Fwiw I also have this odd new tummy roll and I found stomach crunches helped! New flattering jeans that cover the bump too. But 14 wks post partum is still very early days.

Nolim · 15/03/2015 17:24

Not at all unless they were really tight clothes

TheJiminyConjecture · 15/03/2015 17:25

I can honestly say the majority of the time I only notice women who look good. As in I like their clothes/style/hair etc.

The only other time I notice is if they are in ill fitting clothes. Not "a bit tight" more like squeezing into clothes multiple sizes too small.

The best piece of advice I read on here was something like "don't worry about what people are thinking about you, chances are they're not". Congratulations on your DC.

Superexcited · 15/03/2015 17:25

I had a muffin top for about 5 years after giving birth to dc2 and I was very self conscious but I don't notice anybody else's muffin tops so I don't know why I thought people might notice mine. I used to wear a spanx type vest if I wanted to wear tight fitting clothes just so I could feel a bit more confident.
I am now pregnant with dc3 so I will invest in some spanx vests for the months /years after the birth.

StrawberryTallCake · 15/03/2015 17:26

Hmmm, no I don't ever notice anyone else I am much too self obsessed about my own wobbles!

Careful of sit ups when you are so close to having had your baby (mild prolapse sufferer here) lie on the floor with your knees bent hold in your stomach and lift your bum off the floor as far as you can holding in your stomach. That is a good starter exercise but there are lots more you can find online, or have you thought of a pilates dvd?

Really though don't stress you have only just had your dc you only have one life and you will be upset looking back if you spend this time worrying about how you look to others. I'm reasonably happy being lazy so I gave myself until dc2 was 18 months to get back into exercising properly and it hasn't hurt I promise.

TheSingingMonkey · 15/03/2015 17:26

Do not do sit ups unless your stomach muscles have closed enough to do them. Else you may do permanent damage.

No I don't notice. After DS1 I lost weight quickly, DS2 it's still there and my stomach is big and saggy. I'm not happy with it, I feel big.

MagicMojito · 15/03/2015 17:31

Yes tbh I do notice, I dont judge anybody for the way they look but I always look at other women's stomachs/ thighs/ bums to compare myself with them iyswim?

Chips1999 · 15/03/2015 17:37

Nope...too busy worry about my own tummy to worry about anybody else's Blush

woollytights · 15/03/2015 17:38

Honestly I might notice but I'm somewhat into staying in shape, fitness etc. Really you could change it if you put some serious, hard, regular workouts in and ate a great diet. It's not easy, but not impossible like you think. I mean that.

Your choices are either trying to learn to love your body as it is, changing your lifestyle to get the body you want or living with a body you feel unhappy with but not having the worry of diet or exercise. None of these options are particularly easy or straightforward though.

So what are you looking for? Motivation to change or reassurance that it's fine to look the way you do? Let me tell you, EVERYONE has their own insecurities and spends more time worrying about their own rather than scrutinizing your appearance. Whatever you do, do what will ultimately make you happy.

steff13 · 15/03/2015 17:39

I'm weird; I am very hard on myself and I feel terrible about my size, but i see women who are my size or larger, and it never occurs to me that they're too fat or that they're ugly or that they look gross (all things I say to myself). I generally think they look fine.

dillite · 15/03/2015 17:47

Depends on how much of them is spilling out of their clothes. 99% of the time I don't give a flying fuck, but then when I see someone whose jeans are on do tight that she can't walk straight and her nipples are poking out from her cropped top because those boobs were not grown for bra-less life, I do notice*. And I do judge. Unashamedly.

*Describing here an actual real-life sighting.

catgirl1976 · 15/03/2015 17:49

I think I only look at other womens figures to compare with mine. As in "I wonder if I am fatter / thinner / the same size as hers".

Or I might notice someone with a great figure and think "Oh, she has a great figure"

I wouldn't notice someone elses muffin top unless it was right in my face, poking out of a crop top with a neon sign on it. I'm far too busy worrying avbout my own.

Silvercatowner · 15/03/2015 17:51

Muffin tops do make me think 'get some looser clothes' but not 'ohmigod you are sooooo podgy. I have a muffin top in a couple of pairs of jeans. I don't wear them unless I have a loose tunic on top to hide the muffinness.

flora717 · 15/03/2015 17:51

I don't notice. I notice things like colour on a person, or their shoes, because those things are a choice, selected. Much more telling about a person (to me) than the body they inhabit.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 15/03/2015 17:52

Large thighs, red G string and see through white leggings, I notice. Stomach/shape/muffin top, I don't.

You've just had a baby, it's time to be kind to yourself Smile Thanks

AyeWrite · 15/03/2015 17:54

I do. It's just one of the things I notice/look at. Stomachs, teeth, eyelashes. I'm aware that's probably a bit strange.

KittyandTeal · 15/03/2015 17:55

I'm sure it'll take a while before your core muscles are back in shape. Give yourself some time.

I have to say I've found it harder to loose weight after having my second, she was still born at 22 weeks so it was only really half a pregnancy, but despite being down the gym 3 times a week or running as well as calorie counting I'm finding the weight just isn't shifting like it used to.

AyeWrite · 15/03/2015 17:57

Although I should say or depends VERY MUCH on how the person has dressed the stomach area, ie their top isn't riding up with it hanging out, or skin tight clothing.

SaucyJack · 15/03/2015 17:57

I do notice, but I'd never think anything of it- especially when they'd had a baby three months ago.

Not everyone can ping back into shape after childbirth. Whatevs.

StarOnTheTree · 15/03/2015 18:01

I only notice my own but I do think some people notice other peoples.

DD3 (8) is having issues with a girl in her class (there's no love lost between me and the mother either) and last week she told DD3 that at least her mum has a flat stomach and that I have a fat one. This girl is absolutely right, her mum has a stomach to die and mine is bit flabby for but I'm 99% sure that the child was just repeating what she'd heard her mum say.

sonjadog · 15/03/2015 18:02

I would notice too small clothes most of all.

I might notice but in an observational way. There would be no judgement behind it. Women come in all shapes and sizes. That's the way it's meant to be.

Gunpowder · 15/03/2015 18:07

Absolutely not. Only if they are wearing a crop top!

HaveYouTriedARewardChart · 15/03/2015 18:16

Early days op! Just try to relax about your body just now, it'll prob shrink a fair bit with good old time, though I would think very few women have exactly the same body after kids.

And yes, I do look and notice other women's bodies (in a fairly non judgemental way) but am spectacularly unconcerned about being heavier and wobblier than ever six months after dc3's birth.

Swipe left for the next trending thread