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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How much notice do you take of other women's shape/stomach/muffin top?

45 replies

GlitteringJasper · 15/03/2015 17:17

I'm 14 week post partum with dc2 and I've had 2 sections.

I think it took me a good 9 months after my last child to feel me and slim again but with this baby I just don't feel it'll happen. I've got a roll of stomach that's very squishy that just wasn't there before having children or after having my first.

Now, I fit my clothes again and most of them don't feel tight (some do).

So dc2 is 14 weeks and I fit my clothes mostly all again but I don't feel slim. I have to remind myself to sit up straight so that my muffin top isn't sitting out.

AIBU to ask if you notice other woman and whether or not they have a bit of a tummy or a roll of fat that wasn't there previously.

I don't know why I'm asking really I guess I'm just finding it slightly hard that I'm not the slim, all clothes look well type of person that I was pre dc.

I just need to get over this don't I? I do exercise walking 5 x 40 mins a week, I've no time for anything else but I just get the feeling the roll is here to stay.

Before anyone says it, I'm totally aware this is not a major problem, I'm not ill, my children are healthy etc but I'd like some views on it.

OP posts:

FindoGask · 15/03/2015 18:22

I definitely notice body shape but it's not like I do it consciously unless someone is extraordinary in some way.

Muffin tops only happen when your trousers are a bit small, surely? Maybe buy a couple of pairs of slightly bigger trousers for now if you're self-conscious about it. 14 weeks is hardly anything - I'm sure you'll get back to how you were. I remember actually having to fold my floppy belly into my trousers for weeks after I'd had my first child. It doesn't look like that now!

miniavenger · 15/03/2015 18:50

I only notice if someone wears something to emphasise, and then it's just a 'huh wouldn't wear that' but I get a muffin top in certain jeans and skirts so I scrutinise myself!

I have found that doing twists has helped reduce the love handles a bit, yoga twists. You've just had a baby, give yourself a break- my muffin top is chocolate and alcohol!

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 15/03/2015 19:07

Nope. If someone came over to me and commented, I'd think them weird for staring long enough to notice

That said, I'm used to my body being stared at. I can't wear anything even remotely tight and bikinis are way out of the question as I have an incredibly noticable surgical scar, it shows through even vaguely tight clothing and gets stared at. But if people judge for that, I reason that they're stupid so it doesn't get me down

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 15/03/2015 20:09

I don't notice other peoples' as a rule but at my chubbiest I was convinced they ALL saw mine and judged me. I suppose I do notice though if their clothes are painfully too tight as it makes obvious if you see what I mean.

VolumniaDedlock · 15/03/2015 20:12

i notice when people look good

these people don't all have supermodel bodies - it's generally about how they put an outfit together, or good hair, or attractive faces.

my thunder thighs bother me a little, but I never notice anyone else's.

Liara · 15/03/2015 20:14

Never. Not even if they are wearing the most ridiculous clothes. I might notice ridiculous clothes which do not get carried well, but that is because they are not carried well iyswim.

I have seen very big women who look like they feel fabulous and carry it well, and I have noticed them (as in how well they carry it!).

I am more likely to notice someone who is worryingly underweight, tbh, but that's probably because I have been and it was awful, so I wince in sympathy.

HootOnTheBeach · 15/03/2015 20:29

I am so self-absorbed that I rarely pay attention to other people's bodies unless they are grossly obese or something.

However, if I knew you well about to remember you without a muffin top I hope that I would know you well enough to know that you'd only just had a baby!

ilikebaking · 15/03/2015 20:46

I look at other ladies middles.
Mostly, because 15 months on from my section, I am paranoid about my middle bit. I still have a bit of a pancake of fat around there, but it isn't too bad in the grand scheme of things.
I never judge if women have a tummy, but I do look, mostly for solidarity.

I think it's called a mothers apron or something. ...

SharkCat · 15/03/2015 20:47

people with low self esteem notice things on others to pick out. I couldnt care less and dont let anyone put you down for your weight. Im a personal trainer saying that.

MrsMook · 15/03/2015 20:59

14 weeks is very early. It takes me about 12 months to gently get back to the right weight, but longer to tone up.

I had a CS with Ds1 (Ds2 was a VBAC) and the combination of that and my humongous bump left me with a great flap of saggy, surplus skin. Ds2 didn't stretch me as much, and as he approaches his 2nd birthday, it is calming down. I'm careful with abdominal work as I still have a mild split in my abdomen.
I have a simple interim wardrobe to get me to the point where I feel good in my regular clothes as I'd rather not be feeling squashed up in my regular ones too soon.

LilMissSunshine9 · 15/03/2015 20:59

Only time I notice is if someone is wearing something that is clearly far too small/tight for them and its all spilling out/over. Lately on my train commute there is a girl who roughly same size as me but she dresses so well (whereas I stick to boring black and muted colours) that I didn't even notice on my first look that she was similar in size to me - then I did I was like wow I really need to just be more braver with my wardrobe.

FoulsomeAndMaggotwise · 15/03/2015 21:02

Yes I do notice other women's bellies, but only because that's the area I'm most insecure about myself so I'm weighing up where on the abs-spectrum I sit.

I've got a 19 month old and a 16 day old and I'm desperately unhappy with my belly. Early days though, as it is with you. We'll get there.

SaucyJack · 15/03/2015 21:08

16 days? Unless that was a typo you might wanna be a bit kinder to yourself.

Leafitout · 15/03/2015 21:12

My muffin top has now grown into a two tier cake and I don't care. You had a beautiful baby 14 weeks ago so go easy on yourself. Your body is beautiful and produced a little bundle of joy.

TheHappinessTrap · 15/03/2015 21:14

Op, I wish I head your problem, and there are other women or there like me who would rather have a lovely family at the cost of a bit of belly. Do whatever makes you happy. Presumably that does not involve giving too much credence to unimportant criticism!

TyrannosaurusBex · 15/03/2015 21:16

I spend a lot of time on the beach and when I see a larger woman in a bikini I tend to think 'good for you' and admire her. If she's spilling out of something too small, not so much.

Tanaqui · 15/03/2015 21:33

I'm sorry for your loss Kitty.

Give yourself time op.

jeanmiguelfangio · 15/03/2015 22:13

Nope! I don't notice other women's bits like that! I always seem to think other women are better dressed than me, and I am always pretty complimentary. Although granted if your g string is on show or anyone is wearing black knickers and white trousers, I'm probably going to judge!

sykadelic · 15/03/2015 23:08

Yes I do, but mostly in a "why can't I look that good with my gut?" type way or a "not everyone is perfect" kind of way. SIL for example has a bit of a gut and she's quite small. I noticed it the other day and instead of judging her for having the gut, it made me feel better about myself to know I wasn't alone and even smaller people can have one (it's my last place to gain weight, my hips and thighs come first).

There was this woman at Uni who was much bigger than I was and she dressed so well and carried it so well. She honestly looked amazing and though she was bigger than me, I wished I looked as good as her!

eurochick · 15/03/2015 23:13

I notice but don't judge. It is still early days, particularly after a section. I think it is important to recognise that your shape has probably changed and dress to flatter it. I feel much better in new clothes that fit me well than my pre preg clothes, even though I can still get into most of them (I'm 8 months pp and also had a CS).

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