Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To be shocked by something's I'm reading this morning

51 replies

dancestomyowntune · 15/03/2015 10:36

Ok it's a Mother's Day one.

I am shocked and appalled by some of the posts from people dissappointed with the efforts of their children and husbands. Can people not just be pleased with what they have? I have five children, one I'm currently say with in SCBU as she was 10 weeks early and. Still shouldn't be here, but my best "present" today has been from the doctor saying she can be discharged tomorrow.

The four at home: 5 year old made me a beautiful card with daffodils painted on it at school. 7 yo coloured a card at Sunday school and made me a magnet (not too sure what it's meant to be but it's beautiful- abstract art!). 8 yo also coloured me a card. 12 yo bought me a card and a vanilla scented candle and (more importantly) got up without being asked this morning and brought me a cuppa in bed. The shock of this is only just wearing off! .

The rest of the day will be the same as any other I expect. Before coming to the hospital I prepped the veg and left instructions for the cooking of the Roast beef. I put a load of washing on and did the breakfast dishes. The only difference is we are going to attend a special Mother's Day service at the church this evening, which I am looking forward to immensely, just because it is so unusual for us all to be together in one place. (Except, of course , the baby).

Can people stop and think about all the people without a mother to spoil today? Or the women desperate to be a mother who haven't managed it yet? Or the mothers whose children have passed away? Have so compassion people!

OP posts:

blueballoon79 · 15/03/2015 10:39

I agree. I'm appalled too as the whining and ungratefulness. I really feel for the poor children who have gone to so much effort only for their mothers to then come on Mumsnet and start a thread about how disappointed they are.
It's so childish, ungrateful and awful to read.

suzzieanneba46 · 15/03/2015 10:45

Yanbu, ungrateful bitches.

Ohfourfoxache · 15/03/2015 10:47

So pleased to hear that dd is going to be discharged tomorrow Dance - you must be so relieved What a wonderful present to get that news today

Totally agree with you - surely there can be absolutely nothing nicer than a great big kiss and cuddle from your dc, anything else is an enormous bonus.

cece · 15/03/2015 10:48

I agree with you op and I've not been given anything yet - well I have had a long awaited lie in whilst dh took dc3 to rugby. dc1 is still asleep (teenager). dc2 is away camping.

I'm grateful they are all healthy and happy.

CatsCantTwerk · 15/03/2015 10:50

How lovely your dd will be coming home!

I completely agree with what You have said. I knew it was a bad idea to put MN on this morning I just can not fathom some of the stuff that is getting posted and it is actually making me cross.

Frusso · 15/03/2015 10:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 15/03/2015 10:52

I love my children and am very grateful they are here with me and well.
I am not grateful for their bad attitude though and wont hide that. Its like someone being upset their husband cheats on them and someone saying 'well be lucky you've got one- some people's husbands have died'
Silly really. If its all about what gifts people did or didnt get I agree though

MonstrousRatbag · 15/03/2015 10:52

I disagree only with one thing-I don't think other people having a harder time is really relevant to how people do or should feel about their own families. I lost my father recently, and I wouldn't dream of telling anyone on Father's Day to put up with thoughtlessness or worse because at least their father was alive.

But on the complaining and ungratefulness, I completely agree. Do these women watch too much telly or something? Is everything supposed to be all perfect and shiny and expensive like a reality TV programme?

It does come across as immature.

And how fantastic that your daughter is going home-give her a little nose rub and a Well Done! from me!

thenextday · 15/03/2015 10:54

Yes there are some miserable bitches on here bemoaning their crap Mothers Day.

They must have vacuous lives if the only way they feel valued is through a bunch of daffs and a Clinton's card.

CrystalCove · 15/03/2015 10:56

Yanbu. Are some people do materialistic that they've forgotten it's about love?

velvetspoon · 15/03/2015 10:57

Agreed. I sometimes get a present/ card from the DC, but if I don't it's no big deal. Eldest DC has been at his dad's for a few days due to behaviour issues...having him back here is present enough, esp since his behaviour so far seems to have improved 100fold.

Also my mum died when I was 21, so am also thinking of those who don't have a mum, like my cousins whose mum died last April and who are spending this mothers day laying flowers for her at the cemetery

ghostspirit · 15/03/2015 11:08

im on the fence. i know that some mums are having difficult times children in hospital etc.

But also some mums dont even get an aknowledgement on mothers day. i think its great when kids make something for their mum or just do something kind say something kind anything just for a form of aknowledgement.

my oldest is 17 and i have never had aknowledgement of mothers day. no cards no kind words nothing. this year i gave a massive hint, i put it on fb and said so 'L' are you going to do something nice for me on mothers day. her reply was i nearly chocked when i saw that.... it was only when couple people said something she took it on board but she had to be kind of lectured first so it feels a bit forced...

she said she has no money. and i said if she wanted to buy something i dont care if i pay for it. its about her taking a couple hours out of her day just to go to the shops and put her self out a bit just to pick something nice. or even if its not buying something then just to do something nice in general.

anyway i know she went and bought a couple of bits not sure what it is. but she has not said a word to me about it yet.

Moln · 15/03/2015 11:08

Ok so I agree in parts and disagree in parts with your OP.

Yes there are some ungrateful mothers who dislike what their child has given them because it's not good enough, such as if you had complained about the abstract magnet.

But you can't lump the mums who feel upset that no bothered at all, especially as everyone of your children did something, regardless of the face you had to prep dinner.

Wonderful that your baby can come home though. Nothing can top that I bet.

Eva50 · 15/03/2015 11:11

Ds2 (17) has hoovered downstairs and ds3 made me a card in school with a lovely poem (although the line about my being as tall as a tree trunk left a lot to be desired). DH brought me porridge in bed and put the potatoes in the sink ready for me to peel before he went off to his sport. Ds1 is yet to emerge and then we will go swimming. I'm having a lovely day.

I'm so glad your little dd is getting home. Ds3 was in NICU/SBCU and it was so, so hard

PacificDogwood · 15/03/2015 11:12

YANBU.

Mother's Day is only equal to Valentine's Day at artificially inflating expectations and creating disappointed when some kind of weird standard is not met.

Nobody in this house has even mentioned MD yet - I know they will when they remember . I know not to expect gifts as they know that I intensely dislike MD.
I expect (and am!) to be loved and respected every day. I'd rather have random flowers any old day than today of all days tbh.

And congratulations on your baby coming home - best of all MD's presents

WotNoLoobrush · 15/03/2015 11:13

I've tried hiding 'those' threads but they keep reappearing...oh well

VeryStressedMum · 15/03/2015 11:16

So far I have got nothing. I'm sure cards are coming when they finally surface though. I'm making breakfast and have the beef on for dinner. Do I care? No because my family are here in the house somewhere, safe and healthy and they love me. That's what mothers day is all about.

ElectraCute · 15/03/2015 11:21

I knew this place would be bonkers this morning. Agree that there is some really unpleasant and entitled princessy behaviour from posters today. It's a bloody card-flogging exercise anyway! Pathetic.

TheFairyCaravan · 15/03/2015 11:22

YANBU there are some very ungrateful women on here this morning.

My children (18&20) have bought me a gift and some daffodils and DS2 made me cry with the words he wrote in my card. He made me breakfast in bed. DS1 isn't here, he's in the army and was on exercise all week, had very little sleep so wasn't safe to drive the 4:5 hours home.

Last year DH and I were on holiday in Cape Verde for Mothers Day. There was a woman there with her DP and she moaned the whole bloody day that her DC hadn't texted or called. The signal was shit, DH used to have to walk to the other end of the hotel of a night to text our kids. I sat in the sun listening to her moan, thinking STFU!

I think people's expectations are too high wrt Valentines Day and Mothers Day and that's why they are disappointed. In a minute I shall get on with a normal Sunday.

Ludways · 15/03/2015 11:30

Normal day here, I'm stood in a cold and windy field watching football atm. Dd and dsd are refusing to get out of the car! Lol

I got a card and a bottle of wine earlier, I'm thrilled with. We're off to see mil after this then to the best bit of the day, I'm going to see DM.

Ludways · 15/03/2015 11:32

Glad your dd is coming home tomorrow!

SaucyJack · 15/03/2015 11:36

I think YABU. Can you not step outside your own life for one second and think how disappointing it must be that your kids couldn't be arsed to colour you in a picture or buy a box of Maltesers? (Age appropriateness aside).

People are allowed to have their own feelings about their own lives, that are nothing to do with with anybody else's.

And no, I'm not grinding my own axe here- I'm up to my neck in plates if cold toast. I just can scrape together a bit of empathy.

mommy2ash · 15/03/2015 11:44

I honestly can't believe some of the posts on here today. I think if you go into anything with unrealistic e expectations you will be disappointed. I'm a single mother and I hate mothers day as my poor dd gets upset she doesn't have a real present for me. I could care less about presents. she made me a beautiful card and that's all I want. I offered family members money to take her shopping but they all said they were too busy. they will all be showing off the gifts they got at lunch today and I don't want to go now cos my little girl is hurt and I want to spare her feelings.

ghostspirit · 15/03/2015 11:45

i agree with jack i have noticed mostly on this thread mums have had a little something weather its a picture. a cared their kids being kind or their partners doing something. some parents get nothing not even words. and i can understand them feeling a bit hurt

Original poster

dancestomyowntune · 15/03/2015 11:58

I am not moaning about people moaning who genuinely haven't had anything, but I have seen posts this morning where women HAVE had a card, breakfast made for them, whatever and it's just not good enough. That's what shocked and appalled me.

Ok, I accept other peoples bad fortunes are not a reason not to celebrate. And I have had something from my children, my point is don't expect to be spoilt and then you won't be dissappointed. I know my children love me and appreciate me, I don't need Mother's Day to reinforce that.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3