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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked by something's I'm reading this morning

51 replies

dancestomyowntune · 15/03/2015 10:36

Ok it's a Mother's Day one.

I am shocked and appalled by some of the posts from people dissappointed with the efforts of their children and husbands. Can people not just be pleased with what they have? I have five children, one I'm currently say with in SCBU as she was 10 weeks early and. Still shouldn't be here, but my best "present" today has been from the doctor saying she can be discharged tomorrow.

The four at home: 5 year old made me a beautiful card with daffodils painted on it at school. 7 yo coloured a card at Sunday school and made me a magnet (not too sure what it's meant to be but it's beautiful- abstract art!). 8 yo also coloured me a card. 12 yo bought me a card and a vanilla scented candle and (more importantly) got up without being asked this morning and brought me a cuppa in bed. The shock of this is only just wearing off! Grin.

The rest of the day will be the same as any other I expect. Before coming to the hospital I prepped the veg and left instructions for the cooking of the Roast beef. I put a load of washing on and did the breakfast dishes. The only difference is we are going to attend a special Mother's Day service at the church this evening, which I am looking forward to immensely, just because it is so unusual for us all to be together in one place. (Except, of course , the baby).

Can people stop and think about all the people without a mother to spoil today? Or the women desperate to be a mother who haven't managed it yet? Or the mothers whose children have passed away? Have so compassion people!

OP posts:
Spartak · 15/03/2015 11:58

So you tell us all about the lovely things that four of your children have done and your plans for family time today, and then ask people to have compassion for those without children. Ok then.

jeee · 15/03/2015 11:58

DD (7) gave me probably the worst ever Mother's day present - a key ring with an enormous gold plastic dollar sign as the fob. Classy. I struggled to keep a straight face. It was purchased from the PTA shop at school. I can't imagine what possessed them to offer them for the Mothering Sunday sale.

I love it and will be attaching it to my keys.

jeee · 15/03/2015 11:59

And OP, what wonderful news about your dd.

Preciousbane · 15/03/2015 12:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 15/03/2015 12:02

Good news OP Smile

I honestly couldn't give a shiny shite about mothers day and don't really understand why people get so precious about it! Then again, I don't give a shite about xmas and birthdays….maybe I'm just miserable Grin

HoraceCope · 15/03/2015 12:09

I agree, and barely any posts about people's own mothers

scallopsrgreat · 15/03/2015 12:11

I think it's a culmination of a lack of appreciation all year. And then not being particularly appreciated on the day you are supposed to be.

HoraceCope · 15/03/2015 12:12

my teens took me out for breakfast Grin normally get it cooked for me, my dh used to get into a right sweat about the whole morning and spend the afternoon sleeping it off!
but he is at work, one of my teens works in a pub in the morning so it was her idea for me to go there for breakfast, intially so she could serve me, but turns out she wanted to eat too Grin, which she did!
and my own mother is coming over for a meal later.

people seem very self centred on some threads.

Panzee · 15/03/2015 12:15

Ooh I've missed these threads! Off for a nosey. :o

OP, that's great news about your youngest.

Mrsjayy · 15/03/2015 12:18

I think the whinging and whining Is. Sad feeling unappreciated and not worthy of a card must feel awful iyswim I do think sometimes they just want a little recognition which is fair enough but the ungrateful whiny woe is me threads is getting on my wick tbh

HoraceCope · 15/03/2015 12:19

when my dc were younger, brownies and/or school did mother's day gifts. i think that helped immensely.

HoraceCope · 15/03/2015 12:20

sorry not just brownies but also scouts

Viviennemary · 15/03/2015 12:21

I must say the communications from some petulant spoilt people at being disappointed with Mother's day are a bit grating to say the least. Some folk should count their blessings.

Mrsjayy · 15/03/2015 12:22

My eldest is workin dd2g has just got up will probably get a card later and they will organise dinner I'm quite cointent with that

Mrsjayy · 15/03/2015 12:26

Dd2 made me a candle at guides years ago I have an aversion to vanilla smell I said out loud oh my god it's vanilla and pulled a face not my finest parenting momentBlush

Crocodopolis · 15/03/2015 12:52

Wishing a Happy Mother's Day to all. Flowers

Pixa · 15/03/2015 13:00

YANBU.

I have been TTC-ing for six months. Not long, but long enough to start resenting those who are being ungrateful.

Rather than moping around, I have thrown every effort into my mum's and MILs day. We hosted a brunch, baked and decorated a cake and now I am decorating my mum's living room.

My poor sister miscarried twins late last year. I hate to think how she will be feeling reading about ungrateful people. Sad

unlucky83 · 15/03/2015 13:31

DP working from 4am.
DD1 (14) nothing ...Hmm - said maybe I could have one of her drawings later -in revenge I gave a lecture which included the line 'I had to push you out my bottom' GrinWink - which apparently is gross Grin -hopefully so gross that she will be inclined to make me a card next year Wink
No real lie in for me (I did try) DD2 (8) was desperate for me to get up so she could give me the 'surprise' card she'd made at school (found it on Friday when i was going through her school bag - I pretended not to notice Grin), she has made a decorated jam jar vase for me with tulips in it at Sunday school and a paper heart at brownies.
She also offered to peg a load of washing out for me as it is mother's day - had images of needing to wash it all again so I said she could hand me the pegs instead that would be a big help. I've just stood there freezing as she selected the 'right' pegs -took about three times longer than if I'd done it myself Grin.
So so far I'm having a good day...suspect DP will turn up with a bought card and flowers etc - none of which I want or need ...rather he took DD2 out (and DD1 if he can unweld her from her laptop/room) and let me have an afternoon reading then cooked dinner tonight ....now that would be perfect.

Missdread · 15/03/2015 13:35

I really think it's more about feeling undervalued all the time and then on the one day your family are "supposed" to make a bit of an effort, nobody bothers....

Abrico · 15/03/2015 13:36

Very glad your baby can come home!

I am so surprised at the anxiety around Mother's Day in the UK! It doesn't seem worth it to me: all the worry about what you got or didn't get...
I much prefer the way it is celebrated in Germany where we live (on a different day though): around here it is taken as a day off from being a Mum. So you go out with your Mum friends, to the spa, or for lunch, or quite often to get completely pissed in the afternoon! Much better, and because you organise it yourself, you get to do exactly what you want!

swazza · 15/03/2015 13:40

Yeah all the ungrateful bitches to get a grip! Hmm

How fucking dare they feel hard done by! Hmm

Some people just don't know what side their bread is buttered do they?

butterfly2015 · 15/03/2015 13:51

I've not seen these threads but if anyone thinks their gifts or cards aren't good enough I feel sorry for the kids who've made them.

My oldest made me a moonpig card, a frozen one....inside it said enjoy your day off as its the only one you get all year...which made me laugh. She's a good kid, helps at home, looked after youngest last night so we could go out.

Youngest made me a card at school. She drew a picture of me where I am super slim with long blonde hair. I love it!!!

Tinklypink · 15/03/2015 13:55

I have never had a mother's day - my son is 10 and has ASD plus I am single mum - I have had friends sometimes support for birthday and Christmas but Mother's Day didn't matter so never bothered.

But he wanted to this year - that would have been enough and I said so but I know an obsession brewing when I see one so I gave him some money, which he refused and got some from his own bank (which I will quietly put back in a few weeks) and took him to the shop. I had a card, daffs, chocolates and a travel mug Grin - I made him put back the expensive presents he wanted to get....

I can't tell you how grateful I a - not because I got a present but he recognised that it would be nice for me to be acknowledged and Thanked as a mum. Makes up for the past 10years of nothing Grin

Summerbreezer · 15/03/2015 14:15

YABU.

Firstly, OP, I really hope you get your wish and your DC is discharged from SCBU soon. Flowers

However, presents and cards are never relevant in themselves - it is about the defeat of expectations and WHAT THAT MEANS.

So for one mum, not getting a card/present from her baby (bought by her DP) says something to her about the way the DP sees her as a mother and how he values her. It is not about the lack of present.

I haven't seen all the threads, but the ones I have seen are ostensibly about presents and cards - but say far more about relationships.

Also, pain is not relative. The pain of a mother whose has lost their child to drug addiction (for example) is not dimmed by the knowledge that there are mothers in the developing world who know their child won't reach 5. Life doesn't work that way.

Eva50 · 15/03/2015 15:21

I agree, and barely any posts about people's own mothers

My mother used to tell me not to buy her flowers for Mother's Day as they were twice as expensive as any other day and she thought her local florist was too well off anyway. We used to make up a box of M&S food to take to her as she loved their food but didn't have one locally. Sadly she is no longer with us but I still get to the checkout in M&S to find I have picked up something for her.

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