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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking that this is not a police matter?

51 replies

WilburIsSomePig · 14/03/2015 14:20

My sister has received an anonymous letter. It says it contains some 'home truths' about her and makes some not very nice statements about her i.e. she's a gossip, people laugh at her etc. It's not pleasant but makes no threats against her or anything. She is going to contact the police about it, I think she should just forget about it as its obv just some twat. I also don't believe its a police matter but she insists they'll be able to 'track down the writer'. I reckon that a) they won't and b) they've kind of got other things to do. AIBU?

OP posts:
Quitelikely · 14/03/2015 14:23

Yes this is a police matter. There could be other letters going around the neighbourhood.

AliceLidlLovesWindlePoons · 14/03/2015 14:27

It's malicious communication, so yes it is a police matter.

Other people could be receiving similar letters, or this could be the first of many against your sister. If she receives a second letter, or the sender does something else to upset or frighten her, I think it can be classed as harassment.

The police might do nothing more than log the issue, but she's right to go to them.

People like this are counting on not being reported. What a nasty and cowardly thing for them to do to her.

ilovesooty · 14/03/2015 14:28

Yes, it's a police matter. How horrible for her.

mumhum · 14/03/2015 14:30

Yes it is a police matter, your sister should not have to put up with something like this. Either malicious communications and/or harassment. Quitelikely and Alice are right, the twat may be harassing other people too. And who says it's not the start of something more sinister.

Seriouslyffs · 14/03/2015 14:33

Did you write the letter? If a family member of mine was upset I'd support them in. You don't sound very supportive.

Salmotrutta · 14/03/2015 14:34

How horrible!

And yes, it's a police matter.

Might even come under Defamation of Character?

MrsFlannel · 14/03/2015 14:34

as its obv just some twat

You don't know that. It could be the start of serious stalking. YABVU. Support your sister this sort of thing is AWFUL. She will be wondering about every single friend and acquaintance now! She won't feel safe or normal.

Boreoff456 · 14/03/2015 14:34

It definitely worth reporting to the police, even if all they do is record it for future, in case it happens again. Or incase its happening everywhere. We had police on our doorstep a while ago as a few neighbours had reported plants going missing out on front gardens. We had, had some go missing but didn't report it as we didn't think it was that serious. The officer told us we should just so they can see if any patterns of petty crime are emerging, apparently. I didn't even consider it at the time.

MrsFlannel · 14/03/2015 14:35

seriously I thought that too. But didn't say it Grin OP if you did write it, you should come clean. If you didn't then start being more understanding.

Boreoff456 · 14/03/2015 14:35

Also does she have any clue who it is? If not there won't be much they can actually do about it at the moment.

Salmotrutta · 14/03/2015 14:40

Unless they can get DNA off the envelope flap and it matches someone on their database!

EllaFitzgerald · 14/03/2015 14:44

I wouldn't have thought that it would be very easy for her to just forget about it either. She must be wondering who, of her friends, family and acquaintances, feels so hateful towards her that they'd do such a cowardly and spiteful thing. I do hope you're being supportive.

FenellaFellorick · 14/03/2015 15:00

Absolutely she should record it with the police.
They probably wont launch an international investigation or anything! But they'll log it and if theres more coming, they have the information they need to see a pattern.
Plus if whoever wrote it knows she went to the police they might think twice before being a vile cowardly sack of shit again.

liketohelp · 14/03/2015 15:35

Yes it is a police matter.

It would be good to go in to the police station so that an officer actually sees the letter as evidence of what your sister reports.

Your sister should keep the letter safely, and keep or log anything else suspicious, and of course report anything else to the police.

Is the letter/envelope dated? Record the date.

Summerisle1 · 14/03/2015 15:48

as its obv just some twat

Not sure how this analysis excuses the sending of malicious communications. As pps have said, this definitely is a police matter. Obvs.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 14/03/2015 15:49

of course its a police matter, poison pen letters are vile, and as PP have said, can be the tip of the iceberg as regards other forms of nastiness eg malicious damage, stalking, and even potential violence towards the victim

is your sister in any sort of "minority" that might make her a target due to her race or sexuality etc? that alone makes it a hate crime

PHANTOMnamechanger · 14/03/2015 15:52

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malicious_Communications_Act_1988

if you are in any doubt that it is a serious matter

Floggingmolly · 14/03/2015 15:58

Why are you so keen for her not to report it?? Hmm

BubblesInMyBath · 14/03/2015 16:01

It's definitely a police matter

I can kind of understand why you may have thought she was being melodramatic about it but if you think it through as others have said this could be part of a much bigger problem. Similar happened to a family member once and it was very frightening - especially knowing someone with malicious feelings knew the address

SharkCat · 14/03/2015 16:21

the police will take a report but wont do anything so its kind of pointless. I had someone leave a note on my car before and pour paint on it, nothing happened.

JoffreyBaratheon · 14/03/2015 16:50

I doubt they will spend this year's entire police budget on tracking anyone down, TBH, but it is a malicious communication. Even if they find the person, they just warn them. It is once they carry on and breach the warning, that the coppers finally get their finger out.

They have to establish a 'course of action' and apparently that is more than two "events" (letters, emails, whatever). My ex was done for harassment and had sent me hundreds of emails by the time I went to the police, literally hundreds. But as they hadn't warned him, they counted all those as one. Once he breached the warning - they then arrested, descended on him, etc. But they knew who it was, in my case.

I doubt they'd spend too much time or money til they have a course of action, in other words.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 14/03/2015 16:55

I take it you agree with the things said in the letter as you referred to them as home truths?

Original poster
WilburIsSomePig · 14/03/2015 16:57

FFS people think I would actually write something like this to my own sister FFS? She's my sister, I love her and I'm the one who she came to because she knows I will and do support her. At no point did I say that I didn't want her to report it, I asked because I don't want her to be made to feel a dick if they don't take her seriously and I thought that they probably wouldn't. And yes, I DO think it's some twat who is probably jealous of her and I don't want her dwelling on it.

OP posts:
Original poster
WilburIsSomePig · 14/03/2015 16:58

The letter referred to them as 'home truths', not me. Hence my use of inverted commas.

OP posts:
Original poster
WilburIsSomePig · 14/03/2015 17:01

bubbles I don't really think she's being melodramatic, its really unpleasant. But I suppose I just don't want it to get to her.

OP posts:
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