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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

in thinking that this is not a police matter?

51 replies

WilburIsSomePig · 14/03/2015 14:20

My sister has received an anonymous letter. It says it contains some 'home truths' about her and makes some not very nice statements about her i.e. she's a gossip, people laugh at her etc. It's not pleasant but makes no threats against her or anything. She is going to contact the police about it, I think she should just forget about it as its obv just some twat. I also don't believe its a police matter but she insists they'll be able to 'track down the writer'. I reckon that a) they won't and b) they've kind of got other things to do. AIBU?

OP posts:

ihatelego · 14/03/2015 17:04

she should definitely report it to the police.

ihatelego · 14/03/2015 17:04

*they'll also be able to help her deal with it via services like victim support as it's not nice to happen at all.

SolidGoldBrass · 14/03/2015 17:07

The police will take it seriously, because it's very rare that a malicious letter like this is a one-off. The sender will almost certainly send another letter or do something else obnoxious. Does your sister have any idea who it might be? It sounds like it's from someone who knows her (as opposed to something like generalised racist or sexist abuse, where the sender might be harder to track down).

Jessica147 · 14/03/2015 17:10

She should report it via 101. It might be just a one off, or it might be the start of something more serious.

Original poster

WilburIsSomePig · 14/03/2015 17:10

She has contacted the police. They gave her a reference number and told her to 'pop the letter in next time she's passing'. So now that some posters have given thoughtful advice, what should she do now? She's going to take the letter in and then what?

OP posts:

Bunbaker · 14/03/2015 17:11

Of course it is a police matter. Why would you think it wasn't?

It is nasty and malicious.

BackforGood · 14/03/2015 17:15

Well, totally against the grain here, but if I received something as childish as that, I'd raise one eyebrow, shred it, and give it no further thought.
I really think the police have more pressing things to be doing.

Original poster

WilburIsSomePig · 14/03/2015 17:15

Solid it's definitely someone who knows her, you can tell by the content. Reading back I can actually see how my OP could be construed as a bit flippant but it wasn't actually written that way in my head IYKWIM. But how anyone could accuse me of writing it is beyond me. I just want her not to be bothered by it and go 'fuck em'.

OP posts:

Tapirbackrider · 14/03/2015 17:15

If there is a twat out there who is jealous enough of your sister to write and send her a letter, do you really think they will just stop at a letter?

The writer obviously knows her, well enough to write what they have, and to know where she lives. She (and you) would be well advised to take this seriously and report this to the police.

It could be just a neighbour with a grudge, who has written several of these to various locals, or it could be somebody closer to her with nastier intentions.

Tapirbackrider · 14/03/2015 17:17

Ah x-posted in the time it took me to type my previous reply.

Glad she's reported it.

SukieTuesday · 14/03/2015 17:24

Getting a record of it is sensible as if anything else happened (odd phonecalls or malicious reports to SS) it would be easy to see the pattern of harassment. Having said that, the odds are that absolutely nothing will happen and the biggest risk to your sister is obsessing over the letter and who wrote it.

I saw a piece about Sadie Frost and the phone hacking newspapers carried out against her. She it was damaging because she fell out with friends as she thought they must be the ones leaking personal information about her and where she was going to be. The doubt caused a lot of upset. I'd encourage your sister to see handing over the letter to the police as handing over the responsibility for worrying about it too. Let them play detective (they'll probably just stick it in a file but she doesn't need that pointing out).

cozietoesie · 14/03/2015 17:24

You should watch (And also Parts 2,3 and 4 - I think the links are there.)

Jessica147 · 14/03/2015 17:26

wilbur, probably nothing will happen. But at least if something else happens (eg another letter) she's already reported this one.

I really hate the idea "police have better things to do". Well, actually, they don't have better things to do than log and investigate crimes.

Pipbin · 14/03/2015 17:30

Are any of the comments actually particular to her. Things like 'everyone laughs at you' could be said to any of us really. Is there anything in the letter that suggests the writer knows her?
I wonder if this is just a random letter from someone who gets kicks out of sending hateful stuff to random people.
To say that 'it's just some twat' is underestimating how upsetting something like this can be.

As said above, I would go to the police with it but don't expect too much of a response.

Pipbin · 14/03/2015 17:31

Sorry, wrote that before I read the post from the OP saying the writer knows her.

gobbin · 14/03/2015 17:34

Obvious, but make sure she takes a copy of it before she drops it in.

BoatsAgainstTheCurrent · 14/03/2015 17:45

Sorry but the pointed accusations are ... "Hm, is it YOU op?"
'Ah, yeah, I thought I'd send a malicious letter to my sister then start a thread about the letter on mn!'

Hope that this is a one-off and that your sister receives no more letters like this.

Boreoff456 · 14/03/2015 18:13

I hate the 'police have better stuff to do' ridiculous. This is what the police are for. This is their job. Hopefully it will be a one off and its all good. If not there is record of it, which makes it easier to do something about if is escalates. She needs to drop the letter in and let them copy it. If possible she should retain the original.

finnbarrcar · 14/03/2015 18:18

Someone took the time to sit down and write nasty stuff about your sister, then they had the balls to actually send it. They clearly hate her. They might be capable of something much more unpleasant than this so it has to be addressed now before it escalates. I can't understand why you would want to minimize this and disagree with her involving the police, it doesn't seem very supportive to me.

Maybe you think it's no big deal and she should shrug it off, but it didn't happen to YOU, did it?

Viviennemary · 14/03/2015 18:21

Yes you can report it to the police. Sending anonymous letters with spiteful gossip is a criminal offence. At least it is in Agatha Christie novels.

gamerchick · 14/03/2015 18:22

Tell her to scan it and then hand it in to be logged.

Always log nasty stuff whether yourself or malicious stuff like this with the police. It usually always comes in handy.

ShanVanVocht · 14/03/2015 18:25

I wouldn't have contacted the police. Not every bad thing people do is a police matter. It's not like they are actually going to do anything about it, so why bother?

Tobyjugg · 14/03/2015 19:08

Of course it's a police matter. How do you know this is the only letter and your sister is the only recipient. How do you now that the writer didn't make threats in some of the others or that they won't start making threats to your sister in some future ones.

Bunbaker · 14/03/2015 19:15

I most definitely is a police matter. Someone I know has been receiving anonymous stuff through the post recently and the police took it very seriously.

Original poster

WilburIsSomePig · 14/03/2015 19:17

finn have you read all of my posts?

OP posts:

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