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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder if we rush our children through childhood too quickly?

64 replies

Notmymuse · 14/03/2015 08:48

Ds is 5 - six in a few months - and a lot of the children in his class are already 6. Quite a few of the parents have mentioned that their child doesn't play with toys anymore now they're older so they had things like iPads, MP3 players, tvs, games consoles etc.
I've also noticed that my friends with similar aged children are starting to get rid of things like play doh, dolls, cars, trains, role play toys etc as they feel they are too babyish for their child. Many of these toys are aged 3 plus so if by 5 they've outgrown them all you don't get much mileage out of them.
I'm pretty sure at 5 or 6 I was still playing with toys. I work in a year 4 class and actually if we use play doh or 'proper toys' for anything they adore it. For example we had a wooden farm out the other day and there was a race for it.

I just wonder if generally now we rush our children through childhood. I suppose it depends on the individual child and what they like doing and I know some children never really like playing with toys at all. It just seems sad to think that at the age of 6 toys are babyish.

OP posts:

Original poster

Notmymuse · 14/03/2015 08:54

Oh and playmobil! One friend has got rid of all the playmobil because her 5 year old has outgrown it. I wish I'd known -we'd have had it!

OP posts:

TheBitterBoy · 14/03/2015 09:03

I agree. My DS is nearly 7 and still plays with playmobil, play doh and his toy kitchen. All things that some of his other friends mums have got rid of. I remember still playing with toys well beyond the age of ten.

PegLegAntoine · 14/03/2015 09:06

YANBU. You might find the book 'the hurried child' (David Elkins I think) a good read

PegLegAntoine · 14/03/2015 09:07

Elkind* sorry, bloody purple pop-up keeps obscuring the text box!

TwoOddSocks · 14/03/2015 09:09

Bloody hell - outgrown toys at 5?! YANBU. It's so strange in most countries kids haven't even started school at 5.

Eastpoint · 14/03/2015 09:09

Dcs were still playing with playmobile in year 6. Characters are really good for narrative play. Unstructured play is really important, play dough is great for improving fine motor skills and all these things are fun.

MrsGoslingWannabe · 14/03/2015 09:11

I agree with you. Its sad as I really think too much screen time stops them being imaginative and they can almost 'forget' how to play with toys.

GladysTheGolem · 14/03/2015 09:11

Yanbu
It's like we're creating a nation of kids who'll only use tech & need a snack every hour, basically Wall-E is happening!

It's so lovely seeing kids use their imagination to make games out of nothing, I'd hate to take that innocence away from them too early.

Original poster

Notmymuse · 14/03/2015 09:13

I feel it's almost part of competitive parenting 'oh my child had outgrown toys' although I suppose there probably are some children who genuinely don't want to play with toys.
Ds likes dinosaurs and has loads of them - including playmobil ones - and a friend said 'oh yes, my ds liked dinosaurs when he was 3, he's outgrown them now though.'
There's a difference between outgrowing something and just changing interests I think, how can you outgrow dinosaurs?! They're awesome!

OP posts:

WilsonWilsonWoman · 14/03/2015 09:17

So sad, my 7 nearly 8 yo dd is still fully engrossed in a whole ream of toys and role play situations with dolls and lego and I would never dream of suggesting this stop. A friend of mine recently told me her BIL has instructed his 3 yo ds to call his mother 'mom' and not 'mommy' (American friend) as it's babyish. The little lad is THREE!

53Dragon · 14/03/2015 09:18

My two are 19 and 21 and it was no different when they were little. Ds1 had a Mickey Mouse bath towel passed on to him because the 8 year old donor apparently found it too babyish. Ds1 still uses it as a sports towel whereas donor child had a pretty bad skunk habit by the time he was 15. Just saying...

Idontseeanydragons · 14/03/2015 09:19

YANBU. An old friend recently visited me for the first time in a while and saw our big dolls house in the playroom (I'm a CM so the spare room became the playroom). She immediately assumed it belonged to our youngest daughter who's 3 because 'of course' at 9 years old our other DD is too old to play with dolls.
In fact they both play with it it regularly and neither show any signs of stopping.
Likewise 14 year old DS still has his huge collection of hot wheel cars - I've seen half a dozen teenage boys in his room getting them out before now! It happens less as they get older of course but we would never tell them they're too old for toys, they're still children.
It does indeed sometimes feel like WALL - E is happening sadly.

DontOpenDeadInside · 14/03/2015 09:20

Dp keeps ribbing dd1 (11) because she still plays with barbies and has a massive dolls house for them. I've told him to leave her be, I'd rather her playing with dolls than walking the streets causing trouble like other kids (we're not in a very nice area) She does have an internet tablet which id say she goes on 50/50 betwen that and her dolls.
Dd2 and 3 (5 and 6) still have loads of toys and can't see them out growing them anytime soon. But again they love minecraft/roblox and change between the 2 all the time. It's so sad kids are growing up too fast already, why would you (general you) want to speed it up even more?

NigellasGuest · 14/03/2015 09:21

I'm imagining a gigantic child, bigger than a diplodocus!

Seriously though this sounds awful - I'm sure i still played with dolls at age 11 - it could be misguided competitive parenting or something? My DD is 18 now but I remember thinking WTF? when another mum seemed to turn her nose up at the duplo DD was playing with at age 2 or 3 - saying her DS was now "on to" Lego. Who cares!!

HellBoundNothingFound · 14/03/2015 09:22

YANBU DD is six, nearing seven and loves her toys still. We have an ipad but she's only allowed it for half an hour before bedtime reading. If I were to remove her toys, my life wouldn't be worth living for the grief I'd get, however I don't know many kids her age who don't have toys, I'm not sure it happens as much as we think?

MsColouring · 14/03/2015 09:23

When I suggested to dp that I get my ds who is playmobil pirates for Christmas he thought ds was too old for them as he spends a lot of time on his tablet and playing Minecraft. As it turns out, they were a great buy - ds loves them and they have kept his away from the tablet.

My 8 year old dd still has her doll's house but it is more of a decoration now.

ragged · 14/03/2015 09:25

we have loads of screen devices & DC still play loads with toys. Screens are just another type of toy, not incompatible at all. I expect toys will still be closely loved until about age 12, based on older DC. After that they start letting go (a bit). Thank goodness because I need to declutter by then!

I am surprised when MNers propose books like The Hunger Games for 8yos, though. Or books for 7-8yos that were written for 10-12 yos and I know I didn't read them until that age (and I wasn't mature enough to get much out of them before that age, either).

TendonQueen · 14/03/2015 09:26

We still have baby/toddler toys to get rid of and when DS catches sight of them he always wants to play. Loves all manner of Playmobil / Lego type figures, Imaginext things and so on. How can anyone have outgrown PlayMobil at 5? It's also a shame that people seem to think they are 'past' soft toys then too - DS doesn't play with his as much but still takes his teddy when we go away anywhere. He doesn't have an Ipad but many of his friends do.

ragged · 14/03/2015 09:27

ps: DD got really into her dolls house at around age 10-11. I hated dolls & was so busy with nose in a book that I never played with Barbies until I was 10.

DontOpenDeadInside · 14/03/2015 09:29

When I 1st bought playmobile 2 years ago (i never had it as a child) I was over the moon with it and kept putting it "the right way" when the dc weren't playing with it. I love all the tiny bits, wasn't expecting so much detail.

SamanthaAndSamaris · 14/03/2015 09:31

There's a difference between outgrowing something and just changing interests

I absolutely agree with this. Some people seem to think children progress through toys in a sort of linear way - if you are old enough to want to play with X, that means you have outgrown Y, and that's just a ridiculous view imo. You can like more than one thing at once, and you can come back to old toys after a period of being interested in something else.

I do think there is a bit of a drive to have your children "grow out of" toys, and to dismiss things as babyish, and I really don't like it.

Toys are what your imagination makes of them, and I don't think you should really "outgrow" a well-designed toy. It should grow with you.

I still like joining in with the DC, making stuff out of play doh, or building with Lego, setting up Playmobil, tidying the dolls house and making furnishings for it, after all, and I am considerably older than 6!

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts · 14/03/2015 09:35

my dd (6) loves her toys - still plays with happyland and peppa pig. I have no plans stopping her. she is always dressing up and adores building lego.

However me and dp have discussed technology and tv in room and both agree that not till end of primary or start of secondary. she has restricted access to family ones. we have thought about a kindle this year (basic one with no Internet access) to aid her in reading as she does struggle.

ghostyslovesheep · 14/03/2015 09:39

seems a bit of a vague assumption - my 3 all still play with things - including super cool teen who is eye rolling champion of the world (I've caught her playing with her sisters Monster High dolls)

They all have technology - they all use that as well - and they have bikes which they go out on and they play football a lot outside together

I wouldn't worry too much about childhood disappearing just yet

Goldmandra · 14/03/2015 09:48

My DD2 had Minecraft Lego for her 12th birthday today.

She's thrilled with it.

She would stay on screens all day every day given the chance but that isn't going to happen. When the screens aren't an option, the Lego, Playmobil and Sylvanians come out and provide hours of fun.

HighwayDragon · 14/03/2015 10:11

I have got rid of toys dd has outgrown, but replaced them with the "older" version. Megablocks became lego, happyland to dolls house etc

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