to have had it UP TO HERE with people mocking turned eyes.

[kiritekanawa]

Until last year, the last time anyone had mocked my inward-turned eye was when I was in preschool and had just got glasses.

Last year I worked in the most bloody appalling worplace full of total loons, and one of their favourite in-jokes was to mock my eye and conclude that i must be "retarded" because of it. It was one of the reasons I gave when I resigned, saying that the workplace had many completely unacceptable features.

I thought that was the end of it.

And now a bunch of supposed friends on Facebook are passing among themselves a supposedly "funny" photo of a woman - and making derogatory remarks about the woman's intelligence and saying she must be inbred - where the only thing out of the ordinary about the photo is that she has a turned eye.

For the love of all that's holy, HONESTLY, is this even faintly acceptable in anyone's world? Really?

(venting on here, as there's really not a lot of point me venting anywhere else. I realise this is the second venting thread I've posted this week! )

Wow that is amazingly mean, how old are these so called friends, 13? As much as it hurts you are better off knowing what they are really like and find some decent people to be friends with. They are no loss to you.

YANBU

..but you need to sort out your facebook. I don't have facebook but if I did I would only have my friends on it and I don't have friends who would make comments like that.

I had turned eyes as a young child, one quite severe and one minor. I had surgery at 5 to correct it and I'm glad. Obviously it wasn't my decision.

You can post responses to rude comments of course, but some people will blurt out no matter how ill-mannered it is. Eyes are often the first thing that people notice about a person.

I have a squint - have had it corrected but I still feel so self conscious about it. It seems to be something where people think it's fine to mock - I have even read books where a character is described as having one & it's always in a really derogatory way. I struggle to comprehend why in this day & age it is acceptable to mock someone for a medical condition.

SandorClegane - just make eye contact with their nose - if it's not obvious which eye is looking at you, then either the person isn't focussed on you so they may be looking away, or the turned-eye problem isn't that bad. Provided you're smiley, welcoming and nice no-one's going to mind your eye contact being angled slightly wrongly!

liveloveluggage & JustDerppingAround - I guess people use Fb for different things. People my age (38) that I know, seem to use it to keep in contact with the people we wouldn't really know well enough anymore to email a lot or to see in person. It's sort of like sending Christmas cards in our parents' generation. These people are old uni "friends". No longer.

What's a turned eye? I've never heard the term before, is it the same as being cross-eyed?

Well I've just got back from the opticians where I have had a full eye check. My vision is pretty good and hasn't been adversely affected by the squit too much (+ 0.50 in each eye) so she doesn't feel I need prescription glasses just yet - I am 42 so she did say that it is normal degeneration for someone my age age.

I haven't developed too much of a lazy eye as my squint is alternating - I can focus straight with one eye closed and the closed eye will be squinted and vice versa so both my eyes get a chance at focusing at times..

She did say that I could be a candidate for surgery and that the angle of the squint is too large to be corrected with prisms in glasses.

She has referred me today to the local hospital for a consultation. I really hope I can have it done and relatively quickly. If it works it'll change my life :)

Hurrah, Quadrophonic! That's great news

NeedABumChange - a "turned eye" is another non-technical term for being "cross-eyed" or "wall-eyed" or "having a wandering eye" or a convergent or divergent squint, i.e. strabismus

Something I've noticed is that some of the terribly cool Kate Moss model-type people have a divergent squint or exotropia, and that seems to be an acceptable part of the blank stare apparently required for such models. However can you imagine if any of them had esotropia/ a convergent squint? ...

Well you learn something new everyday I had never heard that term at all and only ever associated "wall eyed" with horses. Can't believe how horrible adults would be about something so simple.

quad that is excellent news!

You sound like me, I can focus with either eye and the other will turn in. I think it's disconcerting for other people as I can switch eyes at will and I have had strange looks before when I suddenly flick between eyes during a conversation

Let us know how it goes and if and when you're having surgery. I'm hoping to fit in surgery some point this summer, and I agree that if it goes well it'll be life changing. I'm now getting excited thinking about it!

On a whiny, shallow note I have a friend's wedding in a couple of weeks time and so I spent 30 mins this morning taking selfies on my phone to work out where to look to minimise the squint in photos

Kiri I'm so sorry you are feeling so low about this. I had a squint corrected at 4 and 15 and it still turns in when I'm tired or if I'm focussing with my other eye. I am conscious of it and try to remember to look at people with the bad eye (can hardly see them as it's so long-sighted) but at least I know it will be pointing in roughly the right direction.

Anyway I was just wondering, is there a chance that your Facebook 'friends' might not have noticed your squint? I know people can be completely oblivious to things like that even though the sufferer is really self conscious. It's just a thought...

If not, they are twats. And as for your ex-colleauges, words fail me.

It seems to me this is something that for some reason is still acceptable. I was astonished at my daughter's godfather "allowing" (for want of a better word) his usually lovely teenage daughter to go off on a rant about a teacher she called "mad-eye Morgan" because he had a squint, and then proceed to do a rather excellent impression of him, in front of my daughter who had a bit of a squint at the time (it has since been corrected). He didn't even seem to be squirming.

Absolutely appalling and hurtful behaviour by your "friends". Glad you've defriended them

May be totally outing myself here, but I had convergent squint correction surgery when I was 3, after wearing glasses and a patch. The trouble was, as I got older the squint corrected itself as well, so by the time I was 18 it was a definite divergent squint. If it had been left alone when I was little, it would probably be ok now. Hey ho.

A friend of my exDP's once remarked (when I wasn't there - I don't think he'd have had the balls to say it if I was there!), "Apprentice's tracking is well out." I asked ExDP what his response had been and he sort of mumbled, so basically he hadn't defended me or stood up for me at all. Probably one of the reasons why he's an ex.

I had surgery to correct the divergent squint in my mid-twenties, after a botulinum toxin injection in the muscle behind the eye (apologies to the squeamish!) as a "tester", to see how the eye would react to the surgery. That was about ten years ago, and the eye has drifted outwards again, so I had another botulinum toxin injection about 18 months ago; sadly, they refused to use any leftovers on my forehead, the bastards I'm due at the hospital again next month to see what the next course of action will be.

Quad that's brilliant news. I hope they can treat you and you get the outcome you want