Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Praise texts from school...

35 replies

CocktailQueen · 13/03/2015 19:02

So today another mum posted on facebook that her dc had got a praise text from school 'for being lovely'. Seriously?

DS has never got a praise text :(

If it wasn't for other mums putting them on facebook and talk in the playground, I wouldn't know they even existed!

Surely DS has done something worth a sodding praise text in the whole academic year so far?

Wibu to speak to his teacher? Or is that OTT?

OP posts:

Mistigri · 13/03/2015 19:06

Why do you want one?

If someone texted me to tell me that my kids had behaved/ done their work/ whatever, my initial reaction would be "huh?" and after that I'd wonder why the school didn't have something better to do with their time, or something more important to spend the school budget on.

Kampeki · 13/03/2015 19:07

Never heard of praise texts, but we do get postcards.:)

How old is your ds? You could speak to the teacher, but then again, if he doesn't know about them, he probably isn't missing them.

Charlotte3333 · 13/03/2015 19:10

We do star of the week, and DS1's school does Merit awards for anyone who puts in huge effort.

DS1 has had three so far since January, I think his teacher either loves him (fine with me) or is permanently drunk (also fine with me).

wheresthelight · 13/03/2015 19:22

ywb a bit u I afraid!!

my dsc's get a note home if they get a weekly award but no texts. could it be that the child has been having issues so the school are trying a bit more of a direct approach and mum is just a tad over zealous?

thefirstmrsrochester · 13/03/2015 19:23

It's all relative. The kid in question could easily be a horror most of the time but behaved well this week hence the praise. I would hide the other mums on FB, imagine what they will be like come parents night

Devora · 13/03/2015 19:24

Praise texts? Postcards? Notes home?

Blimey, your schools are all nice. Nothing like that round these parts

KeturahLee · 13/03/2015 19:24

"Being lovely" means the teacher realised he was the only child in class not to have got a specific award for something yet and had to come up with something

ChipDip · 13/03/2015 19:25

Yabu, a bit dramatic with the . Maybe the child did something exceptionally well. I think stay off fb if these things get you so upset. You can praise your child yourself too.

ilovesooty · 13/03/2015 19:28

Being lovely might have meant not behaving like a PITA for the first time this year.

calmexterior · 13/03/2015 19:28

Yeah, your child is probably well behaved and so the school doesn't think they need to encourage good behaviour.

beginnerrunner · 13/03/2015 19:43

Fgs - teachers can't win can they? I send out praise texts. I would hate to think other parents feel negatively about them because their child has never had one. We try to do a nice bloody thing and get judged. I don't mark off who has had one because I bloody well shouldn't have to.

Original poster

CocktailQueen · 13/03/2015 20:13

Thanks, all. I had a feeling I wibu...

Sorry, Beginnerrunner - but do you really not check that all dc receive praise texts? So some might get several and some none over the year?

I just think DS is in the middle of the class and gets forgotten about - as the teacher has to spend a lot of time repeating herself as other kids aren't listening, etc. he behaves ok, but can be chatty, is bright, tries hard yet never gets star of the week or merit certificates for good work - when other kids do. Nada.

Chuh. Time to have a glass of wine and forget about school and get a grip, perhaps.

Of course I praise him myself!

OP posts:

beginnerrunner · 13/03/2015 23:23

Cocktail - no I don't keep a record of it. I do for certificates but that's not to say that all children get the same amount of certificates in a year either. I send things because a child deserves them, not because they are next in line. I refuse to be the kind of teacher who 'finds' a reason to send a praise text or a certificate. In life things are earned. I can't comment on why your child hasn't had one as I don't know them.

Ilovehamabeads · 13/03/2015 23:30

Our school sends these. They are usually for 'being kind' or 'lovely manners' etc, as they already get certificates for classroom stuff. I like them and I appreciate the extra effort involved from teachers. I know they aren't just sent out on rotation as DS has never had one but DD has had 2.

BackforGood · 13/03/2015 23:38

I've not come across a 'Praise Text', but, along with letters or postcards home, e-mails, and phone calls, two real advantages over something like a certificate in assembly, are

a) the parent gets to know about it
b) none of the other dc need to know about it

If other dc don't know that a.n.other has had 6 'praise texts' against his 1, then they don't worry about it.

Pomegranatemolasses · 13/03/2015 23:40

Beginnerrunner, do you bear in mind the effort it takes different children to attain goals in your classroom?

Eg, if a child with Adhd managed to behave in a reasonably calm and compliant manner, something that other nt children were expected to do as a matter of course, would that merit a praise text?

ilovesooty · 13/03/2015 23:49

Beginnerrunner said she sends rewards because they're deserved. There's no suggestion that she doesn't acknowledge the efforts of children with learning needs.

beginnerrunner · 14/03/2015 00:02

Pomegranate - funnily enough I understand my class pretty well, given that I am with them 5 days a week! I have taught dozens of children with diagnosed SEND and many with undiagnosed difficulties and of course I take them into account. Why wouldn't I?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 14/03/2015 00:15

I can see where you're coming from O.P. It's only natural that you're going to be thinking "Why hasn't my child got one (praise text) as well. You see these things are fine ie star of the week praise texts providing e every child gets mention and not just the chosen few.

marcopront · 14/03/2015 06:09

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost, while I agree it is unfair if only the chosen few get them it is equally unfair if every child gets one because then you are sending one for Jonny because he hasn't got one, not because he deserves it.

Welliesandpyjamas · 14/03/2015 06:19

My DC's primary did the star of the week and merit certificates every week. In year 6 my DS1 didn't get a single mention. Guess what, I didn't strop (or put it on facebook ha ha) because I assumed he wasn't 'shining' out or doing anything which deserved particular praise.

Surely, a system which gives everyone a turn throughout the year would defeat the object of the certificates?

ilovesooty · 14/03/2015 06:45

The whole reward concept is devalued by the "All must get prizes" mentality.

BathshebaDarkstone · 14/03/2015 06:53

Positive teaching? If you praise them for being good they'll be less likely to be bad? At DC's school they have Star of the Week and also VIP certificates.

Roonerspism · 14/03/2015 07:03

The thing that baffles me is the parent who then sticks it on FB. Such a "look at me" thing to do.

Our school does certificates. They might do texts too. DD hasn't received any, so presumably she hasn't deserved one yet.
I quite like kids not always receiving praise as it has swung too much from when we were at school and I think some kids need more personal drive to push themselves.

x2boys · 14/03/2015 07:31

I get postcards star of the week for ds,2 but he goes to a special needs school so they make a big fuss for any little achievement nothing like this for ss1 in mainstream

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread