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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teachers lying

76 replies

Fmarf · 13/03/2015 06:41

Is it ok for teachers to tell a lie which upsets children for the sake of a creative writing exercise and not reveal the lie until the following day?

OP posts:
Schoolaroundthecorner · 13/03/2015 08:14

It seems you are completely obsessed by this, which is troubling. It has been addressed, you need to move on.

RufusTheReindeer · 13/03/2015 08:16

My children's school had the head kidnapped by aliens

Ds2 still wasn't convinced that it wasn't absolutely real until much later on..they were fascinated by her stories of the aliens

Thinking about it I hope they didn't mention probing Hmm

But in response to your question the school should have told the children before school ended that day

IrmaGuard · 13/03/2015 08:19

Golly, op, you didn't go and chuck a brick through an Asda window did you? And then discovered it wasn't for real?

Fairenuff · 13/03/2015 08:21

At our school a beanstalk once grew overnight.

Another time a teddy escaped and the children followed clues which led to a visit to the fire local station.

Once there was a giant golden egg found on the school premises.

It happens OP. Schools are funny old places for stuff like that. Let it go.

HoldenCaulfield80 · 13/03/2015 08:22

Good grief, it was a creative writing exercise that happened over a year ago which the school has apologised for. One of my fondest memories from school is doing an exercise like this. YABU and also quite ridiculous.

Also, am I the only one who thinks it IS ok to lie sometimes, if you think it's the right thing to do!?

.

alwaysstaytoolong · 13/03/2015 08:23

Oh dear Lord. Has nothing else happened in your life over the past YEAR that seemed more important than this total non - issue?

mrsrupertpenryjones · 13/03/2015 08:24

OMG - you'd have a fit with what they do at our school.

They do a whole topic on super heros at our school and one of the teachers dressed up as a baddy and they let the children catch sight of him at various points over a couple of weeks. They even send him up on top of the roof to shout at the children.

And you'll really clutch your pearls at this bit as one day he hides one of the teachers in a broom cupboard and the children have to follow clues round the school to find her. The children are absolutely convinced this is real.

Damn that school for lying to the children, even though I've never seen my child so engaged in a topic at school! BURN THEM!

odyssey2001 · 13/03/2015 08:26

Parents like you are why the education system in this country is collapsing under its own weight. Do you have any idea the amount of time people have had to waste on this petty vendetta of yours? You should be ashamed and YABVU.

BigRedBall · 13/03/2015 08:28

I'm cringing on your behalf Grin. Seriously you went to the governors and dfe about this? Do you not have any RL friends who you could have given you solid advice and told you to calm the fuck down and that it wasn't that big a deal? The governers gave you a good answer IMO, so what do you want now? Confused.

What a stupid thing to ruin your relationship with the school with. I bet the children have long forgotten about that day; it has been almost 2 whole school years.. Confused

Just let it go.

londonrach · 13/03/2015 08:30

My best memory at school was a teacher who dressed as a witch and throw sweeties to us from a window above the hall. A few days later a group us did check her cupboard to see if there was a broom stick in it. She caught us, laughed and said she lent her broom stick to the caretaker but will pick it up later to take her home. I remember writing alot about it my books and being slightly scared but also excited. We all behaved in her class. I was 5 and still remember so good exercise!

Mehitabel6 · 13/03/2015 08:32

Why not explain to your children the difference between lies and not always telling the exact truth? There are times where you do it to be imaginative, to be kind, to not be rude etc.
I expect that your children have already worked out a lot of it for themselves and are not going to say things like 'I don't like that, Granny' as they open a present or 'I think that is a horrible name' when someone shows you their new baby etc.

BitOutOfPractice · 13/03/2015 08:36

So this is your second thread about something really trivial that happened a year ago and has been resolved?

Really?

Why?

You're not like the Coat Troll are you?

WeirdCatLady · 13/03/2015 08:40

OP, do you never lie to your kids then...never ever.....not even little white lies?

And in answer to the question, Yes, you are being very unreasonable.

Do you intend to keep starting threads on different boards until you get a person to agree with you??

WizardOfToss · 13/03/2015 08:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

silveroldie2 · 13/03/2015 08:49

YAB Ridiculously U - Get a life.

Mehitabel6 · 13/03/2015 08:50

Getting back to your OP- yes it is OK.

GoldenBeagle · 13/03/2015 08:53

If it is a well structured drama excercise that uses role play it is fine. They should give it a framework, though and let the children know it has ended / when it is ending . Sometimes children misinterpret or Mia report what exactly has happened as taking part comes easily to them but being able to articulate the theory of role play is naturally harder.

wigglesrock · 13/03/2015 08:55

My P6 (she's 9) daughter was told a meat packing factory was buying a part of their playground for a staff car park this week. The principal called her year in and asked them to write letters laying out their objections. She came out full of righteous 9 year old indignation about their rights and the right to play and importance of childhood etc Smile. Not once did it even occur to me that this was real, it just didn't cross my mind that the principals first line of complaint would be a bunch of 9 -10 year olds. I have some vague recollection of the same kind of thing happening when I was at school at I'm 40.

FenellaFellorick · 13/03/2015 09:07

holy crap. It was over a year ago. You really have to let it go.

They took your comments into consideration and made a change based on them.

They aren't having massive summits with the head of the LEA, Nicky Morgan and Dean Spielmann because it's not a big deal

They're setting up a hypothetical situation. The children are not harmed in any way and won't turn into habitual liars, saying well, it must be ok because when I was 9, a teacher made me believe something that wasn't true for a whole day! Any more than they will do that because you told them about santa, or the tooth fairy, or the easter bunny or that ripping off a plaster isn't going to hurt, or that eating up their veg will help them turn into a super hero. Kids are not that fragile or, well, stupid.

The school are making a change by revealing at the end of the exercise that it was a hypothetical situation. It's a learning experience and the children will not go away from it distressed because the teacher told a fibby, but pleased because they got lots of praise for their fab letter writing.

At this point, over a year later, by demanding they follow a proper complaints procedure, by still banging on about it even though they reviewed your complaint and made changes, but they didn't do it In The Proper Way, you are just going to become, if you haven't already, an object of ridicule.

They don't want to stop the exercise. They clearly feel it has a purpose. They have made a change to it, recognising the point about letting children believe it for too long. That's enough. Just let it go. At this point, it is probably more about winning than anything else. If you were able to be honest with yourself.

Suppose you had them go through the whole thing according to the complaints procedure. Do you know what would happen at the end of it?

They would find that the school could carry on doing it.

Seriouslyffs · 13/03/2015 09:08

GET. A. GRIP.

Reekypear · 13/03/2015 09:10

I would rather my children not be lied to under any circumstances.

wellcoveredsparerib · 13/03/2015 09:10

What is the outcome you want from your complaint OP?

Bakeoffcake · 13/03/2015 09:30

It depends what the lie was.

At my DDs school they lined the children up one morning, told them all those with blue eyes had to go and sit still on the floor in silence for an hour, whilst the brown eyed children could play. After the hour was up, they told them it was to find out how they would feel when the Nazis did this to Jewish people. They were 9 and 10 and all that happened was that most of the children got very upset.

That was also the same teacher who told the children that Father Christmas didn't exist and if they still believed they were too childish.Hmm

She was an idiot, many parents complained about her and she left very suddenly.

wigglesrock · 13/03/2015 09:37

BakeOffCake - our teacher did that in primary school too, I thought it was really valuable and clear way of explaining the treatment of Jewish people, different ethnicities, ethnic cleansing. In fact when my own dd who was 8 was learning about World War II, I used the same example to explain it to her. I didn't seperate them but I used it as a starting point.

BarbarianMum · 13/03/2015 09:41

Just for the record, have no problem with this.

Perhaps instead of teaching your children that everything adults say can be trusted, you'd be better off pointing out how and why they lie. Certainly with mine I've discussed lying many times - Father Christmas, little white lies, bad people lying, things you should always mistrust and currently election politics (the 7 year old is struggling with this one mind you and the 9 year old's disgusted). I want my kids to cultivate the art of questioning and investigating the world.

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