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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think mother's day is NOT a big deal?

41 replies

Totality22 · 11/03/2015 17:24

Am I the only one who is completely underwhelmed about it all?

I have 2 young dc - Am I unusual for not expecting OH to sort something out for me?

I adore my mum and she'll get a card but I probably won't even see her on the day. She has never made a big deal out of mother's day.

I keep seeing threads popping up and the angst / stress makes me even though glad I am nonplussed about it but I am curious to wonder if I am the only person to feel this way.

OP posts:

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 11/03/2015 17:28

I don't give a rat's arse about it, I've have never woken up thinking 'oh it's Mother's Day, what have I got'.

Not my thing at all.

LineRunner · 11/03/2015 17:28

I am with you. It's rubbish.

Church or Hallmark. I honestly can't decide which one is worse.

Rainicorn · 11/03/2015 17:29

I with you. I'm usually happy with the handmade cards and half eaten biscuits the dc make at school.

DH tends to work every Mother's Day, rota based and always seems to fall on his weekend in, so it's not as if I can sit back and out my feet up all day is it.

Eternity48 · 11/03/2015 17:30

I have to organise my own birthday presents and Christmas presents from my DC as I am a single Mum to 2DC. My Mum buys my Mother's Day gifts for me and gets my DC to sign a card and we spend the day altogether so it means a lot to me personally.

TywysogesGymraeg · 11/03/2015 17:34

I tell my DDs not to bother. A cup of tea in bed is appreciated, but that'll do.

hellospring · 11/03/2015 17:34

Not my thing either, same as valentines. The kids on the other hand get very very excited about Mother's Day and Father's Day and like to make cards and bring us cold toast in bed

SoonToBeMrsB · 11/03/2015 17:35

My mum would look at me like if I bought her something for mother's day. She views it the same way she views Valentine's Day.

EatDessertFirst · 11/03/2015 17:37

YANBU. I like the homemade cards I get though just because the DC are so pleased to have made them. Mothers Day seems to be just another religious occasion to be exploited by card firms for money.

JoandMax · 11/03/2015 17:38

I'm not bothered at all but as DCs get older they want to do more!! DS1 in particular has been making me something all week and wants to go to a cafe for tea and cake after school (we're not in UK, Sunday is first day of week so school/work as normal) which is lovely.

I'll send my mum a card and ring her but that's about all......

Sallystyle · 11/03/2015 17:40

I think it is stupid how many people will post about it, how their day did not to go to plan, how they resent spending time with their mil and all the other complaints you see on aibu around hallmark holiday times.

It's just mother's day. My teen will make me eggs benedict for breakfast and I will get home made cards.

I won't see my mum or mil, apart from the cards and eggs it will just be a normal Sunday.

ThursdayLast · 11/03/2015 17:40

I like it less than normal Sunday's because I feel obliged to drive around pleasing other people all day.

I'm almost certain MIL wouldn't give a rat ass if we turned up or not, but my own DM isn't straight forward enough to risk it.

icedgem30 · 11/03/2015 17:42

Same here. I dont expect my dp to sort something out for me, I'm not his mum.

I always host a token mothers day roast for my mum, dad, Dps mum, brother and sister. I do all the cooking because my DP is crap. Do i care? Not in the slightest.

I can just see men pulling their hair out up and down the country as they're made to choose between their mums and their wives!

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 11/03/2015 17:42

I'm not at all grumpy about celebrations, love birthdays and Christmas etc, but I just don't get the Mother's Day angst you see on here! I live 130 miles from my mum and MIL is aboard. DM will get a card and some flowers delivered, MIL will no doubt get nothing as DH has forgotten to send a card and now it won't arrive on time.
DD is 16 months. If DH ventures to the shops at the weekend I imagine he will see all the displays, have a pang of realisation and pick up a card. If he doesn't, he won't. Doesn't matter, I'm not his mother after all!
I appreciate my mother (and father) all year round. I tell her I love her, spend time with her, take her for lunch etc. I don't see how dashing miles to visit her because hallmark tells us it's Mother's Day is going to make any difference to our relationship or to now appreciated she feels!

Carpetcrawler · 11/03/2015 17:45

I don't care about it either. It's another annual MN event for some posters to get all huffy and angsty about though.

Easter egg angst on MN to look forward to next.

TheWordFactory · 11/03/2015 17:47

I'm not one for fuss anyway.

DC will give me cards, a token gift. That's enough for me.

I send my Mum a card and a little gift; I know she feels hard done by and wants bouquets and lunches out ' like all her friends '.

BohemianRaptor · 11/03/2015 17:48

YABU. I want adulation, recognition and appreciation in bucketloads thanks very much.
In reality I'll get a card and a plant, bought by my mum the same as every year (LP). She'll get flowers and a cake and a homemade card from DS, same as every year.
In all seriousness though I do enjoy showing my mum how much I appreciate her free childcare, but I prefer to do it on a random basis.

SoonToBeMrsB · 11/03/2015 17:53

When DP and I first got together we lived in different cities and he would travel to stay at mine every Saturday night and we'd spend Sundays together as work meant that we couldn't see each other through the week. His mum fell out with him because he didn't spend mother's day with her due to being with me - he was 22! He's now 25 and she still tells him what she wants him to buy her and demands that he visit for hours even though we live a few streets over from them, I find it really bizarre.

scurryfunge · 11/03/2015 17:57

I'm not fussed about it and because it is around the same week as my birthday, DS feels he has made an effort this week already . I renew a magazine subscription for my mum which she is happy with.

FenellaFellorick · 11/03/2015 18:00

It's not a big deal to me, although I respect the fact that it is to a lot of other people.

I've never really seen the point in making a fuss about someone because the calendar tells you to.

If you want to make a fuss of your mum - do it because you love her and you want to. Not because it's coming up to easter again and a hundred years ago women in service got a day off.

If you want to be romantic, don't be romantic because it's feb 14th and if you have to wait until the next one to do it again - there's probably something wrong

It's the generic everyone do this on this day because everyone is... that I'm not interested in.

But like I say, that's just me. Not everyone feels that way. If it really matters to someone so much that they get upset about it, then I think it's nice to just give them some sympathy.

farewellfigure · 11/03/2015 18:01

I don't think of it as a 'Hallmark' celebration because it's a historical celebration that was around long before cards! Girls in service were allowed to visit home for the day to be with their mums which I think is lovely. I like to send my mum something to mark the occasion but it won't be massive. I won't expect anything major from DS either...a card would do chocs would be nice.

However the massive fuss some DMs and DMil's seem to make makes me think it's all got out of hand and that people 'expect' a certain number of gifts, a visit, flowers, chocs, presents... all way too much. A simple 'thank you' would do really.

daughterofliz · 11/03/2015 18:01

YANBU.

I send my mum a card because I always have and I think she expects it, but I would be very happy if my own children (now late teens) didn't do anything special for me. It's just not that important to me. I know they love me, they show it often. We don't need a special day for that.

ConstanceMoan · 11/03/2015 18:01

Oh I just started a thread about this without seeing yours

We are NBU!

Radiatorvalves · 11/03/2015 18:09

DH is away for the weekend skiing with friends....so I will be alone with DSs and have to talk football all weekend.

However, I went last weekend, so can't exactly complain, plus I think I was the one who suggested the dates. Didn't think for a minute about Mothers Day.

What is worse though is that it is MILs 80th birthday as well this weekend. The family get together has been postponed until next week. I hope he as sent her a couple of cards!

No one is stressed about it. OP YANBU.

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 11/03/2015 18:14

'I want adulation, recognition and appreciation in bucketloads'

Absolutely, me too, but I want them all day everyday!

I find little, spontaneous gestures throughout the year far more meaningful and touching from my grown up children. Was never fussed when they were little.

And I take my mother out for lunch, give her flowers and little things I see that she would like all year round too.

The Day itself feels like an imposition.

TinCanSally · 11/03/2015 18:40

Same here - I'm not fussed about Mothers Day (or Valentines). I like a good birthday though

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