Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to think the school can get fucked telling me what i can and can't put in packups

348 replies

InTheWhiteRoom · 11/03/2015 16:05

ds is 8

he came home with a letter saying his pack up today was inappropriate. it was a very patronising letter "we promote healthy eating" and all that shit.... i can only assume this is because as I put a marshmallow in his pack up. a SINGLE marshmallow. along with his sandwich (cheese salad on granary) 2 bits of fruit and a yoghurt.

aibu to think I am the parent and I decide what goes in lunches?

jeez anyone would think his pack up was a can of coke and a packet of biscuits.

Angry
OP posts:
tobysmum77 · 12/03/2015 07:34

All this 'packed lunches are healthier' is nonsense imo. Two reasons:

  • they are generally much the same every day
  • the 'cakes' they serve up dont actually have sugar in them, according to dd they are gross (so she chooses fruit anyway)

Healthy eating is about balance and variety. So unless your child's packed lunch is different every day toy aren't achieving that.

Sandiacre · 12/03/2015 07:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

however · 12/03/2015 07:47

Unless you have a completely different lunch every single day, then it's not healthy? Bollox.

SomewhereIBelong · 12/03/2015 07:49

Healthy eating is about balance and variety.

but balance and variety over days not just over lunchtimes...

tobysmum77 · 12/03/2015 07:50

Ok sandwiches every day are healthier than school dinners Hmm

however · 12/03/2015 07:57

Are they?

SomewhereIBelong · 12/03/2015 08:00

kids who have a school dinner might have a just sandwich for their tea - is it healthier to have a sandwich at home or a cooked meal - when their lunchtime cooked meal is school dinner crap....

( a slice of pizza with 4 potato wedges, a slice of cooked chicken with an ice cream scoop of mash and tablespoon of cold sweetcorn - both followed by sponge and custard)

ghostspirit · 12/03/2015 08:04

if a kids lunch box was full of sweets/choc/cakes and things like that then i can understand the school saying its not suitable. but one marshmellow. no way. even a little cqake should not matter.

i work in a school kitchen. deserts are. fruit/smoothie/yougurt or a cake with custard or some other sauce but there is cake every day. so school dinners seems to be allowed it but not pack lunches. well i dont know if thats reallly true for the school i work at no idea what the kids have in their pack lunch. but from what this thread says seems lunches dont get a fair deal

tobysmum77 · 12/03/2015 08:15

or they might not have a sandwich for their tea. Ooh let's get into the 'you can't eat 2 cooked meals a day because it's too much and makes you fat' discussion

I also am always Grin about people who huff and puff about pizza do provide a cheese sandwich instead/ shun a burger but then provide meatballs for tea. But we are all allowed our opinions.

Redhead11 · 12/03/2015 08:20

I'd tell the school to mind their own business. As long as your child eats all his lunch, why shouldn't he have a sweet treat? Bet the teachers are tucking into chocolate biscuits and the like! Things like that really burn me. What you pack for your child has bugger-all to do with them!

SomewhereIBelong · 12/03/2015 08:21

"Ooh let's get into the 'you can't eat 2 cooked meals a day because it's too much and makes you fat' discussion"

was thinking more of the "you get a cooked meal at school for free , can't afford one at home too" discussion.... but hey ho...

(we got FSM at at school (in the days of spam fritters and of baked beans with everything) - followed by 1/6th of a can of beans or spaghetti hoops on a slice of toast for tea in strict rotation)

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 12/03/2015 08:29

Op - YANBU.

I also grew up in Yorkshire but have only ever heard 'pack up' on here. It was always packed lunch when I was a child. Intrigued as to which parts others are from - certainly not 'common parlance' I'm my neck of the woods (though I do like that turn of phrase!).

tobysmum77 · 12/03/2015 08:32

OK sure. But then they wouldn't be having packed lunches.

tbf I think the op isn't being unreasonable in relation to being allowed to feed her child what she wants within reason. It's all this healthy packed lunch/ unhealthy school dinner stuff based on the worst day of the week that gets my goat.

frumpet · 12/03/2015 08:36

Grew up in Yorkshire , father originally from a small mining town , so his packed lunch was called snap , mine was a packed lunch according to my mother !

LineRunner · 12/03/2015 09:02

siblingrevelry I think you'll find that once the school dinners contract is awarded by a school or LA, it is near impossible for parents to demand higher standards as they are told 'It's all agreed already in the contract'.

And good luck with getting an affordable contract that excludes puddings from school lunches. Most companies rely on them to bulk out their cheap school lunch offers.

notnaice · 12/03/2015 09:14

"Oh well it's ok for Sammy to have a marshmallow because he's eaten all his quinoa, but Johnny you can't have your Haribo because Mummy sent you with Doritos and Peperami again."

This.
You have to draw the line somewhere. You know it was only one marshmallow and an otherwise healthy lunch. Tomorrow all the other kids moan that Littleinthewhiteroom had marshmallows so why can't they, and the next thing you know all the kids have sweets in their lunch boxes. It's a slippery slope.

Torwood · 12/03/2015 09:16

Not read the whole thread yet, but if it's a slippery slope, why are schools allowed to serve such ridiculously sweet puddings?

Fauxlivia · 12/03/2015 09:28

If all the kids do have sweets in their lunchboxes, that's still a matter for parents to decide and not the state. The world won't end because a kid eats a penguin bar at lunchtime!

That aside, kids are perfectly capable of understanding that different parents pack different food and are quite accepting of that.

When my older dc were small, I was the mum who spent ages chipping up bits of pepper and carrots so my kids had a healthy pack lunch and every day it would come back home uneaten. They might have been better with a biscuit. At least they would have eaten it!

I think children are too aware of weight and body size and I'm not sure that demonising certain foods is helpful to children. I would prefer that schools focused on an 'all things in moderation' pov.

Torwood · 12/03/2015 09:35

What I don't understand is that in this case the marshmallow falls within the no sweets, I get that. But a large number if schools also ban things like cake in lunch boxes.

Can someone please explain why it's acceptable to van cake from lunch boxes yet serve it behind the counter?

Only1scoop · 12/03/2015 09:35

My dad used to get packed off to work with 'work cake'

This thread brings back memories

candidkate · 12/03/2015 09:37

The schools are damned if they do and damned if they don't tbh.
Obviously its only a marshmallow it wont make him obese over night how silly of them
But in regards to should schools step in if a child is being fed crap absolutely. Its not about the pride of parents its about child welfare. Child obesity and feeding your kid crap is a form of child abuse (this obvi isnt the case here for you). Did anyone watch Junk Food Kids: Whos to Blame on C4? Its bloody scary. Poor kids and poor parents.

crazylady12 · 12/03/2015 09:40

My daughter got told she couldn't have cake in her lunch box I was so angry I laughed at them they had chocolate cake and custard on offer for hot dinner I wrote a long letter abd put it in her lunch box as well as a chocolate cake

Torwood · 12/03/2015 09:44

candidkate, this is why the whole thing stinks. I cannot stand this idea of needing to catch the lowest common denominator therefore imposing draconian rules. Oh one mum night just send in a mars bar so best not allow a slice of banana cake after a healthy sandwich. Just bloody deal with the bars bar parent FFS. Same with time off in term time. We won't let the parents of a child with otherwise excellent attendance miss the last 2 days if term but we're not doing much about the child who misses every mon and is late 3 other days a week.
Come out and say some parents are shit and bloody well do something about it rather than pussy footing around and introducing ridiculous 'catch all' policies.

HubertCumberdale · 12/03/2015 09:45

The packed lunch rules are there to make sure every kid gets a fair chance. Some parents just don't understand what a good diet is, and don't get that their bad choices can affect their DCs really negatively. If a kid eats a shit lunch every day, it can result in attention and behaviour problems, health problems, weight gain etc and all will ultimately affect a child's learning.

These rules go towards giving every child a fair fighting chance. No child should suffer through the ignorance of their parents. If some parents have to suffer the annoyance of a letter about a marshmallow in order for just a few kids to have an improved chance at a good quality of life... well I think it's very worth it.

Side note, children shouldn't have sweets or treats in the lunchbox regardless. A PP said it won't kill a kid to have a penguin bar in their packup? Maybe not, but 5 chocolate bars a week is obscene.
But some people think that's normal. Which is a problem.

candidkate · 12/03/2015 09:48

Fauxlivia I understand and thats actually a good point but i understand where the schools are coming from too. I would never let my child eat that stuff because I think it's slightly playing God in a sense of that they are too young to exert the type of self control you need to limit junk food.

Some kids can have a kit kat as a "treat" every now and again and some just cant. I've seen it happen loads of times. I had my niece for 2 weeks while her mother was away on urgent business, gave her what i thought was a "harmless" SMALL glass of 7UP which i watered down and that was it. refused to drink anything else for the rest of her stay.

I also don't like using junk / unhealthy food as a "reward" as it then ingrains within the kid that being healthy is a chore. AIBU? 1/3 of our youth is overweight i cant be paranoid right? Am I? Hate talking about kids this way. InTheWhiteRoom you're not being unreasonable but gone are the days when it's just a marshmallow we have a real problem with child obesity and maybe that's where it starts?