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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask what I do now with a 2 year old who is driving me to the edge (refusing to drink)

55 replies

Totality22 · 11/03/2015 12:52

Am sat here in tears but my toddler has all but defeated me with his refusal to drink barely anything.

He has been given the OK by the GP - IE there is no medical reason why he is not drinking.

He is not yet dehydrated but that is what will happen and then we'll have to go to A&E.

It's been over 24 hours now since he began refusing his drinks and in that time we've tried everything we can think of... different cups, different drinks, bribery, plain old fashioned begging, leaving him to his own devices with a drink to hand, rewards, reasoning.

I have been through any reasons for him not wanting to drink...

Nothing is working, nothing is getting through to him and I am terrified he is going to end up in hospital on a drip.

I have a 7 week old baby, I cannot cope with this refusal to do something so basic and so imperative to his health.

It's like he is punishing me? Can a 28 month old really have the mental ability to think that way.

I feel ready to scream!

OP posts:

Cantbelievethisishappening · 11/03/2015 12:57

YANBU to feel at the end of your tether.
You can't force him to drink as you already know. My daughter was the same. It's a fight I was never going to win. Has he done this in the past?
IME they drink when they are thirsty. Is he eating ok? Don't forget there will be fluids in food.
My daughter seems to get through each day drinking little if anything..... but she was fine.

TheSmallerBadger · 11/03/2015 12:59

You are rewarding his refusal to drink with a lot of attention

I would just ignore it, he'll drink eventually. But then I'm hard

BobbyButtons · 11/03/2015 13:01

Give him some salty crisps. He will soon drink. He's getting fluids from other things (fruit, even bread), so don't worry.

Have you tried ice lollies? Like the rowntree ones?

Don't beg him. As if he isn't already doing it for control, he soon will as he will understand its a tool to use with you.

Boysclothes · 11/03/2015 13:01

Watery foods? Watermelon? Cucumber? Porridge?

V worrying. DS at 28 months would have very much understood that he wasn't getting any treats/ TV/ going out until he'd had a drink.

StickChildNumberTwo · 11/03/2015 13:02

Would you be happy to give him ice lollies or something like that to get fluids in him? Or would that just seem like giving in and potentially setting up ongoing issues?

I would try not to worry, chances are when he's thirsty he'll drink something. Who knows what goes through the mind of 2 year olds but it's certainly not logical!

BoyScout · 11/03/2015 13:02

Leave the cup next to him, don't mention it and do not make a big fuss. Feed him watery foods. Extra milk with his cereal. He'll come round, it's just a phase.

DawnOfTheDoggers · 11/03/2015 13:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sirzy · 11/03/2015 13:04

Will he let you syringe fluids in?

championnibbler · 11/03/2015 13:05

Absolutely ignore him
You do know you're already giving the attention that he craves, yes?
when he's thirsty, he'll drink.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 11/03/2015 13:05

I don't know about "punishing" you but perhaps with the baby's arrival he feels insecure and recognises that being a helpless baby his sibling gets a lot of attention.

MrsKCastle · 11/03/2015 13:06

What BoyScout said.

At the moment he is probably amazed and delighted at how much effect he is having- he gets your full attention and gets you to show how much you care about him.

CatthiefKeith · 11/03/2015 13:09

DD did something similar for a couple of months

Agree with watery foods/fruit. Grapes, oranges, melon, cucumber

Also ice poles, ice lollies, jelly all worked well.

Purplepoodle · 11/03/2015 13:10

Just leave a cup out and keep giving him food. Tbh I couldn't tell u what my 2 year old has drunk as he always has a sippy cup floating about and helps himself

bonzo77 · 11/03/2015 13:10

Ignore him. He is wielding his power in the only way he can. Offer drinks, leave them lying around. Don't get sucked into offering him juice, squash or novelty cups (you'll end up with a child who will only drink certain tooth-decaying drinks out of specific vessels). Mine is very keen on water out of a sports bottle like this, rather than children's cups.

We has similar over food with my older one, it's taken 3 years and it's still not sorted. I really regret letting it become such a thing.

rioballinx · 11/03/2015 13:13

If he's not dehydrated why are you forcing him to drink? They'll drink when their thirsty, and if he's eating then he'll be getting some hydration that way, as others have said. Good luck x

Original poster

Totality22 · 11/03/2015 13:14

Thanks - it's hard to have any perspective when you are in the midst of it all.

He is eating but not his usual amount. So today he has had a yoghurt, some Brioche and a little bit of fruit.

Might try milky porridge for lunch.

He does suffer from constipation and we started Movicol last week, he was absolutely fine taking it though (in his drinks and he didn't know he was taking it!). He seemed a bit off colour over the weekend and threw up once on Saturday night. So I stopped the Movicol on Sunday and then we've gone steadily downhill with the amount he has been drinking since then?

I do think it's a control thing and I do acknowledge that I have been paying far too much attention to his refusals. I just want him to drink and he obviously knows this.

Will pop on his lunch, let him nap and then keep things as normal as possible and see if he goes back to drinking like usual.

OP posts:

addictedtosugar · 11/03/2015 13:15

Have you tried a straw? Thats what gets my reluctant drinker to take in some fluids.

Otherwise, watermelon, cucumber and icelollies!

He will also "share" my drink sometimes.

BarbarianMum · 11/03/2015 13:15

Has somebody checked his throat? When ds1 did this he had tonsilitus (but it took 2 trips to the doctor to establish this). In the end it took 2 of us to force liquid down his throat with a syringe. Having said which, he was clearlyill. If your ds is otherwise fine ignoring should work. You can offer foods such as soup and yogurt which have a high water content if it will make you feel better.

BadgersNadgers · 11/03/2015 13:18

Make drinks available e.g. leave a cup of water on the table but don't draw his attention to it.

It's normal for children that age to want to try to control the world around them (i.e. you) but they have limited resources so they refuse to eat or drink or get really stupidly fussy because it gets a reaction. The more they act out, the more your react. Your are like the ultimate V-tech toy. You walk, you talk and you will play "just drink some miiiiiiiiillk!" all afternoon if he wants you to.

It's horrible but it's normal, it's not personal and he will give in when he gets bored by your non-reaction. Only fair to mention that this is one of those phases that can last for five years a while.

CunningCat · 11/03/2015 13:19

Have you tried a baby bottle? He may be jealous of baby, older kids can regress a bit when a new baby on the scene. I would not normally suggest this, but as a last resort I would try it. Good luck

BobbyButtons · 11/03/2015 13:22

Good idea about the straws.

i have a 2.8 year old. This morning he refused breakfast. We were late for the school run and needs his scooter so needed energy. So I offered him a banana. He refused. I then said "that's ok, it's my banana, you can't have any" and gave him a cheeky grin. I then held the banana near him, and turned my head away from him. He then took a big bite of the banana which he nearly choked on as he was laughing so much.

Could you try that? Get a cup with a straw. Say it's yours and he can't have any. Then turn your head away.

Original poster

Totality22 · 11/03/2015 13:41

Have tried straws, have been to GP this morning (had his throat and glands checked), have tried my cup / glass, have tried everything I can think of even to my shame a baby bottle, although new baby is BFing

I have ice lollies but he isn't a massive fan? He also doesn't like fruit shoots.

He did have half a cup of water in the night and a little this morning so he is getting some fluid, just not as much as usual. He is forever swigging normally.

Gah, kids are so bloody frustrating sometimes!

OP posts:

bingthemerciless · 11/03/2015 13:45

I'm sure he'll come round, they love a battle though...it might be the constipation making him feel full & uncomfortable?

Reverse psychology? Don't mess with my special drink (fancy glass with icecubes left temptingly within reach)? Or make a game squirting water or learning to gargle in the bath? Assuming he's really not sick, along the lines of the crisps suggestion, would he eat anything a bit spicy? Nothing extreme of course but curry sauce & chilli crisps work here...

bingthemerciless · 11/03/2015 13:46

Sorry x-post

Griffineater · 11/03/2015 13:52

It had probably already been said by others but try foods with drinks in them so to speak. Cereal with milk. Ice lollies. Cucumber. Melon. Apples. Grapes. Tomatoes. Must be very frustrating for you. I would just try in through his food and leave plenty of drinks around to tempt him. He might just do it without realising. Good luck

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