Sick of MIL's comments about single parents

[Discopanda]

Every single time I have to see MIL she makes derogatory comments about single parents, about how 'damaging' it is for children and telling me that my father should have been around (alchoholic, was told he could see us in a contact centre but didn't bother to sort anything out) and I actually had a perfectly happy childhood being brought up by just my mum. She, on the other hand grew up watching their father emotionally and physically abuse their mother but apparently that's OK because they had both parents around. I'm currently on DH's laptop because mine has broken, he left his email logged on and she's sent him an email with a talk about how childhood trauma affects people their whole life saying that it 'might explain Discopanda'. WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!

Email back showing an article about a MIL that was killed for interfering

Oh my goodness!! I would be furious! Has she always been like this?

What has possessed her to send DH an email like this? Has he replied?

Oooooo I'm fizzing for you!

'Kindly stop insulting me, my mother, and my upbringing. You weren't there, you've no business commenting upon it.'

what did he reply....?

but still.

It might explain...why I am so sorted. And yet you are so judgemental with your emotionally and physically abusive father. I know who I would rather be MIL'.

That is outrageous! Are you and DH having any problems or is she just saying this stuff for no reason? Either way email her back and tell her to but out.

Send one back saying "no mil - I had a lovely upbringing. Maybe your dad being abusive explains YOU!"

She's been saying stuff for months, there was an incident a couple of weeks ago when she took our DD off without telling anyone and refused to bring her back. DH won't say anything, he just puts up with her for an easy life.

I would message straight back and say well if that is the case, about childhood trauma, how much worse and more damagine it must have been for her seeing her dad abuse her mum and ask if she has ever sought counselling. Or something in that line.
Out - fucking - rageous

I'm afraid he needs to man up!!

She did what???

I would be limiting all contact and telling my DH to make sure she knows exactly what the score is!

What have you done after that incident? Do you think she has got mental health problems?

Sorry to drip feed but I was only 7 months old when my biological father left so I have literally no memory of him, all I've ever known is having one parent.

well that sounds a hell of a lot less damaging than being brought up by an abusive dad like your MIL. Sounds like she is projecting tbh, tell to go orf and project elsewhere.

So she thinks it's more beneficial for a child to witness a parent getting beaten up and/or mentally abused. Tell her that the medevil period is long gone, single parents exist she'll have to get over it!.

there was an incident a couple of weeks ago when she took our DD off without telling anyone and refused to bring her back.

After a stunt like that I would be wary of letting her have solo care of DD.

This latest effort would make me want to talk with DH surely he can't pretend this stuff isn't happening.

You need to start standing up to her now, taking your dd was way over the line.

I'm just coming out the other side of NC with mil but she is still rumbling on in the background. I've told my DP he has to be seen to support me or I'm off, otherwise it will never end

Your dh needs to be telling her where to get off. His life will be easier when he starts standing up to her. You might need to point out that the longer she does this, the more he's going to get it in the ear, from both of you. If he puts a stop to it, no more from her, so no more from you. Peasy.

She abducted your child? And your DH finds it best to put up with this psychopathy for an easy life?

You need a little chat with your DH.

I'd text DH and say 'what exactly IS the issue with me, that a one parent family explains?'

Email back using his email and say...

"You seem to have mistaken me for someone who gives a shit what you think about Discopanda"

And tell your "D"H that you have done it.

Just because your H has poor boundaries with this woman, doesn't mean you should too and I hope you have some strong ones in place after her stunt.

She's an idiot.

Stupid, evil, interfering bitch

Why on earth do you still have contact with this woman?

Agree with ^ - pull her up on it, what a disgusting attitude to have

Find a report of impact on children of living with parents who are abusive to each other. And send it on to her, tell her the alternative is much worse.

You know what single parents don't have to deal with? MILs like her.

Well she's not wrong, childhood trauma does affect people their whole lives, but why does that 'explain' you, Discopanda?

What do you do/say that shows you've been traumatised and why on earth is she talking to your DH about it?