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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect a 6 year old..

70 replies

zosia54 · 07/03/2015 19:53

...to do around half an hour of chores/ homework a day?
He has to set the table, tidy his/his sister's toys (she's 1), read his school book/ go on a maths website and do a writing or science exercise every day. Three times a week he practises an instrument for 10 minutes. He does it all eventually, but it requires some badgering, hence the question... am I asking too much? Is it a fair amount in your opinion?
Thank you for your views Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
zosia54 · 07/03/2015 20:20

@ahbollocks: I'm French, but half Polish Grin maybe it is cultural....

OP posts:
happy2bhomely · 07/03/2015 20:21

My 7 yr old does 1/2 hour of homework everyday. 15 minutes is school set. 15 minutes is normally spellings. She is also in charge of making her bed and cleaning the table after dinner. She tidies up the toys along with her brothers and sisters every evening.

Seems fine to me!

PtolemysNeedle · 07/03/2015 20:22

If you have to nag him to do extra work on the Internet, then it's too much. He won't be enjoying it, and it would be better to find more fun ways of extending his learning if that's what you want to do. At six, there are natural learning opportunities everywhere if you look for them, but it does take a bit more effort than turning on a computer or nagging.

I don't think he should have to tidy up his sisters toys.

AnnieThePianist · 07/03/2015 20:23

But Best...presumably the kid is in school. So it wouldn't be throughout the day.

On a typical schedule, this would be crammed jn between 4pm-7pm time. What with dinner, relaxing time, possible bath/bed routine...I don't see how you get it in every day as it sounds like much more than half an hour to me.

Original poster
zosia54 · 07/03/2015 20:24

@BestZebbie: he does them troughout the day/week, does more when we're at home and less when I'm at work. It's up to him how he organises himself as long as everything is done/ticked on his chart at the end of the week.

OP posts:
Original poster
zosia54 · 07/03/2015 20:26

*throughout Blush

OP posts:
AnnieThePianist · 07/03/2015 20:26

Yabu to have a chart for chores and extra academic work for a 6 year old too.

Back2Two · 07/03/2015 20:27

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GoogleyEyes · 07/03/2015 20:29

More than I ask of my 6yo. She lays the table for breakfast (with her sister), 10 mins music practice daily and 40 mins homework at the weekend. She reads to herself before bed, and has the option to do chores like putting away her clean washing if she wants to earn pocket money.

She does have to tidy all away all her toys before I will switch the TV on after tea.

Flomple · 07/03/2015 20:32

30 mins a day woldn't be too much but I'd break it up - 10 mins before school, a 10 min chunks after school, 10 mins reading after tea or something.

Your list would take my 6 year old longer than half an hour, but I don't make him do writing/science exercises.

I agree with other PPs that he shouldn't be expected to tidy his sister's toys. Give him a job that either cleans up after himself or is a neutral contribution to the whole family, like the table laying.

Back2Two · 07/03/2015 20:32

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CombineBananaFister · 07/03/2015 20:37

I think it's okay to ask a child to help with family chores. I think it's okay if they want to learnt the instrument. I think it's okay to encourage extra homework if they need it.

I don't think it's okay to do all these things to tick multiple boxes that make you feel like you're doing the best for your child. Is he going to pursue the instrument to high level and be excellent in it? if not it should be just enjoyable. Lots of 'stuff' done does not = lots of 'stuff' done does not always = lots of academic progression made IMHo. If he is at school all day he'l onlt take so much more 'learning' before it just becomes white noise Sad

CombineBananaFister · 07/03/2015 20:38
  • sorry repetitive typo Blush
calmexterior · 07/03/2015 20:39

Too much too young. Let the poor kid have a childhood! A little chore here and there is fine, but the instrument etc?! Unless it's his choice it's too young imo.

TheFairyCaravan · 07/03/2015 20:39

I think it's too much. He is 6. If he was mine he would be doing only the homework set by the school, no extras. There is going to be so many days in the future where he is stuck in front of a PC doing endless homework tasks. He shouldn't be doing it when he is 6, he should be playing. Little children learn so much through play.

He wouldn't be tidying up after his sister. You should be doing that with her. She isn't too young for you to start encouraging her to do it. If she was/is in a childcare setting a lot of them would be encouraging her to put some toys into the box. She's obviously not going to put them all away but she can try.

I think he should set the table, tidy up after himself, do his reading, homework and instrument practice. Let him be 6.

HeisenbergsBlueMeth · 07/03/2015 20:42

My 6 year old reads his school books. And maybe has a tidy around his bedroom once a month week. That's all.

Let kids be kids, they've still got a lot of years to be doing more academic stuff, 6 is still so little

BertieBotts · 07/03/2015 20:49

My 6yo does chores but not academic stuff (other than set by school of course). I don't think 30 minutes a day is too much, as long as he has time to relax as well. That said DS sometimes finishes his jobs in 5 minutes and sometimes takes hours over it!

I don't have younger DC but I would have thought that making him clean up the baby's toys isn't a great idea, won't that create resentment?

Artandco · 07/03/2015 20:51

It sounds fine tbh. Ds1 is 5, he gets set 20 mins of homework everyday ( 10mins reading, 10 mins maths/ writing). Homework has to be done as more set the next day and school very hot on it. He does at least 10 mins of 'chores' in day I suppose by the time he tidys toys/ puts his washing in basket/ makes bed/ etc. So easily 30ish mins a day.

School is only 9-3.30pm. He goes to bed at 8.30pm, wakes 8am. Leaves him 6hrs a day before and after school to play, so I think 30min on 'homework and chores' is fine.

pointythings · 07/03/2015 20:59

Asking him to help with chores around the house is fine, but pick something different from tidying up his sister's toys - that is your job.

Extra academic work outside of school homework at 6? Too much. At that age I expected my DDs to do their school homework and take it seriously, i.e. not do the bare minimum, but no more than that. They're children for such a short time.

theboatisleaking · 07/03/2015 21:01

OP this schedule sounds very reasonable, I expected the same from my DC at that age. Kids benefit from learning responsibility young, and chores help them feel part of family unit. It's healthy for them to tidy-up independently, help with meal prep, help younger siblings etc. Your DS tidying up his sister's toys is fine, he is older than her and needs to play his part. Why do other posters think that's so unreasonable??
Not giving kids this responsibility/independence encourages them to be lazy, spoilt and self-centred. Too many ppl nowadays think kids are not capable of daily chores or homework but in many cultures it's expected of them. UK culture falls behind in this respect just as British kids fall behind other countries academically.

I don't let my DC moan about chores. I try to make chores and homework fun, we do things as a team, it's inportant bonding time and teaches them life skills. It's also a good time for them to chat to me about worries or problems. They are proud of their contribution to family life, their roles and responsibilities within our family. We praise them a lot and encourage them. But chores and homework are not optional. I want my kids to do well academically and have a wide choice of universities and careers. Nowadays an undergrad degree just isn't enough to get you a good job.

My kids have free-choice play/leisure time from 6:30pm until bedtime on weekdays, provided homework and chores are completed.

arethereanyleftatall · 07/03/2015 21:03

Too much IMO.
My 6 yr old has to help tidy her own room. Reading is her hobby so she reads to herself for fun.
I ask her to do absolutely nothing else. She gets homework which I don't make her do.
She is doing so well at school, top of her class, her teacher says she concentrates so well at school, and I think that's possibly because I let her just be at home so she's not too tired for school.

ahbollocks · 07/03/2015 21:06

Zosia I knew it! :) unless he seems unhappy I think it seems fine

minionmadness · 07/03/2015 21:16

YANBU... My two Y2's boys have the following chores,

make their beds, tidy their bedrooms, lay the table for meals. They each have one other chore daily.

They do reading every night and maths/literacy homework twice a week. They also have 4 activity after school each week plus football on a Saturday.

They are absolutely fine with this and we have plenty of time for play, they have just gone to bed after playing 1 hour of volley balloon over the dining table with me and DH. Oh and dts2 has helped DH prepare all the food for the week and it's in the freezer.

They will both make wonderful partners one day Grin

Bunnyjo · 07/03/2015 21:24

It does sound a lot, OP. DD is 7. She does her homework, which takes up to 30 minutes now she is in Year 3 - reading, times tables, spellings, and maths/literacy twice a week. As far as chores go, she sets the dinner table, puts her own clothes away (with help from DH or I) and is expected to keep her room relatively tidy.

Does your DS really need to do extra academic work? My DD happily does extra work every night (she reads before bed and goes on websites such as BBC Bitesize) but she does this of her own accord and not because she's asked to. Once she's done her homework I don't expect her to do any further 'study' - she's still very young.

Another point, as others have mentioned, I wouldn't expect DD to tidy up after her younger brother and I would suggest you find something alternative as a 'chore' if you believe they are important. Holding him responsible for cleaning up after his younger sibling could lead to resentment.

Heels99 · 07/03/2015 21:26

Too much in my view