to be terrified of dementia

[calmseeker]

I am in my mid fifties and my short term memory has deteriorated. Sometimes, possibly like people of my age I go to get something in another room and think 'what was it I wanted?' or I open the fridge instead or a cupboard then realise what I've done. I look it up and the internet (reliable sites) say its a normal part of aging. But every other day there seems to be 'new' things that predispose one to dementia - antihistamines (older versions), concussion, lack of sleep, solitariness and so the list goes on, Is anybody else terrified........ The worse thing is there is no cure and the disease is very scary.....

YANBU

Read 'grain brain'.

It is much scarier to watch than be, honestly. I've watched 4 people go through it til death and it's much less distressing the worse it gets - unlike pretty much any other illness

Have you had a dementia check?

My Mother had dementia before she died and I worked for a Dr who's Father had dementia. He always said, "if you know you've forgotten something then you're OK. Dementia patients don't know they've forgotten".

It is a very frightening disease so YANBU.

However YABU to live you life in fear of something that may or may not happen to you whether you fret about it or not.
Eat well, sleep well, exercise mind and body, be socially active, learn something new and you are doing everything you can to reduce your risk of dementia.

I think it is true that when you walk in to a room and cannot remember what you came in for when you are 35, most people will just go 'tsk', be mildly annoyed with themselves and move on.
When the same thing happens when you are older, it is tempting to give it more significance than it likely has.

If you are really worried, then see your GP. Get them to use one of their screening tools for dementia - it gives you an idea where you stand.

There is no cure, but there are medications for some types of dementia that slow down the decline. And who knows what might be available in years to come?

I am 49 btw and have just buried my gran who died of very severe dementia at the age of 101. I do understand how horrible a disease it is.

I have the same fear.

Its in the family, its down the female line and whilst its 'appears' to filter down the line a little, I did copious amounts of class A drugs in my youth and have always wondered if this makes me more susceptible.

Anyway, I fully intend of putting my affairs in order and taking matters into my own hands if I was diagnosed, before it got too bad.

It scares the bejesus out of me! My dad has Alzheimer's and its heart breaking. Some days he can't answer the phone because he can't rember how. Maybe have a check up Op, though to be honest I've always had times when I've walked into a room and wondered what it was I've gone for and the fridge thing too.

"Its much scarier to watch."

Im not sure, its scary to watch but my poor relative was angry, frightened, paranoid and confused. A lot.

Those are mightily unpleasant feelings to have, unexplained.

Im like this and im 39, this is not a sign of dementia, please stop using dr google! You could convince yourself you have any number of illnesses. You may develop any number of illnesses in your later years but wondering about what you MAY get is a bad idea, enjoy your life and health while you have it.

I'm 54 and my Father has dementia .

His sister has dementia , both his parents had dementia

I've told my DH that if I get dementia , put me in a very nice home and I don't want him or the DC to visit me .

Don't give me antibiotics and don't prolong my life

I'm terrified of getting dementia

I have professional dealings with people with dementia and it is very clear to me that it is not ONE disease and affects every individual differently.
Yes, many people dement rather pleasantly, but others don't.

The most difficult phase with my gran was when she was still able to appreciate what she was losing . And the most heart-breaking when she started looking for my granddad, getting really distressed that he had not come home. She had to be reminded that he had died some 20 years ago over and over again, and grieved again and again. It was awful.

Towards the end she was like an infant - she needed to be dressed, fed, held, comforted like a baby and apart from random words, was non-verbal.
There was an intermittent period in which she was quite clueless what was going on, but was v contented with her lot.

My mother almost killed herself looking after her which has very much made me decide to make sure that my care is planned and paid for and not landed on my children.

YANBU my memory seems to be playing havoc on me, I'm putting it down to being menopausal.

Went to the neurologist last year as I wanted to change my anti-convulsants because I figured they were making my memory even worse and got sent to Kings for some memory base line tests. MRI showed minor loss of cerebral volume since last MRI 10 years ago. I'm convinced I'm on the fast track to early onset dementia and its terrifying because there doesn't seem to be anything to stop it.

If you are worried then get checked out. Its most likely nothing but i was talking to a lady today who lost her niece from dementia while the niece was only in her 30s. Its not common but it can happen.

My mother is going through this now. She hasn't got a clue that she's been told something (sometimes 10 minutes ago) and she is happy as Larry. As someone earlier said - it is worse to witness than to have.

Hi Calmseeker I think what you described happens to most of us. I often go into a room to do something and then forget what it was I wanted to do when I get there. or I'll put something in the wrong place. or have trouble recalling words and names etc. These are either down to age or stress or having a lot on your mind. So I dont think you need to worry. However if you think there could be more to it than these things and are anxious about dementia then speak to your GP. As Pacificdogwood says, your GP can provide screening tools to diagnose dementia. You can also contact Alzheimers Society or look at their website for information and I think there are some online tests too. but see your GP so you can hopefully put your mind at rest. take care.

Yes, I'm terrified. My nana had dementia, my mum has dementia. She was only 65 when it was obvious there was a problem, and she has an atypical form where her language was affected first. Every time I can't find the word I want I worry.

I think its also easy to say 'put me in a home' - my mum said that, but you can't just let go of the person you love like that.

It is scary because there is seemingly nothing that can be done

Eat well, sleep well, exercise mind and body, be socially active, learn something new and you are doing everything you can to reduce your risk of dementia.

Unless you get vascular dementia, in which case none of that will help. YANBU to be afraid. my DM had it, I worry I will too. But then again my Dad didn't, so I hope to take after him.

MissPenelope, well, then, don't get vascular dementia : don't smoke, have your blood pressure well controlled, don't smoke, have a healthy cholesterol, don't smoke, exercise and don't smoke.

Sorry to be factious - there are no guarantees, I know that only too well.

I know my risk is higher than the next person's, but I just cannot bring myself to live whatever cognisant life I've got left in fear of something that may or may not happen.

There are lots of things that can cause poor memory. Lots of treatable things. Do get checked out for them!

yes dementia is horrible I,m a mental health nurse I worked with adults suffering with dementia for years , I,m not sure it is always easier to watch some people depending on what type of dementia they are very frightened ,paranoid and suffer terribly with delusions there are medications that can slow down some forms of dementia but not all some people will be happily confused , some times not often people develop early onset dementia it is rare but it does happen.

It is scary but worrying will not improve things. I am also in my 50s and have noticed I don't learn and remember as well as I used to but I hold onto something I was once told " Dementia is not when you lose your keys again, it is when you have them and can't remember what they are or what to do with them"

Oh, and of my parents/grandparents who didn't get dementia, one died not much older than I am now and the other had bipolar disorder.

I'm past living scared of this horrible monstrous disease. I could be dead already, or have a seriously debilitating disease. Why let this thing rob me of happiness before it's even started?

I'm well beyond terrified, I am fucking well angry!

YABU to be allowing it to terrify you (for long), and to concentrate on the negative news, when there has been good news this week about breakthough research to combat Parkinsons!

I've just read 'Elizabeth is Missing' and 'Still Alice' back to back and I now have a panic attack when I cannot remember a word for something (which is increasingly frequently!). My gran had dementia, although not until she was around 80. My mum is 70 next year and she is all right so far, which I take some degree of comfort from.

CMOTDibbler
I can only hope , that if he loves me as I know he does , he will do this for me , and respect that I don't want to lose my dignity
And he will put me in a home and not visit me
That he will remember me as a happy , heathy woman and not as a horrible shadow of my former self wearing an incontinence pad , who doesn't even know who he is
And that's the state my father is now
And I can hardly bare to visit him

I dunno, for my mother's generation cancer was the Huge Scary Bad Thing.
So my mother smoked a lot & died of a heart attack instead.
I lean towards YABU.