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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go on a date with someone 10 years my junior

61 replies

Nabootique · 06/03/2015 10:39

Or am I being a sad old dear? I recently split up with DP and I am okay with it so I don't think this is a rebound thing. This youngster is funny and nice and we've only text so far, no date or kiss or anything, but I just feel like maybe I'm being a bit silly. He is not in the least bothered about the age gap, and I have dated younger fellas before, but very casually. I think I quite like this bloke so maybe that's why I'm more worried about it?? Might just be gun shy after last relationship as it was very hard at times. Do I need to get a grip?

OP posts:
iklboo · 06/03/2015 10:42

DH is 8 years younger than me. 10 isn't that much more!

MissusThePoint · 06/03/2015 10:42

Depends how old you are... If you're 26, then yes that would be a bit gross!!

If this man is over 21, then, hell yeah - go for it!!!!

starts day-dreaming about young, buff men

niceupthedance · 06/03/2015 10:43

It's only one date... See how it goes.

MissusThePoint · 06/03/2015 10:43

I have known two couples with 10+ yr age gap who have been / were happily married for decades.

Original poster
Nabootique · 06/03/2015 10:45

I think it probably does depend on how old you are. I'm not 26, but that made me laugh! I'm 32. How old were you were you and your DH got together, iklboo, if you don't mind me asking?

OP posts:
MissusThePoint · 06/03/2015 10:48

You might be over thinking this a bit OP. You need to go on a date and have some fun with him first. Then come back and tell us all about it!! Smile

Thingymawotsit · 06/03/2015 10:48

If you get on and the younger one is no younger than 20, there's no issue with an age gap. There are 13 years between Dp and I.

engeika · 06/03/2015 10:49

I was 30 and met a 21 year-old. We were together for 18 months - and very happy. It is something I wouldn't have missed for the world. He was sweet and clever and funny and gentle. It was very special but ended because essentially we wanted to live different lives but I admit age was a factor. He said he didn't see it working long-term.

We kept in touch through marriages, kids,divorces and remarriages. It is something we both remember as having been very important to us. If you like him go for it.

FuckItBucket · 06/03/2015 10:50

Go for it, it might not work out but least you tried. You never know it might be the start of something.

I can't go 10 year younger, I'd end up on a list!

tiredvommachine · 06/03/2015 10:52

My DH is ten years younger than me.
Tired done good! Grin

Original poster
Nabootique · 06/03/2015 10:53

I am definitely over thinking it. I think the prospect of actually dating is making me giddy! The last couple of relationships were people I sort of ended up with. I wouldn't change that and I did want to be with them, but there wasn't that sort of courtship bit, you know? So it's been.... I think 6 years since I had a date! Torn between sensible mummy head and having lusty wrong feelings for whippersnapper! But it is a nice problem to have, I think!

OP posts:
DidoTheDodo · 06/03/2015 10:54

My DH is 8 years younger than me also. (And the chap before that was 15 years younger....)
It depends on your relative maturity more than anything else. And hoping he isn't 16 either.

DrSeuss · 06/03/2015 10:56

If he were ten years older than you would this even be a discussion?

Original poster
Nabootique · 06/03/2015 10:58

No, it wouldn't, but I think the difference in stage of your life and your way of thinking might be more different 10 years younger than 10 years older. If I were to date a 42 year old their life might be more like mine, maybe? Obviously everyone is different and you may or may not be compatible with anyone, but I think that's why I'm asking.

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 06/03/2015 10:59

I'm dating someone 10 years younger (ten years is about my limit) and it's nice I'm 50 and he's 40.

The fact he doesn't have children and has no conception of the intricacies of childcare as a working single parent is a bigger problem.

Lusty feeling for whippersnapper is very pleasant!

Kewcumber · 06/03/2015 11:01

I have a 9 year old - ten years older would be a problem for me as 60 year olds generally have adult children and have also forgotten the babysitting/resident child so can't scream loud enough to wake the child thing Wink

squoosh · 06/03/2015 11:08

Go on the date. You might have a two week fling, you might spend the rest of you lives together. But most of all, you'll have fun!

Dumpylump · 06/03/2015 11:09

Have been with dp who is ten years younger than me for six years now. I was 43 when we got together.
It possibly helps that he and his ex had their dcs when they were a lot younger, so his two dcs are actually the same ages as my two.
We have had our ups and downs over the last few years, but the age gap has never been a problem.
Would also add that I am often told I look considerably younger than I am - this is not boasting, they don't say I look good, they say I look young - and dp would appear to have had a hard paper round Grin, so the difference in ages isn't obvious at a glance....

Dawndonnaagain · 06/03/2015 11:13

I was 33 when I got together with dh, he was 22. We're still here, 22 years and three children later!

Original poster
Nabootique · 06/03/2015 11:16

Oh, it's great to hear all of these stories! Okay, okay. I shall go forth and date (and possibly shag) the nubile youngster. But I'm only doing it for you, you bossy lot! Wink

OP posts:
miniHovis · 06/03/2015 11:23

Go for it, df is 8 years younger than me and it works for us, as long as he's over the age of roughly 20/21 it won't be that obvious to bystanders.

LadyPenny · 06/03/2015 11:34

I met my dh when I was 34 and he was 24. 20 years later we are still going strong.

The only downside is his shite taste in music Grin

Go for it.

YouBetterWerk · 06/03/2015 11:41

My fiancee and I have exactly 10 years between us, and it is the best relationship I have ever had. To be honest I don't really notice it anymore, aside from the odd 'Childhood TV shows' conversation.
I think a lot depends on how old you are in comparison to him. For example - 35 and 25, crack on, 27 and 17, different state of affairs.

Please don't worry, enjoy your date!

SilentCharisma · 06/03/2015 11:46

I'd go for it!

In a lot of male gay relationships, there are big age gaps and no one thinks about it / questions it. My first love was 30 when I was 20. I've always been an old head on young shoulders though Grin I was probably more mature than him!

GoringBit · 06/03/2015 11:47

If you both want to date each other, date each other - less thinkng, more doing, OP!

DP is 9 years older than me, it's never been an issue. If you're in tune, you're in tune, regardless of age.

Hope you have fun!