To be hacked off at being called a bad mother?

[Brandnewbrighttomorrow]

Apologies in advance - trivial but need to vent!

Mum of a child at school stopped me in the street yesterday afternoon and told me I was a bad mother (in front of my three kids). Apparently my youngest child (in reception) had burst into tears after I had left that morning and claimed that I'd gone without giving her a kiss (which I hadn't).

I was so startled at the time I couldn't frame an appropriate response (not one I could say in front of my kids anyway) but am furious in retrospect - AIBU to be pissed off?

Not U. I want to take the woman's head off on your behalf! How dare she? What a bad example she is being so rude and inappropriate in front of your kids. Do you think you will say anything or is it too late now?

Thank you! Was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and decide if she was trying to be funny then realised that a) she wasn't and b) what the hell must my kids have thought?!

Was she maybe joking? She must have been joking.

don't know yet if I'll say anything; if she says anything even vaguely critical though in the near future suspect she'll be receiving my wrath...

she's a very odd woman, it's hard to tell if that was her intention. she didn't laugh though.

This just sounds very bizarre unless there is much more to it.

really nothing more to it, don't know her well at all - she's a parent helper at school which is why she was there.

She was either joking surely or is a bit loopy.

She's unhinged.

Nod and smile. And ignore.

What were the exact words used.

I cannot believe someone would say "you are a bad mother because you failed to kiss your child goodbye at nursery"

"she's a parent helper at school"
She really shouldn't be.

She was either joking in one of those sarcastic, dry humour ways (I have one of those myself ) or she's seriously unhinged and you should just ignore.

I would raise it with the school. She sounds like a loon. she does not sound like a suitable pErson to be a parent helper.

Definitely sounds a bit loop-de-loop. (no disrespect to MH!!!!)

You don't need to raise it with anyone, just ignore her, completely

YADNBU.

That's definitely very, very rude and not normal behaviour at all.

I would raise it with the school. By approaching you in the street like that she has seriously over stepped a boundary and should not be allowed access to people's children if she cannot remain professional.

Could you speak to her without the children around?

I'd be tempted to raise it with the school, as others have said it's inappropriate behaviour.

Erm.

You are upset at a random remark made by a person who you never really have to speak to/invite to dinner/work with because she said you didn't give your child a kiss.

Your child claimed whilst crying to parent/helper you hadn't kissed her goodbye when you did.

Confused.

Who is lying here?

Redruby, doesn't sound like a random remark to me. It was clearly targeted at the OP based on something her 4 / 5 year old had said earlier. Why the hell does that mean anyone's lying, unless you ARE the parent/helper of course??

OP, she overstepped a boundary here. I would mention it to the class teacher and say how intrusive and inappropriate you found it.

Quite simply, it was none of her business. I'd hope that the class teacher would remind her of that, and tell her that this is not really what is meant by "pastoral care" at all.

Most likely she was being sarcastic/jokey.

I think the correct response here is "fuck you and the broom you rode in on".

YANBU. She is a trouble-making bitch - unless she was joking in which case she is just a bit weird. Are you a bad mother? Of course not. Let it go.

Surely it was meant as a sarcastic joke?

It was a common phrase amongst all the Mums at primary school, if we had forgotten something or been less than perfect.

We even joked about whose turn it was to wear the "bad mummy tshirt" that day, for forgetting a gym kit or whatever.

Apart from WTF - I wouldn't have been able to think of something to say either....
I think you should mention it to the class teacher especially if she's helping in your childs class...... if goodbyes/going in are tricky for your daughter (which it can be for lots in reception) shes the one that should be putting a plan in to help your daughter, not the parent 'helper'

Our school almost got rid of parent helpers due to a number of them getting too full of themselves and speaking to parents out of turn.....which would have been a real shame...they are very hot on boundaries now ....

She was joking.