to ask if you would provide a fictitious job reference for a friend?

[erinscupcake]

A friend has asked me to say I worked with her. I have never worked in this company before. I feel like a dweeb saying no (I often worry too much) but this makes me feel very uncomfortable.

Would you do this? Is it illegal?

No I wouldn't & I probably wouldn't want to be their friend anymore tbh.

Why do you feel like a "dweeb(??!!)" for saying no?

She's asking you to lie for her!

You shouldn't ever have to do any favours that make you uncomfortable or you just don't want to!

What an awful request - I can see you being caught up in legal proceedings at some point if you do.

Don't do it for a fictional job. Fine to write that you are friends, and that she is a general good egg (if this is her only slip up), buit not that you worked together unless you have.

Time out to look after kids hasn't stopped me interviewing someone - and indeed a 2 year gap, starting 3 months after a new job didn't prevent an interview. At interview, the reasons for the gap meant he didn't get the job!

Yes, personal references can, and are, accepted by companies.

I wrote one around Christmas time for a friend who had been asked for a personal reference, and she now has employment with that company. But I didn't say anything that wasn't true in there.

DB has just been asked for a character reference for a senior job. I was a bit suprosed by that one, but they wouldn't ask if they didn't get something out of it.

I wouldn't do it. I think she is being very unfair to even ask, she is also jeopardising any potential job that she might get.

No, I would never do this, for all the reasons already given by PP.

Oh no. What an awful position to be put in. I think your friend is basically dishonest.

No, you aren't being a dweeb. Whatever that is!

YANBU in preferring not to give a fake reference though. Highly dodgy and a practice that usually ends very badly for all concerned. Apart from anything else, there's nothing wrong with having a career break spent as a SAHM. A good friend shouldn't be asking you to do something like this either.

summarise dweeb, like a wimp?!

Like when I was a kid and wouldn't lie to friends mum that friend was with me! Kind of like that.

Thanks guys for reassurance.

I would. But no one ever lies on MN.

Would offer to do a personal reference, not a professional one.

For an admin job most companies will contact the HR dept or Payroll for an employment reference which basically confirms dates of employment. The only time a character reference was required was when there was additional vetting checks made before employment or promotion due to the role.

OP your friend is better off just being truthful as any doubts could impact on the job offer. When I worked in HR and dealt with referencing if anything didn't stack up then we requested the applicant obtained a HMRC employer record which detailed all employers within a relevant time frame.

Being a SAHM is a valid reason for a gap in your employment history.

I absolutely wouldn't but then this is the sort of thing that has got people into professional discipline issues in my profession.

No, I wouldn't do it.

I wouldn't be overly bother about the moral/ethical wrongness of it for a good friend but, to be honest, I'd just be too scared of one or both of us getting into trouble!

You'd both look pretty stupid if the new company called the old company and asked if they could confirm employment.

Anything could blow the secret too, like a colleague who knows the old company, or the HMRC, or LinkedIn, or anything. It's just too much of a risky lie.

I would and have, quite a few times.

Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things unless it's for a position with vulnerable people, children etc.

Does she expect you to pick a random company that neither of you have actually worked for, and claim that she reported to you during her non existent employment there??? How in God's name is that supposed to work?
The fact that you haven't dismissed it out of hand is worrying...
It is fraud.

I don't know why she isn't just being honest? Explain why she hasn't been working for the past few years. being a SAHP teachers a lot of skills that many other jobs don't! With regards to a reference, she should contact the organisation she last worked for, hopefully there would be someone there that she used to work with and could be a referee, or someone she could put down and they do a reference based on employee records.

I just feel sorry that she feels compelled to lie.

No. definitely not. A good friend wouldn't ask. offer a personal reference instead.

i would personally it isnt such a big deal

Tbh if I thought she'd be great at the job,I might.

A friend once asked me to do this too. She'd been a SAHM for a few years and wanted me to say that she'd worked for me as a cleaner. I said No - I felt bad about it because in a way it's a small lie (she didn't want me to pretend that she'd been my accountant or something) but I felt it was just wrong.