to wonder why my DH fills up the dishwasher but doesn't turn it on?

[Twiceover]

Sometimes, not all the time. He fills it up...and then he leaves it. So that when you open it the next morning to get out the breakfast dishes they're still dirty. And there's no clean dishes. Why does he do this? What possible logic can be running through his head?

• Oh, there might be room for another teaspoon, I'll just wait?
• Ooh, something shiny over there? Now what was I doing?
• There, I've tidied away all those dirty dishes, now the kitchen looks lovely, job done. Drives me mad. Does anyone do this? Why????

Because something else might need to be added to it

Maybe he doesn't know what tablets to use or something equally baffling?

Have you asked him?

For the same reason my DH puts his clothes on top of the dirty laundry basket instead of in it? If you find out the reason, please do let me know...

It's a bit like a child doing a bit of very neat work at school.
Once they've done it it becomes the expected norm
He probably thinks he's done enough depending on what hours you both work
It's one step better than leaving it by the dishwasher and two steps better than never clearing any dishes away ever!

Probably the same reason why my DP can walk past a full washing basket several times and not think " oo wonder if Gallic wants that putting out to dry?"

Because there is space for one more cup and it would be a 'waste' to run it when it's not fully loaded..

Or so I am told when I'm looking at a dishwasher full of dirty dishes in the morning.

Mine doesn't turn it on because he doesn't want to keep the dog awake...

Is it not worth the last one to bed turning it on or having a time for whoever is nearest to turn it on...'if it isn't in by 7 too bad'?

Both of us do that at times."Well it's 11.30 at night, the dishwasher is groaning under the weight of dishes and everyone has gone to bed. I'll just go to the loo and then check again in case any dishes magically made themselves dirty in the last 5 mins..." honestly I do not know what it's about myself but I do know it's the same impulse that makes you look in the fridge and ignore something on the turn even though you know by the next time you look it'll be green and runny.

My family (all adults) all do the same!!

I have the opposite problem. Dh will turn the dishwasher on half full when I'm having a lie in, and then proudly tell me he's washed the dishes, as the teetering mountain of unwashed plates wobbles in the background. I love him though, I keep reminding myself of that.

You are not alone. It's enraging. My DH "helpfully" elbows his way in when I'm trying to fill the dishwasher, rearranges everything as I back off, perplexed. I leave to do one of the other 364 things that need doing, then when it comes to the next meal I discover everything's still dirty in the (over flowingly full) dishwasher.

It makes me all ragey.

Mine half empties it to get the thing he wants and leaves the rest. He also dumps dirty things in the sink when they can go in the dw and then will do things like empty cold tea dregs or the remains of ds's bottle on top. Gross.
The smell is the worst bit - cracking the door open and the stench of old food.... Uuugh!
After 10+ years of marriage I have educated him that the weird black plastic thing is a bin, sometimes he actually uses it. He's still not good at getting his dirties in the laundry basket yet, but I live in hope.

For the same reason my DP will wash a whole bowl of dishes but will always without fail leave one glass unwashed.

It's as though he gets so close to the end of the task and then can't cope with the pressure of completion.

I had a proper rant about this very thing just a few days ago. I'd rather DH didn't bother tidying up after dinner if he's just going to do most of a job and then not finish it. I go to empty the full dishwasher in the morning and he hasn't actually turned it on, aaaargh

365thingstodo - I think I may also be married to your DH. Either that, or there's 2 of them out there...!!!
DH also reloads the dishwasher after I've already stacked it once. I don't do it very efficiently, it seems. Sometimes I even get the benefit of a free lecture on the best way to stack things in there.
And then he wanders off. I have pointed out several times that being efficiently loaded counts for bugger all if you don't turn the damn thing on but it is a losing battle. Why is it so damn hard to do this last little thing - the thing that actually results in clean dishes, however inefficiently stacked?

Mine loads it completely full, and then puts it on a rinse cycle. The next morning I'm confronted with semi-dirty dishes that still need washing. Why?

YY to DH doing all the washing up and leaving 1 or 2 glasses-for the love of God why??!!

Glad I'm not alone at least! He definitely knows how to use the dishwasher and is quite capable of turning it on.

Because there is space for one more cup and it would be a 'waste' to run it when it's not fully loaded - I think this is probably his logic. But it costs more to run it during the day than at night, quite apart from the inconvenience.

I feel better. And the dishwasher is running...

I had this exact conversation with DP yesterday.

Apparently he thought he might want another drink later in the evening so was going to put it on then.

Because why should he do anything if someone will do it for them?

I blame the mothers! And that is 50% of us lot on here - in a few years there will be some poor cow moaning about our sons... Do we expect it from them as children/teens? Why should it be up to their wives to 'train' them?

I do this as we do usually have something to drink in the evening so will pop that in before turning it on later but sometimes forget.

Leaving one cup / glass after washing up. I do that too. Washing up is thirsty work so I sometimes get a drink straight after. Sorry.