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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take my friend's dd shopping to buy her mum a mother's day gift?

53 replies

listsandbudgets · 01/03/2015 00:50

Friend is a single mum of 3 children (2, 6 and 9). Her ex is rubbish (and that's being very polite ) There are no grandparents involved either. Her oldest is in my DD's class and is worrying about mother's day. She's made a necklace and a card but dd says she really wants to get her mum some chocolates as she thinks she deserves something nice as she works very hard and always gives the nice stuff to them. (both true)

Would it be unreasonable to invite friends dd for a playdate before mothers day, give her £10 and take her to the shops to choose her mum something?

OP posts:
ILovePud · 01/03/2015 10:54

musicalendorphins2 that a genius idea.

louwn · 01/03/2015 10:55

That is so lovely, please do it OP.

Charlie97 · 01/03/2015 11:08

YADNBU, but you definitely are being lovely'!

dd will get as much out of it as her mum.

ThanksThanksThanksThanks for you xx

Angryfaces · 01/03/2015 11:14

You sound like an amazing woman, my best friend does this for me every year even when she wasn't living in the same country she would always make sure I had something.
One year she wrote the most amazing post on Facebook which o had printed and is now living on my frontroom wall everytime I look at it makes me smile.

Original poster
listsandbudgets · 01/03/2015 12:07

musicalendorphins that's a fabulous idea. I'll send them to hang the washing up and unload the dishwasher then pay up :) two intelligent 9 year old girls should be able to cope with that )

OP posts:
Brummiegirl15 · 01/03/2015 14:48

This is a lovely idea. A good friend of mine passed away a couple of years ago (he lived in Dubai, but the dd was at a British school and they celebrated same uk holidays ) and I flew to Dubai to be with his wife and daughter after the funeral in the UK. My visit coincided with Mothers Day so I made sure I took some M&S chocs and a Mothers Day card for her DD. It was painful enough for them, I didn't want her first Mother's Day alone to be any more painful than it needed to be.

His wife wasn't really my friend so to speak, more an acquaintance, but he was a very dear friend to me and I guess me trying to be there for his wife was me doing my bit for him when you say to a dying friend "is there anything I can do?"

EveBoswell · 01/03/2015 14:53

It's a lovely idea, OP, and I go along with others who have suggested that you rein in the £10 to more like £5. 9 year olds rarely have £10 to spend at once.

Please call it Mothering Sunday though ...

Mehitabel6 · 01/03/2015 14:58

But it isn't Mothering Sunday to all. I have to put Mothering Sunday to my mother but a lot are just celebrating Mother's Day with no church history.

EveBoswell · 01/03/2015 15:08

Thee wouldn't be a Mother's Day if it were not Mothering Sunday until the commercial giants come along, of course, to take advantage of people.

Deux · 01/03/2015 15:08

Lovely idea and great to get the girls to earn their money too.

You can get lovely bowls of hyacinth bulbs for less than £5 which can then be planted out in the garden to flower every year.

Mehitabel6 · 01/03/2015 15:11

I expect there would be Mothers Day-lots of days are invented by those who want to sell things!

WineIsMyMainVice · 01/03/2015 15:16

You sound like a lovely friend. And how lovely that her DD is thinking about it too! Definitely do it.

mummytowillow · 01/03/2015 21:16

Lovely idea, can you take my daughter to as I'll get nowt as my ex is useless!

wheresthelight · 01/03/2015 21:29

Awww you are lovely!!! definitely do it Grin and have some Wine Wine and Thanks Thanks Thanks for you!

I used to so this for a former friend when she was single and her boys were young. it was always very much appreciated

Gatehouse77 · 01/03/2015 21:38

I like musical endorphins2 idea too.

It's a lovely idea. My sister would do this with my 3 when DH and I were separated as DH wasn't always on the ball (to be fair, it was usually due to work travel). It's a lovely, thoughtful idea. What a great friend you are!

musicalendorphins2 · 04/03/2015 11:14

I am thrilled you are using my idea! Smile Hope they have a lot of fun earning their money and shopping.

WhyNotSmile · 04/03/2015 11:18

Lovely idea, but I agree with getting the DD to "earn" the money so the gift is really from her. even just doing some dishes or dusting some shelves or something - she will really have done something to get the present then.

BlackeyedSusan · 04/03/2015 11:24

beats standing in asda with your eyes half closed while you daughter chooses you a present that you are not supposed to know about.

FlabbyMummy · 04/03/2015 11:28

Do it!! Thats a lovely thing to do and I wish I had done this for my friend but I lived 250 miles away!

Weebirdie · 04/03/2015 19:26

I wouldnt get the wee girl to earn the money, life seems hard enough as it is for her - I'd just give her the joy of the experience with no strings attached.

Its not absolutely necessary for people to be constantly learning lessons and if she really does have to Hmm then let her lesson be that people can be lovely.

trufflesnout · 04/03/2015 19:34

Yeah I disagree with making her 'earn' the money too, tbh I think that's overstepping a boundary. Give her the gift of a fiver's spending money and she can buy something for her mum with it.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 04/03/2015 19:41

They're hardly being sent down a coal mine to earn it. I think a token way of earning money is fine for 9 year olds.

trufflesnout · 04/03/2015 19:45

But why does it matter? I don't understand the point or relevance making her earn it. Just seems a bit power trippy.

fedup0f · 04/03/2015 19:58

I interpreted the 'earning' the money as the little girl/mum not feeling embarrassed at being given the money for nothing so not to feel like a charity case if they are sensitive to it. I think it's a lovely idea and very thoughtful of you op.

trufflesnout · 04/03/2015 20:02

Ah. Got it.

I think it's the wrong approach though, unless she regularly goes to other people's houses to do chores for money I guess.

If I were her I simply wouldn't get the connection between chores -> money -> gift for mum and would probably rather be playing with my friend.

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